OLAS 485 May 9th 2010
You're not to come and see us no more,
Keep away from our door,
Don't come 'round here no more…
How can you show your face,
When you're a disgrace to the human race?
No commitment, you're an embarrassment
(Madness, 1980)
Thank God it’s over today. I’ve never felt more embarrassed and distressed to be a Hammers fan than this season. “Disgrace to the human race” is probably putting it lightly. There’s only so much heartache and disappointment you can take, after all the promise Zola and the players showed last year. This year we showed nothing – no shape, no ideas, no motivation, no spark, no togetherness as a team, no self-respect, let alone any respect for the customers who part with their hard-earned cash to follow them every game. I have to count myself lucky I only go to the home games. I can’t imagine how diddled and deflated those fans must feel who travel the length and breadth of the country given the lame performances on the road every other week, except the very first game of the season when we managed to beat an enthusiastic but poor newly promoted team.
I saw just four games this year when I went home smiling and thinking: “That was a team I’m proud to support. That is a team that deserves reward for its efforts and skill”. And the brutal fact that we got only seven points out of twelve from those four excellent performances says so much about how we have struggled to achieve anything at all this year. I probably don’t have to tell you which games they were. You were there. But if you weren’t, I’m talking about our wins against Villa and Brum, our draw against Chelski and our narrow 3-2 defeat by Liverpool.
In every one of those games you saw West Ham playing with fire in their bellies, running for each other, using skill and technique and pace, using the width of the pitch, being creative, tackling with tenacity, driving ourselves forward and defending with bravery and alertness.
What we saw in the other 15 home games, let alone what some of you saw on the road, was a pile of shite – even the other games where we ended up winning. We deserved to go down, and Hull and Burnley must be kicking themselves that they didn’t take more advantage of how useless we were to muster enough points to finish ahead of us.
To say I’ve been disappointed with Zola and Clarke is a drastic understatement. In all the years of ups and downs at Upton Park, we’ve always been able to appreciate the skills on display the excitement of new players coming through, and the commitment to playing open attacking football. Even in those seasons when we struggled you never felt we were out of our depth in the premier league. And what’s more, with teamwork and commitment we would sometimes pull off surprising results against the teams with mega-bucks. These days we capitulate to them before a ball is kicked and run scared of most teams in the top half. Sickening.
It was because of the West Ham diet we’ve enjoyed over so many seasons that boring, boring, Curbishley was so hard to stomach. Zola was a breath of fresh air. Of course he will be gone after today – it’s only the details of his departure that need to be worked out – whether he is able to walk with dignity and any kind of cash settlement or whether Sullivan publicly pours more crap on him from a great height to make him walk with out a pay-off.
Zola knows he has failed abysmally this year after restoring us our pride and dignity last year. Having admired him as a player, and finding his attitude to life and personal values more than attractive, I have desperately wanted him to succeed. But I have to acknowledge he has been found wanting. And whatever the extraordinary levels of chaos, confusion, profligacy, lying, back-stabbing, front-stabbing, at boardroom level that has characterised our once universally-admired club, there are still no excuses ultimately for his tactical failures.
He has insisted on showing faith with useless players when there have been good alternatives, despite an appalling injury list. He has failed to motivate the players, to inject desire to succeed and to give something back to the fans. He has displayed a total lack of ideas of how to attempt to change things around when games are not going our way and has proved unable to foster a genuine and consistent team spirit. Without doubt the same charges have to levelled against Steve Clarke. And given our defensive frailties this year – perhaps even more so (with the caveats that he was seriously undermined by the selling of James Collins hot on the heels of Ferdinand and McCarthy, and the loss through injury for most of the season of Herita Ilunga who had such a promising first season for us.)
While I continue to believe that Zola more than any other premier league manager would be able to admit these things to himself, genuinely learn from mistakes, and find a way to improve, he won’t get the chance to. He may still have the belief of some players but he has lost the belief of the fans in his abilities. For some time now, several “fans” websites have been little more than Zola hate-fests.
Anyway I genuinely thank him for his efforts here and wish him good luck in the future. I only hope that whoever succeeds him has three key qualities: a football brain; a desire to play an attacking game; and a strong enough personality to stand up to that total arsehole Sullivan and his silver-tongued sidekick, Gold.
So, have you bought your raffle tickets yet? You may have read that Sullivan wants to sell all our players except Scott Parker. Apparently there are a few that the only wads of paper that can be used to buy them are not readies but used toilet paper, so they have decided to raffle them instead. Tickets should be on sale before today’s game
These are the three “prizes”:
3rd Prize: “Mido” – fat, lazy, slow, (and they are just his best qualities) but he will be guaranteed to be useless for your team for just one grand a week.
2nd prize: “Kovac” – tall leggy blonde who won’t bore you by telling you about his best games (there were none to tell of)
1st prize: “Spector” – slow, half-witted, and clueless – there was a time when Americans like him could become president. If you are lucky enough to win him you could just stick him on a shelf – he won’t even notice and certainly won’t move quickly enough to get away.
The words of the great bard, John Cooper-Clarke, in his seminal piece, “Twat”, could have been written for Jonathan Spector:
“Like a death a birthday party, you ruin all the fun.
Like a sucked and spat our smartie, you’re no use to anyone.”
Not surprisingly, a team of players told by the club’s owner that, Parker apart, they are all twats, are all useless, second-rate and disposable, failed to perform against Fulham Reserves and deserved to lose by more than the narrow and flattering 3-2 result that ultimately ensued. What they will do today against a motivated Citeh team still seeking points does not bear thinking about and won’t be pretty. The only factor that might militate against that is that the players may decide ‘Fuck that nomark Sullivan. Let’s put on a final performance for Zola”. And those with memories that outstrip goldfish may wish to ensure that Bellamy does not have everything going his way. So perhaps total embarrassment may be avoided this afternoon. I’m not sure that I care enough either way. It’s next season I’m thinking about.
Yes, there are players I would willingly see the back of. Apart from the three to be raffled I would, without any hesitation, add Upson, McCarthy and Dyer. I like Guillermo Franco and think he has added a touch of class which has been mostly absent from our play but I don’t think he has the stamina to keep performing at this level. And Gabbidon has never really recovered form injury to play premiership football. Trouble is, apart from the over-rated Upson I can’t see a lot of wedge coming in for these players and I don’t really think Sullivan and Gold want to dip too deeply into their well-lined pockets.
There are players who should probably be kept because, at their best, they are worthy of the shirt, but are too often inconsistent, such as Faubert, Diamanti and Ilan. If decent bids come in for these players it would be hard to justify hanging on to them.
But if Sullivan’s cull includes our crop of promising young players, unfairly expected to rise above the air of doom and gloom that has suffocated our team this year, then he can fuck off right now. What an absolute kick in the teeth and in the nuts it would be to the man whom the club gave a well-deserved testimonial to this week – Tony Carr – who continues to nurture talented youngsters and turn them in to potentially great players. Despite our woeful season, I still think we have many reasons for hope in the years to come if we hold on to Hines, Collison, Noble, Tomkins, Stanislas and find a way to realise their true potential. Indeed if Hines hadn’t got injured at a crucial part of the season it may have all been very different. He is the right combo player for Cole. Cole is still relatively sluggish and slow but has come on by leaps and bounds under Zola and can hold the ball up well and when playing with confidence can be a real handful even for experienced defenders. Hines has lightning pace and imagination but needs to build up his strength. But they complement each other extremely well. We also have our young imports such as Daprella and De Costa whose best years are ahead of them.
Blimey, somehow I’ve managed to end up optimistic and looking forward to the next campaign. Thanks to readers who have taken he time and trouble to read my random thoughts, and for Gary for providing a platform. Oh and by the way, in case you are asking, my Hammer of the Year? No contest. It’s got to be Iain Dowie!
See you in August! Today’s result: West Ham 4 Citeh 0 (Bellamy sent off and three Tevez own goals. As if…well I reckon someone is going to win 4-0 today anyway). COYI!!!!!
Saturday 8 May 2010
Saturday 24 April 2010
What's your combination?
OLAS 484 April 24th 2010
My column this week is dedicated to our older cat, who rejoiced in the name “Cannabis”, who passed away last Monday morning, April 19th. In her 14 years on Planet Earth she truly lived up to her name (certainly more than Jonathan Spector lives up to the name “footballer”). She made you feel relaxed and happy. When she was sitting with you, or near you, all your troubles – even those of a long-suffering West Ham fan, floated away. Because we are Hammers we spend significant parts of our lives (well the weekends anyway, especially after 5pm on a Saturday), despondent, angry, disappointed, frustrated – and occasionally elated. Cannabis the Cat reminded me of Ron Greenwood’s adage after West Ham beat Sunderland 8-0 back in October ‘68 (I was there!) when he was asked to comment on how he felt after that incredible performance; he said “I don’t get too elated when things go well and I don’t get too depressed when things go badly.” She was the most equable, chilled out, happy-go-lucky pet you can imagine, facing life with a smile and, like most cats, with curiosity. Throughout her life she was fascinated by water systems – toilets, baths, showers – and mechanical devices. And maybe she’ll come back as a plumber or an inventor in another life. They say that cannabis can have detrimental effects on your long term something or other – oh yes, memory. Well after spending 14 years with Cannabis the Cat I can still remember the most obscure stuff about West Ham in the 1960s when I first started coming to Upton Park. So they don’t know what they are talking about. She only had good effects on those around her, spreading warmth and happiness. May her memory be for a blessing.
Now, everyone has got their favourite combination – Hurst and Peters, a pint of lager and a bowl of wasabi peas, sun and sea, bagels and cream cheese…but surely the best combo is a weekend when West Ham win and Spurs lose both of which for different reasons were about as unlikely a couple of weeks back as being able to spend a day looking up at a beautiful blue sky and smelling the cleaner air uninterrupted by the sight and sound of planes. As an old Chinese proverb says, we are condemned to live in interesting times.
And hasn’t the sky been beautiful? As for Iceland though – you should see the size of the fucking cloud they left over West Ham just the other year.
Portsmouth’s season has crumbled into (non-volcanic) dust so they were at least relieved of any expectation of victory against Spurs. Nothing to lose, but instead, a chance for a great day out for their shattered fans, and the none too enticing promise of an opportunity to play in the cup final against the team that recently thumped them 5-0 on their home vegetable patch.
Spurs have been riding high most of the season under Harry, and although the taxman is in sight he keeps dodging away from him. Much as it pains me to admit it, the Artful Dodger has assembled an excellent squad of fast, aggressive attacking players, many of whom are capable of hitting the net. Their defence often looks dodgy but it’s more than compensated for by their goal-scoring, match winning options. They have a few players - Bale, Lennon, Huddleston, Modric – I would so love to see playing in claret and blue – not that we are in a position to attract any but bargain-basement, has-beens and never-will-have-beens at the moment. We all expected Portsmouth to make a game of it but I felt sure that if Spurs took the lead, Portsmouth heads would go down and they were well capable of losing by three or four. But they performed magnificently and thoroughly deserved their victory. The displayed exactly the kind of self-confidence and determination to succeed that we could have done with in our encounters against most of the top-half sides in this torrid season.
Our own desperately needed victory over the “mighty” Sunderland 24 hours earlier was a reward for grit and determination if not for quality or creativity. There was a rather long period earlier in the season when we couldn’t buy an ugly 1-0 win for love nor money and this one was so timely. Although those who closely follow my column will know that I suggested we were in for a high scoring game, half an hour before kick-off I disagreed with myself and decided to put my money on 1-0. As it turned out this was my first successful correct score bet of the season. And I won back about half the money I had thrown away on the Grand National. It seems that Ladbrokes, like God or the taxman gives with one hand but takes, and takes, and takes with the other.
Those four points from the Everton and Sunderland fixtures brought our dismal run of spineless defeats to an end and set us up nicely for our annual nightmare of a fixture at Anfield. With Hull and Wolves only able to register draws at the weekend things looked even more promising, but then Wigan pulled a victory out of certain defeat and against all odds stretched four points ahead of us again. And with Bolton having come from behind to win full points, the need to play out of our skins and get something from the visit to Liverpool was surely staring every one of our players in the face.
Out of our skins? We hardly got out of our half! It was an abject performance all round and we deserved to get trashed by more than the three goals a half-hearted Liverpool managed without having to break sweat before their more important European game. The only Hammers to emerge with any credit were the fans who could be heard throughout trying to lift the players and instill the pride that amazingly we still feel in identifying with our team – a team that must be our weakest, least talented or creative, and without doubt the least committed that I can ever remember.
I don’t suppose we’ll be told, but they showed every sign of a squad that had had a huge falling out with each other before the game. The team spirit that has been missing most of the season but was so evident against Everton and Sunderland, was not present at all. Zola and Clarke looked defeated at Anfield before a ball was kicked and they seemed totally devoid of ideas during the game. The players were barely going through the motions. If this isn’t sorted out by today then there are no two ways about it – we are fucked and thoroughly deserve to be. There are no excuses for our (lack of) performance at Liverpool though no doubt someone will probably say it was something to do with volcanic ash getting into our engines and slowing us down...
I remember a game against Liverpool just a few months ago when we were full of ideas and courage, when we played our hearts out and got narrowly defeated. We were in need of points at the time but not desperately fighting relegation. Surely we were entitled to expect at least that level of performance last Monday, when that threat hung over us so obviously and so menacingly. For all our efforts we might have been narrowly beaten again – Liverpool after all do have world-class players rather than the second-raters, the cast-offs and the inexperienced youngsters whose self-confidence is at rock-bottom that we possess – but psychologically it would have been so different. A battling defeat would have meant taking some spirit and pride and fight into today’s game. Instead we will be approaching it with a combination of desperation and gloom and not like any of those combos I mentioned earlier.
If we play like we did on Monday, and Wigan get the first goal, we won’t come back. But if we are too nervous about conceding then we won’t be brave enough going forward. I don’t know what the answer is – the season was lost in so many other games – but the 11 players who played the other night won’t do it. Scott Parker will be in for one of those places (hopefully Kojak’s); I’m praying that Daprella gets the nod over Spectator. And, though he may be a total nutter, Diamanti needs to be there – his passion is infectious and with a team so surprisingly lacking in attacking ideas it may only be from his powerful expertise in dead ball situations that we can hope to threaten Wigan’s goal. We can do it – but it is absolutely vital that we get the first goal. And let’s pray for Hull and Burnley’s opponents. If we fail to beat Wigan, and Wigan have hauled themselves to safety by the time they have to play Hull, you don’t need to be Mystic Meg to predict that result.
A few weeks ago when I interviewed Billy Bragg for OLAS and asked what results he wanted by the end of the season he said: “I’d like to see the BNP soundly defeated in Barking & Dagenham and the Hammers pull clear of the bottom six.” Since then we have definitely seen progress on the first, if not the other. Last weekend people in Barking and Dagenham who have been trying to expose the lies and racism of the BNP were joined by hundreds of others (myself included) in making sure that every home in the borough received a tabloid paper from Hope Not Hate – urging people to vote for the first by rejecting the second. Meanwhile we’ve seen serious in-fighting within the BNP – some of their candidates have stepped down and others have been expelled. One of their leading officers it seems had allegedly threatened to kill their leader Nick Griffin and has had to explain this to the police. I hope they get him for jumping the queue as well! Anyway OLAS readers – please, please, use your votes for Hope and not for Hate, and talk to your mates about it – this time it really is serious.
As for the second well, let’s see what can be done for “hope” at Upton Park this afternoon. Our next visitors here, after today, will be Man City on the final day of the season. Let’s hope that, by then, that will be one result that won’t matter because I can’t see us getting anything out of that game if they need the points too. Our team may be shite and look as if they don’t give a flying fuck, and in truth we probably deserve to go down, but if Hull and Burnley fail and our players find a way to keep us in the premier league I continue to believe that we can turn things around by the start of next season. We can begin then to restore the club to what it should be and what fans like us deserve to be part of. As the great philosophers of Sham 69 said: “They can lie to my face but not to my heart. If we all stand together, it will just be the start”. COYI!!!
My column this week is dedicated to our older cat, who rejoiced in the name “Cannabis”, who passed away last Monday morning, April 19th. In her 14 years on Planet Earth she truly lived up to her name (certainly more than Jonathan Spector lives up to the name “footballer”). She made you feel relaxed and happy. When she was sitting with you, or near you, all your troubles – even those of a long-suffering West Ham fan, floated away. Because we are Hammers we spend significant parts of our lives (well the weekends anyway, especially after 5pm on a Saturday), despondent, angry, disappointed, frustrated – and occasionally elated. Cannabis the Cat reminded me of Ron Greenwood’s adage after West Ham beat Sunderland 8-0 back in October ‘68 (I was there!) when he was asked to comment on how he felt after that incredible performance; he said “I don’t get too elated when things go well and I don’t get too depressed when things go badly.” She was the most equable, chilled out, happy-go-lucky pet you can imagine, facing life with a smile and, like most cats, with curiosity. Throughout her life she was fascinated by water systems – toilets, baths, showers – and mechanical devices. And maybe she’ll come back as a plumber or an inventor in another life. They say that cannabis can have detrimental effects on your long term something or other – oh yes, memory. Well after spending 14 years with Cannabis the Cat I can still remember the most obscure stuff about West Ham in the 1960s when I first started coming to Upton Park. So they don’t know what they are talking about. She only had good effects on those around her, spreading warmth and happiness. May her memory be for a blessing.
Now, everyone has got their favourite combination – Hurst and Peters, a pint of lager and a bowl of wasabi peas, sun and sea, bagels and cream cheese…but surely the best combo is a weekend when West Ham win and Spurs lose both of which for different reasons were about as unlikely a couple of weeks back as being able to spend a day looking up at a beautiful blue sky and smelling the cleaner air uninterrupted by the sight and sound of planes. As an old Chinese proverb says, we are condemned to live in interesting times.
And hasn’t the sky been beautiful? As for Iceland though – you should see the size of the fucking cloud they left over West Ham just the other year.
Portsmouth’s season has crumbled into (non-volcanic) dust so they were at least relieved of any expectation of victory against Spurs. Nothing to lose, but instead, a chance for a great day out for their shattered fans, and the none too enticing promise of an opportunity to play in the cup final against the team that recently thumped them 5-0 on their home vegetable patch.
Spurs have been riding high most of the season under Harry, and although the taxman is in sight he keeps dodging away from him. Much as it pains me to admit it, the Artful Dodger has assembled an excellent squad of fast, aggressive attacking players, many of whom are capable of hitting the net. Their defence often looks dodgy but it’s more than compensated for by their goal-scoring, match winning options. They have a few players - Bale, Lennon, Huddleston, Modric – I would so love to see playing in claret and blue – not that we are in a position to attract any but bargain-basement, has-beens and never-will-have-beens at the moment. We all expected Portsmouth to make a game of it but I felt sure that if Spurs took the lead, Portsmouth heads would go down and they were well capable of losing by three or four. But they performed magnificently and thoroughly deserved their victory. The displayed exactly the kind of self-confidence and determination to succeed that we could have done with in our encounters against most of the top-half sides in this torrid season.
Our own desperately needed victory over the “mighty” Sunderland 24 hours earlier was a reward for grit and determination if not for quality or creativity. There was a rather long period earlier in the season when we couldn’t buy an ugly 1-0 win for love nor money and this one was so timely. Although those who closely follow my column will know that I suggested we were in for a high scoring game, half an hour before kick-off I disagreed with myself and decided to put my money on 1-0. As it turned out this was my first successful correct score bet of the season. And I won back about half the money I had thrown away on the Grand National. It seems that Ladbrokes, like God or the taxman gives with one hand but takes, and takes, and takes with the other.
Those four points from the Everton and Sunderland fixtures brought our dismal run of spineless defeats to an end and set us up nicely for our annual nightmare of a fixture at Anfield. With Hull and Wolves only able to register draws at the weekend things looked even more promising, but then Wigan pulled a victory out of certain defeat and against all odds stretched four points ahead of us again. And with Bolton having come from behind to win full points, the need to play out of our skins and get something from the visit to Liverpool was surely staring every one of our players in the face.
Out of our skins? We hardly got out of our half! It was an abject performance all round and we deserved to get trashed by more than the three goals a half-hearted Liverpool managed without having to break sweat before their more important European game. The only Hammers to emerge with any credit were the fans who could be heard throughout trying to lift the players and instill the pride that amazingly we still feel in identifying with our team – a team that must be our weakest, least talented or creative, and without doubt the least committed that I can ever remember.
I don’t suppose we’ll be told, but they showed every sign of a squad that had had a huge falling out with each other before the game. The team spirit that has been missing most of the season but was so evident against Everton and Sunderland, was not present at all. Zola and Clarke looked defeated at Anfield before a ball was kicked and they seemed totally devoid of ideas during the game. The players were barely going through the motions. If this isn’t sorted out by today then there are no two ways about it – we are fucked and thoroughly deserve to be. There are no excuses for our (lack of) performance at Liverpool though no doubt someone will probably say it was something to do with volcanic ash getting into our engines and slowing us down...
I remember a game against Liverpool just a few months ago when we were full of ideas and courage, when we played our hearts out and got narrowly defeated. We were in need of points at the time but not desperately fighting relegation. Surely we were entitled to expect at least that level of performance last Monday, when that threat hung over us so obviously and so menacingly. For all our efforts we might have been narrowly beaten again – Liverpool after all do have world-class players rather than the second-raters, the cast-offs and the inexperienced youngsters whose self-confidence is at rock-bottom that we possess – but psychologically it would have been so different. A battling defeat would have meant taking some spirit and pride and fight into today’s game. Instead we will be approaching it with a combination of desperation and gloom and not like any of those combos I mentioned earlier.
If we play like we did on Monday, and Wigan get the first goal, we won’t come back. But if we are too nervous about conceding then we won’t be brave enough going forward. I don’t know what the answer is – the season was lost in so many other games – but the 11 players who played the other night won’t do it. Scott Parker will be in for one of those places (hopefully Kojak’s); I’m praying that Daprella gets the nod over Spectator. And, though he may be a total nutter, Diamanti needs to be there – his passion is infectious and with a team so surprisingly lacking in attacking ideas it may only be from his powerful expertise in dead ball situations that we can hope to threaten Wigan’s goal. We can do it – but it is absolutely vital that we get the first goal. And let’s pray for Hull and Burnley’s opponents. If we fail to beat Wigan, and Wigan have hauled themselves to safety by the time they have to play Hull, you don’t need to be Mystic Meg to predict that result.
A few weeks ago when I interviewed Billy Bragg for OLAS and asked what results he wanted by the end of the season he said: “I’d like to see the BNP soundly defeated in Barking & Dagenham and the Hammers pull clear of the bottom six.” Since then we have definitely seen progress on the first, if not the other. Last weekend people in Barking and Dagenham who have been trying to expose the lies and racism of the BNP were joined by hundreds of others (myself included) in making sure that every home in the borough received a tabloid paper from Hope Not Hate – urging people to vote for the first by rejecting the second. Meanwhile we’ve seen serious in-fighting within the BNP – some of their candidates have stepped down and others have been expelled. One of their leading officers it seems had allegedly threatened to kill their leader Nick Griffin and has had to explain this to the police. I hope they get him for jumping the queue as well! Anyway OLAS readers – please, please, use your votes for Hope and not for Hate, and talk to your mates about it – this time it really is serious.
As for the second well, let’s see what can be done for “hope” at Upton Park this afternoon. Our next visitors here, after today, will be Man City on the final day of the season. Let’s hope that, by then, that will be one result that won’t matter because I can’t see us getting anything out of that game if they need the points too. Our team may be shite and look as if they don’t give a flying fuck, and in truth we probably deserve to go down, but if Hull and Burnley fail and our players find a way to keep us in the premier league I continue to believe that we can turn things around by the start of next season. We can begin then to restore the club to what it should be and what fans like us deserve to be part of. As the great philosophers of Sham 69 said: “They can lie to my face but not to my heart. If we all stand together, it will just be the start”. COYI!!!
Beautiful Day
OLAS 483 April 10th 2010
Telepathy? Maybe. But early on Saturday morning, for the first time in many years, I played one of my favourite tracks by the Levellers: “What a Beautiful Day”. It might have seemed an ironic choice given that we’ve been getting used to Saturdays and Sundays that are far from beautiful – but have been filled with anxiety and apprehension, desperation, doom and gloom. But last Saturday seemed to get better and better, what with Hull going a goal down on six minutes and Stoke doubling their lead in the second half, Wolves going down to an injury time goal at the Arse, and when I checked the Burnley - Man City score at half time in the late kick-off, I could hardly believe my eyes. Burnley have been strong at home for much of the season, while Man City have blown hot and cold, so I had fancied our claret and blue brothers to make that a tight game in what was almost a local derby (northern bastards v northern bastards).
It was truly a beautiful day and had me geared up looking forward with some optimism to Sunday, even though I get to win the lottery almost as often as we get something from Goodson Park, ie never.
The news just a few minutes before our game that Wigan were leading at Fulham was threatening to ruin the lucky charm of the weekend but Zola was clearly in fighting form and managed to instil that into the players. Admittedly the situation on half time still didn’t look too promising. In an all too familiar script we had started well but faded. We were fighting but losing too many challenges in midfield and that was putting the defence under increasing strain. Inevitably we paid for it when we gave away a soft goal, for which Spectator, da Costa and Upson were all at fault.
Fortunately Everton were not at their sharpest and rarely threatened to take more advantage of our weaknesses. Meanwhile Noble and Parker – who both epitomised the spirit needed to fight back – were working overtime to hold the fort and Stanislas tried to use his pace to create openings for our forwards. Parker’s most spirited and foolhardy moment was when he went tumbling over but, desperate to pass the ball to a team-mate, he lay flat on the ground and headed the ball with boots flying nearby. It brought to mind a comment by my late comedian friend (and Hammers fan), the brilliant Linda Smith, when she described rugby players who go in head first: “They have no fear of head injuries and apparently no reason to fear them”.
Parker led a series of threatening runs but our one moment of real creativity that left Everton hopelessly undone came to nothing when Mido chose to tap the ball gently for their goalie rather than smash in a penalty perhaps generously awarded.
I was watching the game in my local pub with two mates – one an Everton supporter and the other another Tufnell Park Hammer. The former had good reason to be smug and half time and the latter, like me, was not particularly looking forward to the second half, though well aware that we were still in the game at 1-0 down.
Second half of course was a different story. We played with more pace and determination, started to win challenges and look more threatening on the break while the defence were snuffing out any Everton threats much more efficiently. When Noble placed a beautiful chip, worthy of the Academy of Football, over their goalie, only to see it bounce back off the bar I almost resigned myself to another defeat, only one with better quality excuses “…but we missed a penalty and hit the bar”.
A minute later, though, we were truly celebrating. Da Costa’s stab at the ball was hardly the stuff that gave us the reputation of “the Academy” but his grit and effort, and the way he and the team celebrated, typified the spirit we need, along with the style we have grown accustomed to over the years, but which reveals itself so rarely these days. Suddenly it really was game-on. As the game wore on I didn’t think Everton were going to break us down and the chances of us nicking a goal on the break seemed to be increasing. Cole had an excellent chance but shot wide from a good position.
I don’t know whether the players knew, but the news from Craven Cottage that Fulham had not only pulled a goal back but also taken the lead over Wigan was keeping our spirits up as well.
Everton’s second goal with five minutes to go, ought to have been a killer. Like so many of the 57 varieties of goals we have conceded this season, its origins were in our defence’s inability to make a simple and effective clearance in the first place , and that was an open invitation to place us under more pressure. This was followed by two of our tallest defenders being out jumped and out-manoeuvred from a teasing cross. At that moment the only consolation was that we had actually fought back form going a goal down and had looked like we were going to hold on for an unlikely point. It wouldn’t have felt like a defeat in the same way as other recent drubbings. We hadn’t just put our heads down, rolled over and died. But a couple of minutes later came a West Ham goal of old. A precision cross not to the player’s head but to where the forward was running. A powerful diving header. 2-2, a point rescued and a moral victory. It was the kind of goal I used to see every other week in the days of Hurst and Peters, getting service from Brabrook, Redknapp and Sissons, but it was the kind of goal we have been starved of more recently. Full credit to Faubert for the cross and for Ilan for having the vision and bravery to go for it, and the precision to put it away. I doubt if Mido’s partner in the flab-stakes – McCarthy who was another option on the bench – would have had the speed or presence of mind to do what Ilan had done. So full credit to Zola for making the right substitution,
That moment in itself ought to clear up one of Zola’s selection quandaries today. In the 15 minutes he was on the pitch, Ilan was far more effective than Mido had been all afternoon and surely justifies a place in the starting 11. Mido wins more balls than you expect in the air but he is slow, overweight and perhaps better suited to watching football on television than playing it.
Losing Parker for two games is without doubt an immense blow – especially as he won the ball cleanly in the challenge for which he was booked but if Behrami is fit he can fill in, and Noble’s display at Everton gave confidence that he can take on that role too. As for elsewhere in midfield and defence, how we continue to choose that lummox Kojak and the utterly clueless Spectator when other options are available still baffles me. I hope that when Zola comes down from the jubilation he must be feeling and soberly analyses the weaknesses we still displayed, he will find alternatives to these donkeys (no offence to donkeys, who are fine animals and excellent jackets but are not footballers).
We all knew how crucial the home game with Stoke was in our last Upton Park outing and the crowd really got behind the team – as we must do today. We saw a determined performance but players still lacking in confidence following such a terrible run of defeats, and devoid of the guile, creativity and subtlety needed to unlock the totally predictable but well organised no-nonsense defensive unit that Stoke possess. Sunderland are more brittle than Stoke – they have let in 34 goals on the road compared with Stoke’s 16 – and we can go into this game with our heads held higher from that terrific point won at Everton. The danger is at the other end where Darren Bent, a player I never particularly rated has hit a patch of excellent form. A high-scoring game may be on the cards and at the final whistle Zola needs to be in a position to be able to reply in the style of the legendary Malcolm Allison, who when asked once on television why his team had triumphed, responded : “We scored more goals than they did.”
Wigan are not playing this weekend. Victory today means that whatever result ensues at Liverpool on April 19th (apart from losing 20-0) we would entertain Wigan on April 24th within striking distance of them and with a vastly superior goal difference. At the same time Hull and Burnley have to play each other and soon Hull and Wigan have to lock horns. So even if Hull haul themselves clear they will be keeping Burnley and Wigan down in the basement places. In addition Bolton are not quite out of it too. It all looks just a little rosier than 10 days ago and, as the Levellers remind us: “Nothing is impossible in my own powerful mind”. COYI!!!
Telepathy? Maybe. But early on Saturday morning, for the first time in many years, I played one of my favourite tracks by the Levellers: “What a Beautiful Day”. It might have seemed an ironic choice given that we’ve been getting used to Saturdays and Sundays that are far from beautiful – but have been filled with anxiety and apprehension, desperation, doom and gloom. But last Saturday seemed to get better and better, what with Hull going a goal down on six minutes and Stoke doubling their lead in the second half, Wolves going down to an injury time goal at the Arse, and when I checked the Burnley - Man City score at half time in the late kick-off, I could hardly believe my eyes. Burnley have been strong at home for much of the season, while Man City have blown hot and cold, so I had fancied our claret and blue brothers to make that a tight game in what was almost a local derby (northern bastards v northern bastards).
It was truly a beautiful day and had me geared up looking forward with some optimism to Sunday, even though I get to win the lottery almost as often as we get something from Goodson Park, ie never.
The news just a few minutes before our game that Wigan were leading at Fulham was threatening to ruin the lucky charm of the weekend but Zola was clearly in fighting form and managed to instil that into the players. Admittedly the situation on half time still didn’t look too promising. In an all too familiar script we had started well but faded. We were fighting but losing too many challenges in midfield and that was putting the defence under increasing strain. Inevitably we paid for it when we gave away a soft goal, for which Spectator, da Costa and Upson were all at fault.
Fortunately Everton were not at their sharpest and rarely threatened to take more advantage of our weaknesses. Meanwhile Noble and Parker – who both epitomised the spirit needed to fight back – were working overtime to hold the fort and Stanislas tried to use his pace to create openings for our forwards. Parker’s most spirited and foolhardy moment was when he went tumbling over but, desperate to pass the ball to a team-mate, he lay flat on the ground and headed the ball with boots flying nearby. It brought to mind a comment by my late comedian friend (and Hammers fan), the brilliant Linda Smith, when she described rugby players who go in head first: “They have no fear of head injuries and apparently no reason to fear them”.
Parker led a series of threatening runs but our one moment of real creativity that left Everton hopelessly undone came to nothing when Mido chose to tap the ball gently for their goalie rather than smash in a penalty perhaps generously awarded.
I was watching the game in my local pub with two mates – one an Everton supporter and the other another Tufnell Park Hammer. The former had good reason to be smug and half time and the latter, like me, was not particularly looking forward to the second half, though well aware that we were still in the game at 1-0 down.
Second half of course was a different story. We played with more pace and determination, started to win challenges and look more threatening on the break while the defence were snuffing out any Everton threats much more efficiently. When Noble placed a beautiful chip, worthy of the Academy of Football, over their goalie, only to see it bounce back off the bar I almost resigned myself to another defeat, only one with better quality excuses “…but we missed a penalty and hit the bar”.
A minute later, though, we were truly celebrating. Da Costa’s stab at the ball was hardly the stuff that gave us the reputation of “the Academy” but his grit and effort, and the way he and the team celebrated, typified the spirit we need, along with the style we have grown accustomed to over the years, but which reveals itself so rarely these days. Suddenly it really was game-on. As the game wore on I didn’t think Everton were going to break us down and the chances of us nicking a goal on the break seemed to be increasing. Cole had an excellent chance but shot wide from a good position.
I don’t know whether the players knew, but the news from Craven Cottage that Fulham had not only pulled a goal back but also taken the lead over Wigan was keeping our spirits up as well.
Everton’s second goal with five minutes to go, ought to have been a killer. Like so many of the 57 varieties of goals we have conceded this season, its origins were in our defence’s inability to make a simple and effective clearance in the first place , and that was an open invitation to place us under more pressure. This was followed by two of our tallest defenders being out jumped and out-manoeuvred from a teasing cross. At that moment the only consolation was that we had actually fought back form going a goal down and had looked like we were going to hold on for an unlikely point. It wouldn’t have felt like a defeat in the same way as other recent drubbings. We hadn’t just put our heads down, rolled over and died. But a couple of minutes later came a West Ham goal of old. A precision cross not to the player’s head but to where the forward was running. A powerful diving header. 2-2, a point rescued and a moral victory. It was the kind of goal I used to see every other week in the days of Hurst and Peters, getting service from Brabrook, Redknapp and Sissons, but it was the kind of goal we have been starved of more recently. Full credit to Faubert for the cross and for Ilan for having the vision and bravery to go for it, and the precision to put it away. I doubt if Mido’s partner in the flab-stakes – McCarthy who was another option on the bench – would have had the speed or presence of mind to do what Ilan had done. So full credit to Zola for making the right substitution,
That moment in itself ought to clear up one of Zola’s selection quandaries today. In the 15 minutes he was on the pitch, Ilan was far more effective than Mido had been all afternoon and surely justifies a place in the starting 11. Mido wins more balls than you expect in the air but he is slow, overweight and perhaps better suited to watching football on television than playing it.
Losing Parker for two games is without doubt an immense blow – especially as he won the ball cleanly in the challenge for which he was booked but if Behrami is fit he can fill in, and Noble’s display at Everton gave confidence that he can take on that role too. As for elsewhere in midfield and defence, how we continue to choose that lummox Kojak and the utterly clueless Spectator when other options are available still baffles me. I hope that when Zola comes down from the jubilation he must be feeling and soberly analyses the weaknesses we still displayed, he will find alternatives to these donkeys (no offence to donkeys, who are fine animals and excellent jackets but are not footballers).
We all knew how crucial the home game with Stoke was in our last Upton Park outing and the crowd really got behind the team – as we must do today. We saw a determined performance but players still lacking in confidence following such a terrible run of defeats, and devoid of the guile, creativity and subtlety needed to unlock the totally predictable but well organised no-nonsense defensive unit that Stoke possess. Sunderland are more brittle than Stoke – they have let in 34 goals on the road compared with Stoke’s 16 – and we can go into this game with our heads held higher from that terrific point won at Everton. The danger is at the other end where Darren Bent, a player I never particularly rated has hit a patch of excellent form. A high-scoring game may be on the cards and at the final whistle Zola needs to be in a position to be able to reply in the style of the legendary Malcolm Allison, who when asked once on television why his team had triumphed, responded : “We scored more goals than they did.”
Wigan are not playing this weekend. Victory today means that whatever result ensues at Liverpool on April 19th (apart from losing 20-0) we would entertain Wigan on April 24th within striking distance of them and with a vastly superior goal difference. At the same time Hull and Burnley have to play each other and soon Hull and Wigan have to lock horns. So even if Hull haul themselves clear they will be keeping Burnley and Wigan down in the basement places. In addition Bolton are not quite out of it too. It all looks just a little rosier than 10 days ago and, as the Levellers remind us: “Nothing is impossible in my own powerful mind”. COYI!!!
Who's afraid of the big, bad Wolves?
OLAS482 March 27th 2010
I can’t believe that I hadn’t seen it coming. All the warning signs were there in our feeble performances against the big three. And if I still hadn’t cottoned on to how low morale and expectations had fallen, and how low were the levels of interest among the players of playing for anything other than their wages, then the Bolton defeat spelt it out in huge capital letters.
I’m sure many of us expected a performance of passion, pride and determination against Wolves, similar to that against the other, and relatively high flying Midland team, Birmingham, just a few weeks back. Of course I knew that Wolves would fight for their lives but nevertheless I anticipated we would gain a narrow victory as anything less was cause for serious concern that we could well fill one of those hotly disputed three relegation places.
Any pride, determination and passion we saw on Tuesday were solely in the bellies of Wolves. They made sure that from the off they were first to every contested ball, that they won practically every aerial contest, and when they were offered or made chances to shoot they showed a clinical efficiency that belied their lowly position.
There are sometimes defeats that leave you feeling hard done by, where the efforts and skill the players have shown have failed to gain the reward they deserve, for example our performance at home to Liverpool back in September, or even at home to Chelsea in December where three points would not have flattered us. But I can’t take anything away from Wolves. They got what they entirely deserved. They were incredibly well organised, maintained their fighting spirit for 90 minutes, and though the stats will show they gave away a lot of free kicks, they did not resort to dirty tactics or niggling time-wasting games. They just set out to do the job in hand and they won it by showing desire and self-belief and a sense of the occasion.
Instead of laying siege to Wolves from the start we were dangerous only for two brief periods. First, there were the couple of minutes just before half-time when Scott Parker, perhaps the only Hammer who can look back with any self-respect on is performance, was desperately unlucky to see a well worked opportunity bounce back of the post and see his follow up effort held on the line. Second, we looked threatening for a few minutes just after Wolves go their third and were taking a well earned mental breather. In that period Diamanti came close on a couple of occasion. That neither Cole or McCarthy were to be found among our more threatening moments spoke volumes for their anonymity and also reflected the poor service they received from a midfield where Parker alone stood out, while the rest were below par and when they did move the ball around were so pedestrian, predictable and ineffective.
At least I won’t be foolish enough to have the same level of expectations today.
So how did we get so deeply in the brown stuff this year, after such a promising campaign last year? Well, back in October I wrote about our rueful wasted opportunity that presented itself in the game against Fulham at home, when we were a goal to the good and they were down to 10 men for the second half, but we only managed to scrape a last gasp draw:
“I would love to be wrong but I have a sneaking feeling that we will look back on that game at the end of the season as one we should have secured maximum points from to save us.”
Pretty much the same script could be applied to our visits to Hull and Sunderland where we threw away two goal and extra player advantages.
But if there was one moment that influenced our season more than any other, and which could not have been underlined more clearly than through Wolves’ crucial first gifted goal the other night, it was back in August when we inexplicably sold our best defender, James Collins, to a team challenging for the Champions League. As well as depriving ourselves of a dogged, reliable and skilful player we only took 5 mil for him. Peanuts. Although even if we sold him for 15 million it still wouldn’t have made up for the hole it left in our defence and the over-reliance it implied we would have to make on a talented but very young and inexperienced James Tomkins.
I won’t continue down this road because when you start to think of the talent we have let out of the gates of Upton Park it can only make you weep. But watching the teams that are fighting at the moment and making enough goal-scoring chances to pick up valuable points did set me thinking about how much we miss a player called Trevor. Of course if you mention Trevor then it is automatically assumed you mean the maestro Brooking, and it is unlikely you mean “ooh-Trevor Morley” but there was another clever Trevor plying his trade here a few years ago. We bought him for 1.5 million and he was one of my all-time favourite Hammers – Trevor Sinclair.
He was an exciting player, who had a telepathic understanding with Di Canio and Joe Cole. He was willing to try the unconventional, such as overhead kicks – but could pull it off, he was a great crosser of the ball, had a good shot, was clever with both feet, and not only carved out so many goal scoring opportunities for others but would do it himself. There are moments when I watch Junior Stan and I see a Trevor Sinclair Mark 2 – I’d love that to come true, because that is precisely the player and style of play we need in the final seven games. Though after he came on Tuesday, he hardly touched the ball.
A few weeks ago there were perhaps 8 teams with a realistic chance of being relegated. Most pundits now reckon that apart from Portsmouth, who are effectively gone it will be any two from Hull, Burnley, wolves and us. Bolton and Sunderland have pulled together enough decent results lately to apparently lift themselves away from danger, and some might believe the same about Wigan. I happen to believe that Bolton are not out of the woods yet and Wigan certainly aren’t despite their recent successive home wins. They have a terrible goal difference and if we can keep within three points of them we have the opportunity to turn the position to our advantage when we entertain them here on April 24th.
So today it is Stoke who stand in the way of us breathing more easily. They have to be one of the least lovable teams in the league. Their manager looks and sounds like a thug and he transmits that “philosophy” to his team. We can never put out our best team because they are always injured (or in “dyer straits” as it is colloquially known). Stoke can never put out their best team because there is always someone suspended. They get players sent off more regularly than I go to the toilet. Their manager/thug thinks it is a case of poor refereeing (by every ref every week). Now I’m the last person to defend the men in black who are clearly sponsored by Specsavers, but most of their decisions against Stoke players have been spot on and there are a few more who have got off lightly despite their brutal tactics. Tony Pulis’s puerile moans on this are a bit like joy-riders complaining that pedestrians really ought to be a bit more careful of passing traffic. Bollocks.
The last cultured player I can remember playing for Stoke was George Eastham (not to be confused with my mate George from East Ham who couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a banjo – no that he would want to mind you, he’s rather fussy about his banjo)
Meanwhile the pressure has been growing on our manager. After defeats at Chelsea and Arsenal the clamour on “West Ham fan’s” websites was reaching fever pitch with the demand to dump Zola. And by the time I write this he may well have been dumped by the new bosses or given up the ghost himself.
I’ve been disappointed by some of his team selections – to persist in putting Kovac in the team when you have most of your best players available is pretty unforgivable, but it would be disastrous to change the management at this late stage. Our fate will not be decided by who is in charge for these games but effectively by what results Hull, Burnley, Wigan and Wolves manage over the next few weeks. It is partly in our own hands but also in theirs. Quite soon Hull and Burnley have to play each other, and while we pray they will cancel each other out, the odds have to be on one of them getting a three points boost to lift themselves closer to us if they haven’t caught us already.
Should he survive to the end of the campaign I don’t suppose Gilbert and Sullivan will show Zola much sympathy at the end of this gruelling season and it will be our loss if he is forced out or made to feel he should quit.
Clearly Zola is still learning the ropes but in the long run, given proper support, he can deliver us not only the football we want to see but also the achievement it will merit. If ever there is a manager who will want to learn from his mistakes and make next season a much happier and more successful one all round it will be our little Italian job.
A final word to say thanks and goodbye to another of my Hammers heroes – Ludo Miklosko. What a brilliant servant of our club. I hope he wasn’t under pressure to go but made his own choice. Most of all I will remember the day he almost single handily prevented Man U from winning at Upton Park the day that Blackburn snatched the league title. You were a big man with even bigger hands. Good luck for the future, Ludo
Well today I’m going for 2-0 but don’t know if that is goals scored by the Hammers or red cards handed to Stoke! COYI!!!!
I can’t believe that I hadn’t seen it coming. All the warning signs were there in our feeble performances against the big three. And if I still hadn’t cottoned on to how low morale and expectations had fallen, and how low were the levels of interest among the players of playing for anything other than their wages, then the Bolton defeat spelt it out in huge capital letters.
I’m sure many of us expected a performance of passion, pride and determination against Wolves, similar to that against the other, and relatively high flying Midland team, Birmingham, just a few weeks back. Of course I knew that Wolves would fight for their lives but nevertheless I anticipated we would gain a narrow victory as anything less was cause for serious concern that we could well fill one of those hotly disputed three relegation places.
Any pride, determination and passion we saw on Tuesday were solely in the bellies of Wolves. They made sure that from the off they were first to every contested ball, that they won practically every aerial contest, and when they were offered or made chances to shoot they showed a clinical efficiency that belied their lowly position.
There are sometimes defeats that leave you feeling hard done by, where the efforts and skill the players have shown have failed to gain the reward they deserve, for example our performance at home to Liverpool back in September, or even at home to Chelsea in December where three points would not have flattered us. But I can’t take anything away from Wolves. They got what they entirely deserved. They were incredibly well organised, maintained their fighting spirit for 90 minutes, and though the stats will show they gave away a lot of free kicks, they did not resort to dirty tactics or niggling time-wasting games. They just set out to do the job in hand and they won it by showing desire and self-belief and a sense of the occasion.
Instead of laying siege to Wolves from the start we were dangerous only for two brief periods. First, there were the couple of minutes just before half-time when Scott Parker, perhaps the only Hammer who can look back with any self-respect on is performance, was desperately unlucky to see a well worked opportunity bounce back of the post and see his follow up effort held on the line. Second, we looked threatening for a few minutes just after Wolves go their third and were taking a well earned mental breather. In that period Diamanti came close on a couple of occasion. That neither Cole or McCarthy were to be found among our more threatening moments spoke volumes for their anonymity and also reflected the poor service they received from a midfield where Parker alone stood out, while the rest were below par and when they did move the ball around were so pedestrian, predictable and ineffective.
At least I won’t be foolish enough to have the same level of expectations today.
So how did we get so deeply in the brown stuff this year, after such a promising campaign last year? Well, back in October I wrote about our rueful wasted opportunity that presented itself in the game against Fulham at home, when we were a goal to the good and they were down to 10 men for the second half, but we only managed to scrape a last gasp draw:
“I would love to be wrong but I have a sneaking feeling that we will look back on that game at the end of the season as one we should have secured maximum points from to save us.”
Pretty much the same script could be applied to our visits to Hull and Sunderland where we threw away two goal and extra player advantages.
But if there was one moment that influenced our season more than any other, and which could not have been underlined more clearly than through Wolves’ crucial first gifted goal the other night, it was back in August when we inexplicably sold our best defender, James Collins, to a team challenging for the Champions League. As well as depriving ourselves of a dogged, reliable and skilful player we only took 5 mil for him. Peanuts. Although even if we sold him for 15 million it still wouldn’t have made up for the hole it left in our defence and the over-reliance it implied we would have to make on a talented but very young and inexperienced James Tomkins.
I won’t continue down this road because when you start to think of the talent we have let out of the gates of Upton Park it can only make you weep. But watching the teams that are fighting at the moment and making enough goal-scoring chances to pick up valuable points did set me thinking about how much we miss a player called Trevor. Of course if you mention Trevor then it is automatically assumed you mean the maestro Brooking, and it is unlikely you mean “ooh-Trevor Morley” but there was another clever Trevor plying his trade here a few years ago. We bought him for 1.5 million and he was one of my all-time favourite Hammers – Trevor Sinclair.
He was an exciting player, who had a telepathic understanding with Di Canio and Joe Cole. He was willing to try the unconventional, such as overhead kicks – but could pull it off, he was a great crosser of the ball, had a good shot, was clever with both feet, and not only carved out so many goal scoring opportunities for others but would do it himself. There are moments when I watch Junior Stan and I see a Trevor Sinclair Mark 2 – I’d love that to come true, because that is precisely the player and style of play we need in the final seven games. Though after he came on Tuesday, he hardly touched the ball.
A few weeks ago there were perhaps 8 teams with a realistic chance of being relegated. Most pundits now reckon that apart from Portsmouth, who are effectively gone it will be any two from Hull, Burnley, wolves and us. Bolton and Sunderland have pulled together enough decent results lately to apparently lift themselves away from danger, and some might believe the same about Wigan. I happen to believe that Bolton are not out of the woods yet and Wigan certainly aren’t despite their recent successive home wins. They have a terrible goal difference and if we can keep within three points of them we have the opportunity to turn the position to our advantage when we entertain them here on April 24th.
So today it is Stoke who stand in the way of us breathing more easily. They have to be one of the least lovable teams in the league. Their manager looks and sounds like a thug and he transmits that “philosophy” to his team. We can never put out our best team because they are always injured (or in “dyer straits” as it is colloquially known). Stoke can never put out their best team because there is always someone suspended. They get players sent off more regularly than I go to the toilet. Their manager/thug thinks it is a case of poor refereeing (by every ref every week). Now I’m the last person to defend the men in black who are clearly sponsored by Specsavers, but most of their decisions against Stoke players have been spot on and there are a few more who have got off lightly despite their brutal tactics. Tony Pulis’s puerile moans on this are a bit like joy-riders complaining that pedestrians really ought to be a bit more careful of passing traffic. Bollocks.
The last cultured player I can remember playing for Stoke was George Eastham (not to be confused with my mate George from East Ham who couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a banjo – no that he would want to mind you, he’s rather fussy about his banjo)
Meanwhile the pressure has been growing on our manager. After defeats at Chelsea and Arsenal the clamour on “West Ham fan’s” websites was reaching fever pitch with the demand to dump Zola. And by the time I write this he may well have been dumped by the new bosses or given up the ghost himself.
I’ve been disappointed by some of his team selections – to persist in putting Kovac in the team when you have most of your best players available is pretty unforgivable, but it would be disastrous to change the management at this late stage. Our fate will not be decided by who is in charge for these games but effectively by what results Hull, Burnley, Wigan and Wolves manage over the next few weeks. It is partly in our own hands but also in theirs. Quite soon Hull and Burnley have to play each other, and while we pray they will cancel each other out, the odds have to be on one of them getting a three points boost to lift themselves closer to us if they haven’t caught us already.
Should he survive to the end of the campaign I don’t suppose Gilbert and Sullivan will show Zola much sympathy at the end of this gruelling season and it will be our loss if he is forced out or made to feel he should quit.
Clearly Zola is still learning the ropes but in the long run, given proper support, he can deliver us not only the football we want to see but also the achievement it will merit. If ever there is a manager who will want to learn from his mistakes and make next season a much happier and more successful one all round it will be our little Italian job.
A final word to say thanks and goodbye to another of my Hammers heroes – Ludo Miklosko. What a brilliant servant of our club. I hope he wasn’t under pressure to go but made his own choice. Most of all I will remember the day he almost single handily prevented Man U from winning at Upton Park the day that Blackburn snatched the league title. You were a big man with even bigger hands. Good luck for the future, Ludo
Well today I’m going for 2-0 but don’t know if that is goals scored by the Hammers or red cards handed to Stoke! COYI!!!!
Monday 22 March 2010
Interview with the one and only Billy Bragg
OLAS 481, March 22nd 2010
Billy, it’s a great pleasure to talk to you for OLAS. We know some of your music heroes and legends - like Woodie Guthrie, the Rolling Stones, and the Faces, but who have been your West Ham legends?
I guess I’m pretty old school. My American company, which gathers in the revenue from my gigs out there, is called Moore, Hurst & Peters, Inc. The Yanks have no idea of the significance, but the guy who oversees my US record contracts, ex-pat, massive Hammers fan, gets a kick out of it.
Growing up in Barking what part did West Ham play in your life?
My first football memory is seeing them bring the FA Cup up the Barking Road in 1964. Next year they won the European Cup Winners Cup and the year after that, they won the World Cup. What other club can claim such a run?
What about now? How attached do you feel to West Ham the football club, and Barking the place?
I’m very attached to Barking. My family still live in the house I grew up in and I’m often over there. By contrast, it’s been a long time since I was last at Upton Park, but being a Hammer is a cross that I willingly bear.
I know that you are currently very concerned about Barking for reasons other than football - what are those concerns?
I am worried what might happen to the town if the BNP are successful in the coming elections. Nick Griffin, their leader is standing for MP and the party are hoping to win a majority on Barking & Dagenham Council.
Why have people in a traditional Labour-voting working class area been turning to the BNP?
I think that part of the problem has been that New Labour has taken the working class vote for granted, believing that places like Barking & Dagenham will always vote for their candidates, no matter what. New Labour’s strategy for the past 13 years has been to target ‘Middle England’ at the expense of its traditional heartlands. When you couple that to the general distrust of politicians that has arisen because of the expenses scandal, then people begin to feel betrayed.
In the 1930s Oswald Mosley built up support among East Londoners, who felt neglected, by blaming all their problems on an immigrant minority who were just as poor. Is something similar happening in Barking & Dagenham?
Something very similar. The BNP have simplistic answers to complex problems. When I left school, Fords employed 35,000 making cars in the area. Those jobs are gone now and nothing has yet come to take their place. House prices in the borough are the lowest in London. Can the BNP bring back the jobs and make the house prices rise to levels comparable with Ilford and Romford? If the BNP were to win control of the local council with its £250m budget, the damage they could inflict on the town would be enormous. Teachers and doctors would leave the borough, prospective business start-ups would look elsewhere, and house prices would fall even further.
What is your message for West Ham fans who can vote in Barking/Dagenham?
Nick Griffin was elected as an MEP in the North West Region last year, although his personal vote went down. Why? Because people in that region didn’t bother to get out and vote. The BNP can be stopped, but only if people are willing to go out and vote against them.
West Ham were among the first teams to have black players in their team – John Charles in the 1960s, Clyde Best and Ade Coker in the 1970s – and football unites communities. How can fans square that with support for a racist party?
I don’t think that they can. Our team were pioneers of fielding great foreign players. Even our manager is an economic migrant!
The BNP boast of being proud of their country but how supportive can they be of England’s national football team which is so multi-racial?
The BNP hate the idea of a multi-racial England team because it reflects our society as it actually is – united, no matter what colour we are. Anyway, it would be impossible for the BNP to field a team that matched their ideals - they would all want to play on the far right wing.
I know you are involved in a new project about identity– a drama called Pressure Drop. Can you tell us a bit about that
It’s a play about how racism can not only pit communities against one another, but families as well. I’m supplying the songs. We didn’t realise when we were putting it together that the run would coincide with the election, nor that Nick Griffin would be standing in Barking.
It is going to be a testing time in May both for West Ham fans and for local campaigners against the BNP. What results are you hoping for and how can we bring those results about?
The stakes are pretty high. I’d like to see the BNP soundly defeated in Barking & Dagenham and the Hammers pull clear of the bottom six. How can we do that? Solid team-work, a belief that we work better as a community and as a team when we work together.
Pressure Drop - a drama of passion and prejudice about English identity, written by Mick Gordon with songs written for the play and performed live by Billy Bragg and his band – will run at the Wellcome Collection on Euston Road most nights between 19th April and 12th May. Tickets are £20/£15. Phone 0844 412 4318 or visit:
http://www.wellcomecollection.org/whats-on/the-identity-project/play-pressure-drop/tickets.aspx
Billy, it’s a great pleasure to talk to you for OLAS. We know some of your music heroes and legends - like Woodie Guthrie, the Rolling Stones, and the Faces, but who have been your West Ham legends?
I guess I’m pretty old school. My American company, which gathers in the revenue from my gigs out there, is called Moore, Hurst & Peters, Inc. The Yanks have no idea of the significance, but the guy who oversees my US record contracts, ex-pat, massive Hammers fan, gets a kick out of it.
Growing up in Barking what part did West Ham play in your life?
My first football memory is seeing them bring the FA Cup up the Barking Road in 1964. Next year they won the European Cup Winners Cup and the year after that, they won the World Cup. What other club can claim such a run?
What about now? How attached do you feel to West Ham the football club, and Barking the place?
I’m very attached to Barking. My family still live in the house I grew up in and I’m often over there. By contrast, it’s been a long time since I was last at Upton Park, but being a Hammer is a cross that I willingly bear.
I know that you are currently very concerned about Barking for reasons other than football - what are those concerns?
I am worried what might happen to the town if the BNP are successful in the coming elections. Nick Griffin, their leader is standing for MP and the party are hoping to win a majority on Barking & Dagenham Council.
Why have people in a traditional Labour-voting working class area been turning to the BNP?
I think that part of the problem has been that New Labour has taken the working class vote for granted, believing that places like Barking & Dagenham will always vote for their candidates, no matter what. New Labour’s strategy for the past 13 years has been to target ‘Middle England’ at the expense of its traditional heartlands. When you couple that to the general distrust of politicians that has arisen because of the expenses scandal, then people begin to feel betrayed.
In the 1930s Oswald Mosley built up support among East Londoners, who felt neglected, by blaming all their problems on an immigrant minority who were just as poor. Is something similar happening in Barking & Dagenham?
Something very similar. The BNP have simplistic answers to complex problems. When I left school, Fords employed 35,000 making cars in the area. Those jobs are gone now and nothing has yet come to take their place. House prices in the borough are the lowest in London. Can the BNP bring back the jobs and make the house prices rise to levels comparable with Ilford and Romford? If the BNP were to win control of the local council with its £250m budget, the damage they could inflict on the town would be enormous. Teachers and doctors would leave the borough, prospective business start-ups would look elsewhere, and house prices would fall even further.
What is your message for West Ham fans who can vote in Barking/Dagenham?
Nick Griffin was elected as an MEP in the North West Region last year, although his personal vote went down. Why? Because people in that region didn’t bother to get out and vote. The BNP can be stopped, but only if people are willing to go out and vote against them.
West Ham were among the first teams to have black players in their team – John Charles in the 1960s, Clyde Best and Ade Coker in the 1970s – and football unites communities. How can fans square that with support for a racist party?
I don’t think that they can. Our team were pioneers of fielding great foreign players. Even our manager is an economic migrant!
The BNP boast of being proud of their country but how supportive can they be of England’s national football team which is so multi-racial?
The BNP hate the idea of a multi-racial England team because it reflects our society as it actually is – united, no matter what colour we are. Anyway, it would be impossible for the BNP to field a team that matched their ideals - they would all want to play on the far right wing.
I know you are involved in a new project about identity– a drama called Pressure Drop. Can you tell us a bit about that
It’s a play about how racism can not only pit communities against one another, but families as well. I’m supplying the songs. We didn’t realise when we were putting it together that the run would coincide with the election, nor that Nick Griffin would be standing in Barking.
It is going to be a testing time in May both for West Ham fans and for local campaigners against the BNP. What results are you hoping for and how can we bring those results about?
The stakes are pretty high. I’d like to see the BNP soundly defeated in Barking & Dagenham and the Hammers pull clear of the bottom six. How can we do that? Solid team-work, a belief that we work better as a community and as a team when we work together.
Pressure Drop - a drama of passion and prejudice about English identity, written by Mick Gordon with songs written for the play and performed live by Billy Bragg and his band – will run at the Wellcome Collection on Euston Road most nights between 19th April and 12th May. Tickets are £20/£15. Phone 0844 412 4318 or visit:
http://www.wellcomecollection.org/whats-on/the-identity-project/play-pressure-drop/tickets.aspx
Superannuated twats
OLAS 480, March 6th 2010
In the age of glory-hunters when those with no previous tradition of following football suddenly become “fans”, as the money swishing round gives football a bit more cache amongst the parasitic classes than it once had, it is not surprising that the new fans follow the big teams – Man U, Chelsea or Arsenal rather than Crewe, Darlington or Barnet. But it can make you feel that bit more marginalised as a West Ham supporter, that bit more of a minority.
I remember when you would meet other Hammers fans in the most unlikely contexts far from the Upton Park area. West Ham had a certain allure, a style, a kind of glamour about them that attracted genuine support and admiration from far afield. These days when you wear your claret and blue scarf, you are more likely to met with a sneer and disdain, or even worse, as happened to me on an East London bound tube, for Chrissakes, the other day, when I was asked, “Are you a Villa fan too?” – to which the correct reply is “No I’m fucking not you inbred Crossroads Motel arsehole.”
Reading the papers lately it seems that without knowing it I have become part of another minority too – that tiny group pf people who have not had sex with Ashley Cole, John Terry or Tiger Woods. Have I become so old and wrinkly and undesirable? Time was when football stars were known for their physical prowess on the pitch, and when a “player” meant a skilful footballer rather than a serial shagger, but these days it’s all about their positional play in the bedroom. Call me old-fashioned but I’ve always preferred to be recognised for what I can do on a football pitch than for being a sex symbol, but maybe that’s just a personal preference. All I know is that Ron Greenwood wouldn’t have put up with it…
Eavesdropping on conversations about Cole and Terry, and Tiger and his favourite wood, has been interesting and entertaining if not especially enlightening. From the wry observation “Well, whovever expected footballers to be paragons of virtue?” through to a disdainful “well, what do you expect, that’s typical” attitude, it seems that, out there, the majority opinion on today’s footballers as human beings is pretty damn low.
In a way it is easy for footballers as a whole to be tainted by the actions of the Terrys and the Coles, but actually when you consider the interviews that we see in OLAS week in and week out – where most of the players come over as pretty decent guys - you realise that they are being seriously let down by a few superannuated twats who are an absolute dream for second rate scrotes who scribble the “sports” pages in the dailies.
I can’t help noticing, though, that there haven’t been any recent football sex scandals involving West Ham players. Are we too depressed to get up to no good? Or is it that our form on the road is so atrocious that the mere thought of “playing away” feels our heroes with dread and paralyses them?
As for that money swishing around football, the developing situation at Portsmouth is a serious wake up call to all who profess to care for the game. Like most areas of life where money get injected in, whether it is business, the health service or education, overseas “aid” or premier league football clubs, if you really want to understand what is happening in terms of motivations, winners and losers, you’ve got to look through the right end of the telescope. Don’t focus on where the money goes in, and don’t believe any of the spin by those responsible for injecting money in, but focus on where it comes out again and ask who the real beneficiaries are. I know this only too well from the education sphere I work in. Governments may tell you how much they prioritise education and how much more cash they have put in than previous administrations, but at the end of the day, schools are struggling for resources, our classrooms are too crowded, we don’t have enough qualified and motivated teachers, but the empires around education – the construction industry, publishers of exam-related materials, the inspection services - have been growing mighty fat on their riches.
Though if you want a silver lining for the crisis in football finances, you only have to look at clubs in trouble like ourselves, Portsmouth, Bournemouth and Southampton to see a common denominator – called Harry – or rather ‘arrry - so Spurs fans riding high on their temporary “success” this season ought to be seriously getting the willies! Your day will come.
Well it was a decent enough weekend for West Ham, wasn’t it? When things are going form bad to worse my instant reaction usually is to want to be pro-active to find a way to change it, but sometimes the most sound advice when you are in trouble is ‘do nothing, wait and see”. which is what we were forced to do last weekend as our match with Man U was brought forward, leaving the teams around us to play catch up. We managed to not concede much ground at all, with Wigan, Wolves and Burnley all losing and Sunderland huffing and puffing to a 0-0 draw to make it 14 games since they last won. There is usually a premiership team that starts the season well and then descends into the drop zone – and by a quirk of geography they are usually from the North East. Sunderland have taken on that mantle this year. Good on you - or howay the lads.
So although our 3-0 collapse at Man U, after what sounded like a spirited first half performance, was a disappointing follow up to two very sound home wins, we remain well placed to pull away from the teams below us. With Bolton, Wolves, Wigan and Sunderland all due at Upton Park over the next 8 weeks it really is even more in our own hands than Tiger’s wood. And without being in any way complacent I think most of us Hammers are beginning must be feeling much more confident than we did a few weeks ago. And although we haven’t won away from home since the first day of the season, we have at least a couple of team in the mix who have managed to get to March without winning away even once.
I would fee even more confident if only Bolton weren’t such a bogey team for us. We certainly do struggle against them, but player for player there is no reason why we should really. And in Zola and Clarke we surely have the means to provide more effective managerial input than Bolton can get from neanderthal Fat Sam – as far as I recall the first caveman to actually become a premier league manager (though a few have played in the premiership)
On the subject of managerial ineptitude from great northern bastards, we really ought to record some big thanks to Phil Brown for his magnificent contribution to Hull’s collapse at Upton Park. To use all your subs with 25 minutes to go and when you are already down to 10 men was suicidal. Ok, we have not been at our best when facing 10-man teams, but when Hull were reduced to 9 players after further injury, there really was no way back for them. And Faubert’s smashing third goal emphasised the point. As we saw last weekend, in their “see how many ex-West ham players can score” debacle against Man City ,even Chelsea are pretty ineffective with 9 players. Nice to see an assist by Joey Cole though.
Well we’ve got to fancy our chances today given our home league form since we lost to Notlob in mid-December. We’ve had 5 games at Upton Park in that period – won three of them, drawn the other two, scored 8 goals and only let in one – a dubious penalty by Big Fat Frank. Upton Park has become something of a fortress again and we – the crowd – have played our part. Given that Bolton, like ourselves, are also down there in the brown messy stuff, the stakes could not be higher. And we could really do with the win not just to keep them swilling around in the crap, but also to give us that bit of confidence before our away games at Chelski and Arse.
So, West Ham – you know what you’ve got to do. It’s time to send Fat Sam and his crew packing, and it’s high time I got on the scoresheet with a correct score bet this season. I’ll put my money on 2-1, though I’m willing to settle for 4-1 if necessary.
Enjoy the game! COYI!!!
In the age of glory-hunters when those with no previous tradition of following football suddenly become “fans”, as the money swishing round gives football a bit more cache amongst the parasitic classes than it once had, it is not surprising that the new fans follow the big teams – Man U, Chelsea or Arsenal rather than Crewe, Darlington or Barnet. But it can make you feel that bit more marginalised as a West Ham supporter, that bit more of a minority.
I remember when you would meet other Hammers fans in the most unlikely contexts far from the Upton Park area. West Ham had a certain allure, a style, a kind of glamour about them that attracted genuine support and admiration from far afield. These days when you wear your claret and blue scarf, you are more likely to met with a sneer and disdain, or even worse, as happened to me on an East London bound tube, for Chrissakes, the other day, when I was asked, “Are you a Villa fan too?” – to which the correct reply is “No I’m fucking not you inbred Crossroads Motel arsehole.”
Reading the papers lately it seems that without knowing it I have become part of another minority too – that tiny group pf people who have not had sex with Ashley Cole, John Terry or Tiger Woods. Have I become so old and wrinkly and undesirable? Time was when football stars were known for their physical prowess on the pitch, and when a “player” meant a skilful footballer rather than a serial shagger, but these days it’s all about their positional play in the bedroom. Call me old-fashioned but I’ve always preferred to be recognised for what I can do on a football pitch than for being a sex symbol, but maybe that’s just a personal preference. All I know is that Ron Greenwood wouldn’t have put up with it…
Eavesdropping on conversations about Cole and Terry, and Tiger and his favourite wood, has been interesting and entertaining if not especially enlightening. From the wry observation “Well, whovever expected footballers to be paragons of virtue?” through to a disdainful “well, what do you expect, that’s typical” attitude, it seems that, out there, the majority opinion on today’s footballers as human beings is pretty damn low.
In a way it is easy for footballers as a whole to be tainted by the actions of the Terrys and the Coles, but actually when you consider the interviews that we see in OLAS week in and week out – where most of the players come over as pretty decent guys - you realise that they are being seriously let down by a few superannuated twats who are an absolute dream for second rate scrotes who scribble the “sports” pages in the dailies.
I can’t help noticing, though, that there haven’t been any recent football sex scandals involving West Ham players. Are we too depressed to get up to no good? Or is it that our form on the road is so atrocious that the mere thought of “playing away” feels our heroes with dread and paralyses them?
As for that money swishing around football, the developing situation at Portsmouth is a serious wake up call to all who profess to care for the game. Like most areas of life where money get injected in, whether it is business, the health service or education, overseas “aid” or premier league football clubs, if you really want to understand what is happening in terms of motivations, winners and losers, you’ve got to look through the right end of the telescope. Don’t focus on where the money goes in, and don’t believe any of the spin by those responsible for injecting money in, but focus on where it comes out again and ask who the real beneficiaries are. I know this only too well from the education sphere I work in. Governments may tell you how much they prioritise education and how much more cash they have put in than previous administrations, but at the end of the day, schools are struggling for resources, our classrooms are too crowded, we don’t have enough qualified and motivated teachers, but the empires around education – the construction industry, publishers of exam-related materials, the inspection services - have been growing mighty fat on their riches.
Though if you want a silver lining for the crisis in football finances, you only have to look at clubs in trouble like ourselves, Portsmouth, Bournemouth and Southampton to see a common denominator – called Harry – or rather ‘arrry - so Spurs fans riding high on their temporary “success” this season ought to be seriously getting the willies! Your day will come.
Well it was a decent enough weekend for West Ham, wasn’t it? When things are going form bad to worse my instant reaction usually is to want to be pro-active to find a way to change it, but sometimes the most sound advice when you are in trouble is ‘do nothing, wait and see”. which is what we were forced to do last weekend as our match with Man U was brought forward, leaving the teams around us to play catch up. We managed to not concede much ground at all, with Wigan, Wolves and Burnley all losing and Sunderland huffing and puffing to a 0-0 draw to make it 14 games since they last won. There is usually a premiership team that starts the season well and then descends into the drop zone – and by a quirk of geography they are usually from the North East. Sunderland have taken on that mantle this year. Good on you - or howay the lads.
So although our 3-0 collapse at Man U, after what sounded like a spirited first half performance, was a disappointing follow up to two very sound home wins, we remain well placed to pull away from the teams below us. With Bolton, Wolves, Wigan and Sunderland all due at Upton Park over the next 8 weeks it really is even more in our own hands than Tiger’s wood. And without being in any way complacent I think most of us Hammers are beginning must be feeling much more confident than we did a few weeks ago. And although we haven’t won away from home since the first day of the season, we have at least a couple of team in the mix who have managed to get to March without winning away even once.
I would fee even more confident if only Bolton weren’t such a bogey team for us. We certainly do struggle against them, but player for player there is no reason why we should really. And in Zola and Clarke we surely have the means to provide more effective managerial input than Bolton can get from neanderthal Fat Sam – as far as I recall the first caveman to actually become a premier league manager (though a few have played in the premiership)
On the subject of managerial ineptitude from great northern bastards, we really ought to record some big thanks to Phil Brown for his magnificent contribution to Hull’s collapse at Upton Park. To use all your subs with 25 minutes to go and when you are already down to 10 men was suicidal. Ok, we have not been at our best when facing 10-man teams, but when Hull were reduced to 9 players after further injury, there really was no way back for them. And Faubert’s smashing third goal emphasised the point. As we saw last weekend, in their “see how many ex-West ham players can score” debacle against Man City ,even Chelsea are pretty ineffective with 9 players. Nice to see an assist by Joey Cole though.
Well we’ve got to fancy our chances today given our home league form since we lost to Notlob in mid-December. We’ve had 5 games at Upton Park in that period – won three of them, drawn the other two, scored 8 goals and only let in one – a dubious penalty by Big Fat Frank. Upton Park has become something of a fortress again and we – the crowd – have played our part. Given that Bolton, like ourselves, are also down there in the brown messy stuff, the stakes could not be higher. And we could really do with the win not just to keep them swilling around in the crap, but also to give us that bit of confidence before our away games at Chelski and Arse.
So, West Ham – you know what you’ve got to do. It’s time to send Fat Sam and his crew packing, and it’s high time I got on the scoresheet with a correct score bet this season. I’ll put my money on 2-1, though I’m willing to settle for 4-1 if necessary.
Enjoy the game! COYI!!!
Sweat and blood
OLAS 479, February 20th 2010
Somewhere in the house I’ve got a copy of the Thoughts of Chairman Mao knocking around. This “Little Red Book” as it came to be known, sold millions and millions of copies across the world. Some of the quotes in it are very sound and surprisingly subtle. Others are totally banal and laughable and, although it was a pretty strange thing for young people to do to get their kicks, back in the 70s, me and a couple of mates used to play this game of making up quotes that could have been in it and the others had to guess whether they were genuine or not. Anyhow, the numbers of those who bought a copy far exceeded the numbers of those pledging any allegiance to Mao’s ideas. Many people were interested in what Mao Tse Tung had to say about the problems of the day. Somehow I don’t think there is going to be quite the same market for the “Thoughts of Chairman Sullivan”.
To be frank, his post-hoc justification for his antics before the Birmingham game absolutely stinks. Far from seeking to galvanise the team through “reverse psychology” this was a pre-meditated action as part of his business strategy conducted in his typically blunt manner. He thinks West Ham will be more successful under a different manager so he tried to undermine Zola and make him walk. Chairman Sullivan was also giving early notice to other clubs that, although one transfer window has just closed, they can start looking in the West Ham shop window today for their summer additions. I fully expect Sullivan and Gold to try their hardest to force out some of our higher earners next summer, even if these players feel inclined to stay, none of which bodes that well for next season even if we do stay up.
Forget the “competing for the Champions League in seven years” bullshit. Their actual plan is much less ambitious for the club, though possibly a bit more ambitious as far as their own pockets are concerned. In the period during which they are genuinely aiming to get the club back on a sound financial footing I don’t believe they are setting their sights much above hovering between mid table and the drop zone on a young, thin, cheap squad. They want to cut the wage bill and sell some of our big current assets, as they look for a host of ways that they can claw back their initial outlay and profit from the opportunities afforded by a fantastically loyal fan base and the valuable land that Upton Park sits on.
Should we survive this season in the premiership – a season in which we as fans have really suffered because of the mismanagement at the highest levels of the club – we surely deserve a bit more serious ambition for the club and the team to be shown.
While Matty Upson is reaching the point in his career where we will perhaps only have the summer to get a decent price for him, and Rob Green might come to be seen in a similar light, this is certainly not the case with the likes of Carlton Cole, Scott Parker, Jack Collison and others that the new owners would love to place in that shop window. But our new owners are using the threat of cutting their wages to unsettle our players and encourage them to seek pastures new.
Any truly ambitious plan to transform West Ham into a club that can compete in the top half of the premiership has to be built around keeping our best players, ensuring that they are playing for us and not for rival teams during their peak years, while using their experience to bring on the younger emerging players. I have total confidence that we will continue to develop excellent youth players, but they need guidance and support from top class older players.
Of course we would like to think it is different at West Ham, but premier footballers inhabit a dog-eat-dog world where loyalty counts for nothing, and the desire to make massive amounts of cash before your premier legs fail you soon after your 30th birthday dominates their decision-making processes. If we have got an untypical and truly committed set of players who swim against that tide and genuinely love playing for this club and its fans, even at the expense of their material ambitions, that is something we are going to discover next summer.
The integrity and team spirit of the players, their commitment to the fans, and their desire to play for this particular manager, will be sorely tested at the end of the season. I suspect that Gilbert and Sullivan are actually a little worried that we may have an unusually loyal set of players here, which may be the reason they are trying to undermine Zola now. His friendliness, support and one-to-one rapport with the players, the personal loyalty and sentiment he shows to them, may, in the eyes of our owners, be seen to militate against taking hard-nosed business-based decisions.
The players response to Diamanti’s thumping free kick against Birmingham must have been galling for them. Instead of the celebrations focusing on the player who scored, they wrapped themselves around Zola. And Diamanti himself led the charge. The message was clear – they scored that goal for their manager whom they perceived was under unwarranted assault by the owners and they were standing shoulder to shoulder with him (well shoulder to head as he’s only a little fella). It was a very emotional moment for everyone in the ground.
The team performance as a whole against Birmingham was so uplifiting after the Burnley debacle. Every single player showed a determination to get the result that was needed against a team with one of the tightest defensive units in the league, and we were clearly aiming to win out through strength, skill and attacking flair, rather than sitting tight and hoping for a lucky break. Zola’s team selection was spot on. He took my advice (or coincidentally came to the same conclusions) that Noble and Collison both had to drop to the bench and sent out a team that had the right balance of strength, pace and creativity, Daimanti, Behrami and Faubert made sure we used the width of the pitch, Kovac gave one of his most assured performances to date, and though I find it hard to write, I have to admit that Spector did not put a foot wrong after he came on for injury–prone Rita. Birmingham arrived in confident mood and spread the ball about well, but in the end they were out-fought and out-thought.
Carlton Cole was declared man of the match with about 15 minutes to go. Interesting, as he had not won one ball in the air the whole game, but on the ground his improved close control and dominating presence made him so hard to pay against. Mido worked well with him on his home debut, continually finding good positions and opportunities although his final product lacked sharpness and was disappointing. Ilan showed nice touches when he came on – and what a relief it was to have quality options on the bench. This will surely make a difference as we enter the final third of the season and will need to deploy substitutes effectively to attempt to swing tough games in our favour.
Scott Parker had another storming game, always driving forward with tricky runs, and constantly looking to thread that clever pass through the defence. But the player who really caught the eye with a terrific performance has to be Faubert. He is finally justifying the fee West Ham paid for him and played a key role in the second goal taken so well by Carlton, that wrapped the game up. At the back Tomkins had a nervous first half but an excellent second. Upson seemed a little off the pace but the way the defence operated as a unit nullified any threat Birmingham posed.
If we can repeat this level of team performance today, without the evening atmosphere under the floodlights, we should emerge as confident winners. Hull have pulled off a couple of impressive and surprising results at home recently but they travel badly and their defence this season has been considerably less organised and resilient than Birmingham’s.
At this stage of the season we still have one big advantage over our closest rivals – our goal difference, which is effectively worth a point to us. We can expect that statistic to be challenged by our forthcoming visits to Chelsea, Arsenal, Manure and Liverpool and even if we fail to get a single point form these outings it is essential that we don’t allow ourselves to be tanked.
The team selection today should not be difficult for Zola. He must surely be tempted to start with the team that performed so admirably against Birmingham. The one possible change is that he might give Benni McCarthy the nod over Mido. I would be happy with that as I feel that Benni is more of a goal poacher but Mido is highly motivated and can be brought on as an impact sub if Benni fails to unlock Hull’s defence. Ilan ought to get some time on the pitch too when legs begin to tire.
Well, as Chairman Mao said (or did he?) “We must thoroughly clear away all ideas of winning easy victories through good luck, without hard and bitter struggle, without sweat and blood…give full play to our style of fighting – courage in battle, no fear of sacrifice, no fear of fatigue…and before we shoot we must show full awareness of where the goalposts stand.”
OK, the last bit was made up. Enjoy the game today. COYI!!!
Somewhere in the house I’ve got a copy of the Thoughts of Chairman Mao knocking around. This “Little Red Book” as it came to be known, sold millions and millions of copies across the world. Some of the quotes in it are very sound and surprisingly subtle. Others are totally banal and laughable and, although it was a pretty strange thing for young people to do to get their kicks, back in the 70s, me and a couple of mates used to play this game of making up quotes that could have been in it and the others had to guess whether they were genuine or not. Anyhow, the numbers of those who bought a copy far exceeded the numbers of those pledging any allegiance to Mao’s ideas. Many people were interested in what Mao Tse Tung had to say about the problems of the day. Somehow I don’t think there is going to be quite the same market for the “Thoughts of Chairman Sullivan”.
To be frank, his post-hoc justification for his antics before the Birmingham game absolutely stinks. Far from seeking to galvanise the team through “reverse psychology” this was a pre-meditated action as part of his business strategy conducted in his typically blunt manner. He thinks West Ham will be more successful under a different manager so he tried to undermine Zola and make him walk. Chairman Sullivan was also giving early notice to other clubs that, although one transfer window has just closed, they can start looking in the West Ham shop window today for their summer additions. I fully expect Sullivan and Gold to try their hardest to force out some of our higher earners next summer, even if these players feel inclined to stay, none of which bodes that well for next season even if we do stay up.
Forget the “competing for the Champions League in seven years” bullshit. Their actual plan is much less ambitious for the club, though possibly a bit more ambitious as far as their own pockets are concerned. In the period during which they are genuinely aiming to get the club back on a sound financial footing I don’t believe they are setting their sights much above hovering between mid table and the drop zone on a young, thin, cheap squad. They want to cut the wage bill and sell some of our big current assets, as they look for a host of ways that they can claw back their initial outlay and profit from the opportunities afforded by a fantastically loyal fan base and the valuable land that Upton Park sits on.
Should we survive this season in the premiership – a season in which we as fans have really suffered because of the mismanagement at the highest levels of the club – we surely deserve a bit more serious ambition for the club and the team to be shown.
While Matty Upson is reaching the point in his career where we will perhaps only have the summer to get a decent price for him, and Rob Green might come to be seen in a similar light, this is certainly not the case with the likes of Carlton Cole, Scott Parker, Jack Collison and others that the new owners would love to place in that shop window. But our new owners are using the threat of cutting their wages to unsettle our players and encourage them to seek pastures new.
Any truly ambitious plan to transform West Ham into a club that can compete in the top half of the premiership has to be built around keeping our best players, ensuring that they are playing for us and not for rival teams during their peak years, while using their experience to bring on the younger emerging players. I have total confidence that we will continue to develop excellent youth players, but they need guidance and support from top class older players.
Of course we would like to think it is different at West Ham, but premier footballers inhabit a dog-eat-dog world where loyalty counts for nothing, and the desire to make massive amounts of cash before your premier legs fail you soon after your 30th birthday dominates their decision-making processes. If we have got an untypical and truly committed set of players who swim against that tide and genuinely love playing for this club and its fans, even at the expense of their material ambitions, that is something we are going to discover next summer.
The integrity and team spirit of the players, their commitment to the fans, and their desire to play for this particular manager, will be sorely tested at the end of the season. I suspect that Gilbert and Sullivan are actually a little worried that we may have an unusually loyal set of players here, which may be the reason they are trying to undermine Zola now. His friendliness, support and one-to-one rapport with the players, the personal loyalty and sentiment he shows to them, may, in the eyes of our owners, be seen to militate against taking hard-nosed business-based decisions.
The players response to Diamanti’s thumping free kick against Birmingham must have been galling for them. Instead of the celebrations focusing on the player who scored, they wrapped themselves around Zola. And Diamanti himself led the charge. The message was clear – they scored that goal for their manager whom they perceived was under unwarranted assault by the owners and they were standing shoulder to shoulder with him (well shoulder to head as he’s only a little fella). It was a very emotional moment for everyone in the ground.
The team performance as a whole against Birmingham was so uplifiting after the Burnley debacle. Every single player showed a determination to get the result that was needed against a team with one of the tightest defensive units in the league, and we were clearly aiming to win out through strength, skill and attacking flair, rather than sitting tight and hoping for a lucky break. Zola’s team selection was spot on. He took my advice (or coincidentally came to the same conclusions) that Noble and Collison both had to drop to the bench and sent out a team that had the right balance of strength, pace and creativity, Daimanti, Behrami and Faubert made sure we used the width of the pitch, Kovac gave one of his most assured performances to date, and though I find it hard to write, I have to admit that Spector did not put a foot wrong after he came on for injury–prone Rita. Birmingham arrived in confident mood and spread the ball about well, but in the end they were out-fought and out-thought.
Carlton Cole was declared man of the match with about 15 minutes to go. Interesting, as he had not won one ball in the air the whole game, but on the ground his improved close control and dominating presence made him so hard to pay against. Mido worked well with him on his home debut, continually finding good positions and opportunities although his final product lacked sharpness and was disappointing. Ilan showed nice touches when he came on – and what a relief it was to have quality options on the bench. This will surely make a difference as we enter the final third of the season and will need to deploy substitutes effectively to attempt to swing tough games in our favour.
Scott Parker had another storming game, always driving forward with tricky runs, and constantly looking to thread that clever pass through the defence. But the player who really caught the eye with a terrific performance has to be Faubert. He is finally justifying the fee West Ham paid for him and played a key role in the second goal taken so well by Carlton, that wrapped the game up. At the back Tomkins had a nervous first half but an excellent second. Upson seemed a little off the pace but the way the defence operated as a unit nullified any threat Birmingham posed.
If we can repeat this level of team performance today, without the evening atmosphere under the floodlights, we should emerge as confident winners. Hull have pulled off a couple of impressive and surprising results at home recently but they travel badly and their defence this season has been considerably less organised and resilient than Birmingham’s.
At this stage of the season we still have one big advantage over our closest rivals – our goal difference, which is effectively worth a point to us. We can expect that statistic to be challenged by our forthcoming visits to Chelsea, Arsenal, Manure and Liverpool and even if we fail to get a single point form these outings it is essential that we don’t allow ourselves to be tanked.
The team selection today should not be difficult for Zola. He must surely be tempted to start with the team that performed so admirably against Birmingham. The one possible change is that he might give Benni McCarthy the nod over Mido. I would be happy with that as I feel that Benni is more of a goal poacher but Mido is highly motivated and can be brought on as an impact sub if Benni fails to unlock Hull’s defence. Ilan ought to get some time on the pitch too when legs begin to tire.
Well, as Chairman Mao said (or did he?) “We must thoroughly clear away all ideas of winning easy victories through good luck, without hard and bitter struggle, without sweat and blood…give full play to our style of fighting – courage in battle, no fear of sacrifice, no fear of fatigue…and before we shoot we must show full awareness of where the goalposts stand.”
OK, the last bit was made up. Enjoy the game today. COYI!!!
Karma chameleon
OLAS 478, February 10th 2010
Of course you shouldn’t stereotype people but I never had David Sullivan down as a Buddhist. His discussions of noble truths have tended to indicate more of an East End philosophy than an Eastern one. Still it is reckoned to be the world’s fourth largest religion with up to 500 million followers, so you are bound to encounter one of them when you least expect it. They don’t all wear robes and sit with their legs impossibly crossed and their feet resting on their knees, humming “om”. And as any Buddhist worth their reincarnation will tell you: “The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances.”
Sullivan’s meditation after the nauseating Eidur Gudjohnsen affair was pretty crystal though: “What goes around comes around. I believe in karma.”
And didn’t we get a taste of karma at Burnley. The stats may show that we had twice as many attempts on goal as them, hit the woodwork twice, and had a goal disallowed for offside, but the final result does not lie. And it felt like payback time for that strange game back in November when we ghosted into an undeserved five-goal lead and then almost contrived to throw it all away in the final 20 minutes to the point where we were desperate for the ref to blow the final whistle to save us from any further embarrassment. It is hard to believe we would have held on for a further 10 minutes without conceding more. Despite Burnley’s defence being asleep for the first hour, a very ordinary bunch of players, just up from the championship, ran us ragged near the end and there was little to choose between the teams even though we emerged as 5-3 victors.
What has happened especially in the last couple of weeks ought to have lifted the whole club. Given far more financial security than seemed possible, and having dipped into new funds to emerge with more players after the transfer window, we had every reason to look forward to the Burnley trip with hope and expectation. Only I had a sneaky feeling it would all come back to bite us on the arse. And so it proved; our cockney backsides were well and truly munched.
Like alternative comedians and politicians, Buddhists like to go in for mystical one-liners. One renowned Buddhist quote is: “The greatest effort is not concerned with results”. Somehow I don’t think that is the after-match comment that Sullivan would have been sharing with his partner in grime David Gold.
More likely they would have been discussing how much patience they were really willing to show in a management team that has undoubtedly been operating under severe external pressures, but have now got an opportunity to prove themselves, and so far are coming up short. Zola might say he’s always going to come up short but I don’t mean Iike that. I like Zola and Clarke and remain confident they will prove their worth but they seem to have inexplicably retreated from the refreshing and dynamic approach which they began with last year. They need to remember who they are and what they believe in.
Zola and Clarke inherited a club of stupendous attacking tradition that had been reduced to a soporific bore by the deadweight of Curbishley – possibly the most boring and expressionless person on the planet. He had them playing sideways and backwards and sideways and backwards, with the occasional long hopeful punt to huff and puff and chase after.
The Italian Job and the Flying Scotsman offered an exciting alternative. They bought back the traditions of fast, skilful attacking play for which we were rightly renowned. And although early results went against them they persevered and took us forward. We only just missed a European place, which given how thin the squad was, was probably a mercy, but that is precisely what we should have been challenging for this year instead of fighting a relegation battle.
But our management team have made a giant leap backwards this season. The approach play they direct is stilted and so predictable. There has often been a lone striker with no-one remotely near them, and no passion or excitement in our play save for flashes from Diamanti, and when he’s not been injured, from Zavon Hines. More often than not they have started with four central midfielders, with no pace on the wings and little width at all.
I can’t speak from personal experience of the away games, but at Upton Park, the only game this season where I’ve seen us play with genuine attacking flair was the 3-2 home defeat to Liverpool. And the wrong conclusions were drawn from it. Instead of relishing an exciting attacking performance that merited at least a share of the spoils against a team with vastly more experience and resources, Z&C seemed determined the tighten things up rather than take risks of losing more points. So we became less threatening to any opposition of any level, and the toll of injuries reduced our options even further.
But even given these limitations beyond their control, Zola and Clarke have also been responsible for disastrously bad decisions about which eleven players to put on the pitch, not least when that eleven has included Kojak and Spectator.
The most charitable comment you can make about Kovac is that he tries hard, but his skill is in inverse relationship to his height – and he’s a tall bastard. Spector is a pile of shite (at best), and even if Ilunga has been frequently injured and unavailable, it is clear we should be going with Daprella, a young but more skilful defender who can also attack with confidence.
On the fans’ websites the siren voices are stepping up their calls for Zola’s head. But some of their anger and frustration is completely misdirected. He has been seriously let down by two key members of our youth brigade whom we had come to regard as rising stars, and I have personally had immense faith in. Collison, consistently played out of position on the right flank, has put in several under-par performances and, with a couple of exceptions, Noble has been atrociously slow and poor every game he’s played this season. Perhaps now that the squad has been strengthened both could do with a period on the bench to recover their motivation and come back sharp and more determined.
Horrible though this season has been, our situation is not as bad as it could be and the transfer window has definitely left us in better shape. At the beginning of January I was resigned to losing at least one of our (underperforming) stars. I wouldn’t believe Scott Duxbury to accurately, and with honesty and conviction, describe the colours of a Zebra, let alone believe any of his claims that no-one is going anywhere. Gilbert and Sullivan have confirmed that without their input, the club’s finances could have gone totally tits-up, so to speak, and players would have been sold, despite any of Ducksbrain’s “promises”, to service the ever spiralling debts.
Naturally, speculation by journalists linked us to any number of unlikely players during the transfer window, but we all hoped we might end up with one or two new faces. To grab three experienced forwards, all capable of finding the net, at the fag end of the window and without breaking the bank, was a triumph. To believe, though, that we could afford to put all our efforts to recruit new players in the striker department though was surely a mistake – and it was surprising that more determination wasn’t apparently shown to capture a solid right back or give more experienced back up for Green in goal.
Despite or perhaps because of his desperation to be noticed by Capello, Green’s form has been pretty erratic and maybe he could do with a rest. And while I admire his quick reflexes and shot-stopping agility I could certainly do with a rest from watching him flap about when it comes to crosses. I’ve also got my health to think about. Sure he is pretty resilient physically and tends to shake off injuries quickly, but we are placing a lot of unwarranted faith in that situation to continue.
So far I’ve avoided commenting on the Blackburn game. I worry that if I start I won’t stop. Suffice to say that it was one of the worst and most tepid and pathetic performances I have ever seen at Upton Park since our last relegation season. Except for the fact that the final whistle eventually blew and we could all go home, it was without one redeeming feature. But I know that my fellow righteous monk Sullivan will want me to follow the mantra that states: “Do not speak unless it improves on silence,” and say no more about that dreadful afternoon.
That’s quite a handy mantra though - one that some of our politicians like Blair at the Chilcot enquiry, might have followed too, come to think of it.
And so to tonight where our new boys have a chance to shine under the floodlights in front of our home crowd. I would dearly like to get one over Birmingham, if only to wipe the smarmy smile of Lee Bowyer’s boat. I’ve no regrets about him going and didn’t want him here in the first place. He’s certainly landed on his feet there, and Birmingham are sitting comfortably where we ought to be in this league. They are a tight defensive unit and have proved to be hard to beat this year. They have also nicked several games by a single goal. But, firing on all cylinders, we should be more than a match for them.
My final meditation tonight. Try wrapping your toes round your shoulders and whispering this:” Do not pursue the past. Do not lose yourself in the future. The past no longer is. The future has not yet come. We must be diligent today. To wait until tomorrow is too late.”
And you better believe it because if you end up down in the championship basement there is no reincarnation. Enjoy the game. And come on Zola – defy the doubters, play the attacking game you know so well and we will start to celebrate some victories. Ommmmmmm….COYI!!!!
Of course you shouldn’t stereotype people but I never had David Sullivan down as a Buddhist. His discussions of noble truths have tended to indicate more of an East End philosophy than an Eastern one. Still it is reckoned to be the world’s fourth largest religion with up to 500 million followers, so you are bound to encounter one of them when you least expect it. They don’t all wear robes and sit with their legs impossibly crossed and their feet resting on their knees, humming “om”. And as any Buddhist worth their reincarnation will tell you: “The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances.”
Sullivan’s meditation after the nauseating Eidur Gudjohnsen affair was pretty crystal though: “What goes around comes around. I believe in karma.”
And didn’t we get a taste of karma at Burnley. The stats may show that we had twice as many attempts on goal as them, hit the woodwork twice, and had a goal disallowed for offside, but the final result does not lie. And it felt like payback time for that strange game back in November when we ghosted into an undeserved five-goal lead and then almost contrived to throw it all away in the final 20 minutes to the point where we were desperate for the ref to blow the final whistle to save us from any further embarrassment. It is hard to believe we would have held on for a further 10 minutes without conceding more. Despite Burnley’s defence being asleep for the first hour, a very ordinary bunch of players, just up from the championship, ran us ragged near the end and there was little to choose between the teams even though we emerged as 5-3 victors.
What has happened especially in the last couple of weeks ought to have lifted the whole club. Given far more financial security than seemed possible, and having dipped into new funds to emerge with more players after the transfer window, we had every reason to look forward to the Burnley trip with hope and expectation. Only I had a sneaky feeling it would all come back to bite us on the arse. And so it proved; our cockney backsides were well and truly munched.
Like alternative comedians and politicians, Buddhists like to go in for mystical one-liners. One renowned Buddhist quote is: “The greatest effort is not concerned with results”. Somehow I don’t think that is the after-match comment that Sullivan would have been sharing with his partner in grime David Gold.
More likely they would have been discussing how much patience they were really willing to show in a management team that has undoubtedly been operating under severe external pressures, but have now got an opportunity to prove themselves, and so far are coming up short. Zola might say he’s always going to come up short but I don’t mean Iike that. I like Zola and Clarke and remain confident they will prove their worth but they seem to have inexplicably retreated from the refreshing and dynamic approach which they began with last year. They need to remember who they are and what they believe in.
Zola and Clarke inherited a club of stupendous attacking tradition that had been reduced to a soporific bore by the deadweight of Curbishley – possibly the most boring and expressionless person on the planet. He had them playing sideways and backwards and sideways and backwards, with the occasional long hopeful punt to huff and puff and chase after.
The Italian Job and the Flying Scotsman offered an exciting alternative. They bought back the traditions of fast, skilful attacking play for which we were rightly renowned. And although early results went against them they persevered and took us forward. We only just missed a European place, which given how thin the squad was, was probably a mercy, but that is precisely what we should have been challenging for this year instead of fighting a relegation battle.
But our management team have made a giant leap backwards this season. The approach play they direct is stilted and so predictable. There has often been a lone striker with no-one remotely near them, and no passion or excitement in our play save for flashes from Diamanti, and when he’s not been injured, from Zavon Hines. More often than not they have started with four central midfielders, with no pace on the wings and little width at all.
I can’t speak from personal experience of the away games, but at Upton Park, the only game this season where I’ve seen us play with genuine attacking flair was the 3-2 home defeat to Liverpool. And the wrong conclusions were drawn from it. Instead of relishing an exciting attacking performance that merited at least a share of the spoils against a team with vastly more experience and resources, Z&C seemed determined the tighten things up rather than take risks of losing more points. So we became less threatening to any opposition of any level, and the toll of injuries reduced our options even further.
But even given these limitations beyond their control, Zola and Clarke have also been responsible for disastrously bad decisions about which eleven players to put on the pitch, not least when that eleven has included Kojak and Spectator.
The most charitable comment you can make about Kovac is that he tries hard, but his skill is in inverse relationship to his height – and he’s a tall bastard. Spector is a pile of shite (at best), and even if Ilunga has been frequently injured and unavailable, it is clear we should be going with Daprella, a young but more skilful defender who can also attack with confidence.
On the fans’ websites the siren voices are stepping up their calls for Zola’s head. But some of their anger and frustration is completely misdirected. He has been seriously let down by two key members of our youth brigade whom we had come to regard as rising stars, and I have personally had immense faith in. Collison, consistently played out of position on the right flank, has put in several under-par performances and, with a couple of exceptions, Noble has been atrociously slow and poor every game he’s played this season. Perhaps now that the squad has been strengthened both could do with a period on the bench to recover their motivation and come back sharp and more determined.
Horrible though this season has been, our situation is not as bad as it could be and the transfer window has definitely left us in better shape. At the beginning of January I was resigned to losing at least one of our (underperforming) stars. I wouldn’t believe Scott Duxbury to accurately, and with honesty and conviction, describe the colours of a Zebra, let alone believe any of his claims that no-one is going anywhere. Gilbert and Sullivan have confirmed that without their input, the club’s finances could have gone totally tits-up, so to speak, and players would have been sold, despite any of Ducksbrain’s “promises”, to service the ever spiralling debts.
Naturally, speculation by journalists linked us to any number of unlikely players during the transfer window, but we all hoped we might end up with one or two new faces. To grab three experienced forwards, all capable of finding the net, at the fag end of the window and without breaking the bank, was a triumph. To believe, though, that we could afford to put all our efforts to recruit new players in the striker department though was surely a mistake – and it was surprising that more determination wasn’t apparently shown to capture a solid right back or give more experienced back up for Green in goal.
Despite or perhaps because of his desperation to be noticed by Capello, Green’s form has been pretty erratic and maybe he could do with a rest. And while I admire his quick reflexes and shot-stopping agility I could certainly do with a rest from watching him flap about when it comes to crosses. I’ve also got my health to think about. Sure he is pretty resilient physically and tends to shake off injuries quickly, but we are placing a lot of unwarranted faith in that situation to continue.
So far I’ve avoided commenting on the Blackburn game. I worry that if I start I won’t stop. Suffice to say that it was one of the worst and most tepid and pathetic performances I have ever seen at Upton Park since our last relegation season. Except for the fact that the final whistle eventually blew and we could all go home, it was without one redeeming feature. But I know that my fellow righteous monk Sullivan will want me to follow the mantra that states: “Do not speak unless it improves on silence,” and say no more about that dreadful afternoon.
That’s quite a handy mantra though - one that some of our politicians like Blair at the Chilcot enquiry, might have followed too, come to think of it.
And so to tonight where our new boys have a chance to shine under the floodlights in front of our home crowd. I would dearly like to get one over Birmingham, if only to wipe the smarmy smile of Lee Bowyer’s boat. I’ve no regrets about him going and didn’t want him here in the first place. He’s certainly landed on his feet there, and Birmingham are sitting comfortably where we ought to be in this league. They are a tight defensive unit and have proved to be hard to beat this year. They have also nicked several games by a single goal. But, firing on all cylinders, we should be more than a match for them.
My final meditation tonight. Try wrapping your toes round your shoulders and whispering this:” Do not pursue the past. Do not lose yourself in the future. The past no longer is. The future has not yet come. We must be diligent today. To wait until tomorrow is too late.”
And you better believe it because if you end up down in the championship basement there is no reincarnation. Enjoy the game. And come on Zola – defy the doubters, play the attacking game you know so well and we will start to celebrate some victories. Ommmmmmm….COYI!!!!
Partners in grime
OLAS 477, January 30th 2010
As if there are not already enough Daves or Davids writing for OLAS we’ve now got two of them running the club. One smiles like a Cheshire cat who doesn’t just lick the cream but seems to own all the cream, and the other looks more like a Goliath than a David but has considerably worse dress sense than his biblical counterpart. That claret blazer Sullivan was pictured in the day the two David’s took over was almost as embarrassing for any observer to look as it must have been to wear. Money can do a lot of things but it can’t make Sullivan look any different.
It is high time that sociologists, anthropologists and scientists put their heads together and started to study the “Dave” phenomenon and find out whether it is really true that being given this moniker makes you more likely to support West Ham. My hunch is that it does, but it is not inevitable. And when you consider the implications if it was an inevitable process then we’re rather fortunate. You seriously would not want every David out there – even if they were paying good money. I’ve started compiling a list of Daves and Davids who we don’t want anywhere near Upton Park: My top 7 Dave’s to keep away are the following
David Cameron – smug Tory bastard
David Beckham – Brainless ex-Manure git
David Koresh –loopy Texan fundamentalist leader currently residing in heaven or hell
David Icke – loopy conspiracy theorist (and crap goalie)
David Duke – ditto (don’t know what he’s like in goal)
David Irving – ditto plus Holocaust denier and general wanker
David Brent – not funny at all and general wanker too
My definition of hell actually is having to choose a companion for a long walk out of David Cameron and David Irving…
Just in case any of my fellow OLAS-scribbling Daves are worried that I’m turning against people bearing this wonderful name, (which after all means “beloved”), I hope I can reassure them by stating that I have also begun to draft my list of David’s I would like to be West Ham supporters (Please feel free to add sensible suggestions):
David Bowie – I still love Ziggy Stardust.
David Gilmour – I still listen to Dark Side of the Moon and look for it on a clear night.
So what are we to make of the latest Daves we’ve got on board, or rather, running the board? “They’re family, they’re community, they’re West ‘am”. Do me a favour. We’ll need to get past any sentimental twaddle if we are going to have any serious assessment of what they will do either for or to the club.
I guess it’s a case of having to draw up the plusses and minuses. The club was, and still is at this point in time, probably very close to going under and they have at least delayed that possibility and given us a breathing space to draw up a recovery plan. The debts won’t disappear overnight, and these two know what they are up against and what they will need to do about it. They are experienced in running a football club and adding value to it. Whatever significant amounts of money they generously splash out on new players this month will most likely be more than balanced by departures in the summer of some we, as fans ,would not like to see on their way.
But Gilbert and Sullivan, our Pirates of Plaistow, are undoubtedly West Ham fans and want the club to succeed whether they are running it or not. And now they have put themselves in the driving seat they have an even greater stake in wanting to succeed.
And talking of driving seats, there’s a story about a guy, not unlike David Gold, who takes his roller, not unlike David Gold’s, to the garage and asks them to clean it inside and out. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours,” he shouts at the lowly attendant. “Make damn sure it looks smart inside and outside. Got it, my man?”
“OK, guv,” says the attendant, “Inside and outside”.
Well he puts his heart and soul into cleaning it and when the owner, not unlike David Gold, comes to pick it up he's standing there next to the gleaming roller. He collects his payment and then says to the owner:
“one thing, guv, I found this on the front seat – what is it?” – and he holds up a golf-tee.
“Don’t you know anything? It’s to rest your balls on when you drive off,” barks the owner.
The attendant replies: “Blimey, these Rolls Royces really have got everything.”
Our new owners may not have everything but they have got serious dosh. These “Mags to Riches” entrepreneurs are not taking a salary for themselves and are paying the salary of Karren Brady out of their own very deep and very murky pockets. They have got their beady eyes on the Olympic Stadium – or rather on the profit from selling that rather large and valuable piece land that sits under our Upton Park stadium.
Of course we should be grateful that anyone had the sense of adventure or humour to take on such a shambolic business as West Ham PLC. But whatever impulses anyone has to welcome Dave and Dave with open arms as our saviours, without any conditions or hint of scepticism, we need to let Del boy and Rodders know in no uncertain terms that we want Upton Park to remain our home. If they want to get some money back out of their gamble of running our club they are going to have to find a different method of doing that. They don’t look like the type of people who are short of ideas of how to screw money out of others. In fact Gold looks like somebody who would screw money out of his own granny And Goliath looks like he would be cheering him on as he does it.
On the plus side, if it has taken the heat off our financial emergency, it has also take the sting out of the overwhelmingly negative press coverage we have endured over the last few years. Amazing what a couple of lovable east end rogues can do. And unless I was dreaming I do believe we were positively praised on Match of the Day for our rugged performance up at Villa Park where we snatched a very valuable and unlikely point from a team who just a few days later put six goals past Blackburn.
We rarely threatened to get more than a point from the game but there were several pleasing aspects. Tomkins gave a first class performance and at the other end Nouble gave a much better account of himself than he had in that nervous debut in the cup against Arsenal. At Villa Park he held the ball well, made things difficult at times for experienced defenders, showed a lot of determination and a better awareness of where other players were, so that he could pass more often.
All being well we’ll have Cole back today – and maybe even a new face with him. But if he cant’ manage a whole game Nouble will fill the role more confidently now.
Greeny was also notable against Villa for three very good saves and the worst possible decision of when to try and dribble the ball past an attacker. We were lucky to get away with that but his other heroics were crucial in earning the point.
Blackburn have been playing with more style lately and will be tough opponents but we certainly need to beat them to drag as many teams as possible into the relegation fight. It would have been hard for the players not to carry the burden of worrying whether the club would survive during the financially stormy months we have been passing through, but now some stability is returning they ought to show how that worry has lifted and play with freedom and desire.
So as we reach the end of January, this weekend, as I’m sure you will all know, is the Big Garden Birdwatch organised by the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds. But somebody ought to tell Dave and Dave before they get too excited and get their cameras (and anything else they can lay their hands on) flashing, that it’s not those kind of great tits and not that kind of swallow.
In honour of the birdwatch maybe we’ll revive that old terrace favourite: ‘if I had the wings of sparrow, if I had the arse of a crow…). anyway, enjoy he game – let’s hope we use our wings well and end up soaring high. the only way is up. COYI!!!
As if there are not already enough Daves or Davids writing for OLAS we’ve now got two of them running the club. One smiles like a Cheshire cat who doesn’t just lick the cream but seems to own all the cream, and the other looks more like a Goliath than a David but has considerably worse dress sense than his biblical counterpart. That claret blazer Sullivan was pictured in the day the two David’s took over was almost as embarrassing for any observer to look as it must have been to wear. Money can do a lot of things but it can’t make Sullivan look any different.
It is high time that sociologists, anthropologists and scientists put their heads together and started to study the “Dave” phenomenon and find out whether it is really true that being given this moniker makes you more likely to support West Ham. My hunch is that it does, but it is not inevitable. And when you consider the implications if it was an inevitable process then we’re rather fortunate. You seriously would not want every David out there – even if they were paying good money. I’ve started compiling a list of Daves and Davids who we don’t want anywhere near Upton Park: My top 7 Dave’s to keep away are the following
David Cameron – smug Tory bastard
David Beckham – Brainless ex-Manure git
David Koresh –loopy Texan fundamentalist leader currently residing in heaven or hell
David Icke – loopy conspiracy theorist (and crap goalie)
David Duke – ditto (don’t know what he’s like in goal)
David Irving – ditto plus Holocaust denier and general wanker
David Brent – not funny at all and general wanker too
My definition of hell actually is having to choose a companion for a long walk out of David Cameron and David Irving…
Just in case any of my fellow OLAS-scribbling Daves are worried that I’m turning against people bearing this wonderful name, (which after all means “beloved”), I hope I can reassure them by stating that I have also begun to draft my list of David’s I would like to be West Ham supporters (Please feel free to add sensible suggestions):
David Bowie – I still love Ziggy Stardust.
David Gilmour – I still listen to Dark Side of the Moon and look for it on a clear night.
So what are we to make of the latest Daves we’ve got on board, or rather, running the board? “They’re family, they’re community, they’re West ‘am”. Do me a favour. We’ll need to get past any sentimental twaddle if we are going to have any serious assessment of what they will do either for or to the club.
I guess it’s a case of having to draw up the plusses and minuses. The club was, and still is at this point in time, probably very close to going under and they have at least delayed that possibility and given us a breathing space to draw up a recovery plan. The debts won’t disappear overnight, and these two know what they are up against and what they will need to do about it. They are experienced in running a football club and adding value to it. Whatever significant amounts of money they generously splash out on new players this month will most likely be more than balanced by departures in the summer of some we, as fans ,would not like to see on their way.
But Gilbert and Sullivan, our Pirates of Plaistow, are undoubtedly West Ham fans and want the club to succeed whether they are running it or not. And now they have put themselves in the driving seat they have an even greater stake in wanting to succeed.
And talking of driving seats, there’s a story about a guy, not unlike David Gold, who takes his roller, not unlike David Gold’s, to the garage and asks them to clean it inside and out. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours,” he shouts at the lowly attendant. “Make damn sure it looks smart inside and outside. Got it, my man?”
“OK, guv,” says the attendant, “Inside and outside”.
Well he puts his heart and soul into cleaning it and when the owner, not unlike David Gold, comes to pick it up he's standing there next to the gleaming roller. He collects his payment and then says to the owner:
“one thing, guv, I found this on the front seat – what is it?” – and he holds up a golf-tee.
“Don’t you know anything? It’s to rest your balls on when you drive off,” barks the owner.
The attendant replies: “Blimey, these Rolls Royces really have got everything.”
Our new owners may not have everything but they have got serious dosh. These “Mags to Riches” entrepreneurs are not taking a salary for themselves and are paying the salary of Karren Brady out of their own very deep and very murky pockets. They have got their beady eyes on the Olympic Stadium – or rather on the profit from selling that rather large and valuable piece land that sits under our Upton Park stadium.
Of course we should be grateful that anyone had the sense of adventure or humour to take on such a shambolic business as West Ham PLC. But whatever impulses anyone has to welcome Dave and Dave with open arms as our saviours, without any conditions or hint of scepticism, we need to let Del boy and Rodders know in no uncertain terms that we want Upton Park to remain our home. If they want to get some money back out of their gamble of running our club they are going to have to find a different method of doing that. They don’t look like the type of people who are short of ideas of how to screw money out of others. In fact Gold looks like somebody who would screw money out of his own granny And Goliath looks like he would be cheering him on as he does it.
On the plus side, if it has taken the heat off our financial emergency, it has also take the sting out of the overwhelmingly negative press coverage we have endured over the last few years. Amazing what a couple of lovable east end rogues can do. And unless I was dreaming I do believe we were positively praised on Match of the Day for our rugged performance up at Villa Park where we snatched a very valuable and unlikely point from a team who just a few days later put six goals past Blackburn.
We rarely threatened to get more than a point from the game but there were several pleasing aspects. Tomkins gave a first class performance and at the other end Nouble gave a much better account of himself than he had in that nervous debut in the cup against Arsenal. At Villa Park he held the ball well, made things difficult at times for experienced defenders, showed a lot of determination and a better awareness of where other players were, so that he could pass more often.
All being well we’ll have Cole back today – and maybe even a new face with him. But if he cant’ manage a whole game Nouble will fill the role more confidently now.
Greeny was also notable against Villa for three very good saves and the worst possible decision of when to try and dribble the ball past an attacker. We were lucky to get away with that but his other heroics were crucial in earning the point.
Blackburn have been playing with more style lately and will be tough opponents but we certainly need to beat them to drag as many teams as possible into the relegation fight. It would have been hard for the players not to carry the burden of worrying whether the club would survive during the financially stormy months we have been passing through, but now some stability is returning they ought to show how that worry has lifted and play with freedom and desire.
So as we reach the end of January, this weekend, as I’m sure you will all know, is the Big Garden Birdwatch organised by the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds. But somebody ought to tell Dave and Dave before they get too excited and get their cameras (and anything else they can lay their hands on) flashing, that it’s not those kind of great tits and not that kind of swallow.
In honour of the birdwatch maybe we’ll revive that old terrace favourite: ‘if I had the wings of sparrow, if I had the arse of a crow…). anyway, enjoy he game – let’s hope we use our wings well and end up soaring high. the only way is up. COYI!!!
Saturday 9 January 2010
Comedy, scarecrows and tragedy
OLAS 476 10th January 2010
If I wanted to see “A Comedy of Errors” I would have gone to Stratford upon Avon, but it seems that I managed to find it nevertheless just a stone’s throw from Stratford East London last Sunday.
Arsenal’s mainly second-string side were there for the taking. Whinger knows that with Man U and Chelsea sliding, they have got a serious chance of challenging for the league title. The F A Cup is one diversion they needed like a hole in the head. And they don’t have a terribly good cup record against West Ham.
For much of the game they spurned our generosity. We repeatedly handed them the ball on a plate, gave them all the space in the world to move from defence to attack, but when they got down our end of the pitch they opted to belt the ball over the bar, or crash it against our defenders. And for a side whose attacking game depends on precision passing, they often failed to make their last pass tell. With Arsenal’s profligacy, our patched up side were muddling through and occasionally threatening their goal through Diamianti and Junior Stan, but unfortunately we found their goalie, Fabianski in rather fab form. A goal out of nothing in the 45th minute provided the prefect platform to wrap the game up in the second half.
Halfway through the second half you could see the frustration on the faces of the Arsenal players and Whinger was clearly getting more and more twitchy and agitated. He started pacing quickly, then stopping to hold his hands out like a scarecrow. He’d be quite good as a scarecrow – he would frighten me and small children any day. The Arsenal crowd, very upbeat early on and taunting the home fans for being so hushed, had all gone rather quiet. We were still in front and it looked like staying that way.
To be honest neither team deserved to win, as the quality for much of the match was poor. But with 15 minutes to go I actually fooled myself into thinking it was going to happen for us, that despite a display full of huff and puff but hopelessly mistimed or panicked passes and needless mistakes, it was seriously looking as if effort rather than skill would see us through, that we would hang on.
My mind began to wander. Having very much enjoyed a two week break from the school where I teach in Islington which is, not surprisingly dominated by Arsenal supporters, I was imagining the scenario and looking forward to the pleasure that only a 52-year-old West Ham fan could get by winding up a few of the primary age kids who take it all too seriously. But within a few minutes, Arsenal’s substitutions had made the difference, comedy had turned to tragedy we were dumped out of the cup. Wembley has been officially struck off my list of exotic destinations this year.
Once Arsenal had equalised we all knew which way it was going to go. The only surprise was how quickly Arsenal grabbed their second. No doubt many of our supporters will be relieved that we won’t be adding a replay to our fixture list. After all, our players are dropping like flies, while others are getting ready to make themselves pretty for the shop window for the post Christmas sales to bigger and more ambitious clubs. We knew we were going to be without Franco (suspension), the injured Cole, Hines and Parker, and Noble, who took quite a knock against Portsmouth. But what about Jack Collisson? His non-appearance and therefore non-cup-tied status will certainly keep me worried until the end of the window.
Still it’s nice to know that Zola uses my column to help him with the team selection. I had proposed that Daprella was given a try out and made the case for Nouble to join him on the pitch against Arsenal. One of them made a big impression and I had been expecting it to be Nouble. As it was he seemed completely overawed with the occasion, frozen by nerves, and increasingly clumsy as he tried to get things right. There was so much expectation but he made a bit of a hash of it, and he must be kicking himself and feeling pretty low.
As fans we need to forget this performance, mark it down to inexperience, and treat his next start as his real debut. He looked desperate to do well but clueless as to how to go about it. Yet when he last had a proper run out – against Millwall earlier in the season – he showed considerable promise. So I think we need a bit of understanding and a bit of encouragement for a youngster who is physically mature but wasn’t really prepared psychologically for what he was going to be involved in during this cup tie. If Gary’s info on Cole’s injury is true – and with Franco no spring chicken – we may be seeing quite a lot of Nouble in the next two months.
Daprella – also a youngster – was far more prepared for the occasion and gave a fine display. He looked comfortable on the ball and was not afraid to burst forward. it was a performance that made me feel much less disturbed by Ilunga’s injury tendencies. Most importantly it proves we have adequate cover without having to resort to the piss-awful Spector – who is possibly the crappiest full back I’ve ever seen at Upton Park (or in any park come to that) - and I’ve been coming here since ’66.
Other players who can hold their head up high from the Arsenal game are Faubert (apart from a couple of lapses), Behrami who gave a high energy Billy Bonds- type performance and Junior Stanislas who drove forward whenever possible and was unlucky not to get on the scoresheet.
Diamanti was excellent for the first hour then faded. Jiminez gave a more committed performance, with some nice touches, but has not convinced me yet. Upson did well but looked as if he was going through the motions. He showed absolutely nothing as a captain who is supposed to be motivating the players around him. Tomkins won some crucial balls in the air but his distribution on the ground was very poor. Greeny made a couple of fine saves but his kicking was inconsistent and his ability on crosses was again left open to question. Kovac underperformed once more over the 90 minutes, though he had a better first half.
Despite being dumped out of the cup, one bright spot was the return of Freddie Sears who looked lively and confident, though his failure to hit the net on any occasion during his loan period at Palace does not bode well. But he seemed to be very glad to be back playing in the West Ham colours again. I was tempted to say he’s grown as a player but he still looks three foot six to me, so I won’t say it.
Today, it is back to the relegation dogfight. And for the benefit of any pedants out there, apparently you can have a dogfight with wolves on account of them being from the same species as dogs (Canis Lupus – if you really want to know). What did you think they were - some kid of angry short haired sheep? Some scientists claim that Dingos are a kind of missing link in the history of the connection between wolves and dogs. And I thought it was a game for bored grannies who had outlived their husbands – shows how much I know.
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Wolves at Upton Park (though I’ve seen a few dogs…) and I think Derek Dougan was playing last time out. Now that dates me. But I like Mick McCarthy with his mis-shapen nose and great northern drone when he’s interviewed. and if they weren’t in the diogfight with us I’d want them to stay up. But there can’t be any room at all for sentiment today.
We did a job on them in the first game of the season and we need to repeat that in our first home league encounter of 2010. January and February are all about points, and much as I hate the “targets” and “assessment” culture that is invading every aspect of our lives poisoning so many ordinary simple human interactions, I hope that Gianfranco has set the team some tough targets for the number of points to be in our possession come the end of February. We have to look at getting a minimum of 12 points from the 8 games between now and then – and if possible, more t help us climb away form the relegation zone.
So West Ham – what will you serve up today – comedy, tragedy – or - a spellbinding performance of what Alf Garnett described as “working class ballet”? The stage is set – don’t let us down.
If I wanted to see “A Comedy of Errors” I would have gone to Stratford upon Avon, but it seems that I managed to find it nevertheless just a stone’s throw from Stratford East London last Sunday.
Arsenal’s mainly second-string side were there for the taking. Whinger knows that with Man U and Chelsea sliding, they have got a serious chance of challenging for the league title. The F A Cup is one diversion they needed like a hole in the head. And they don’t have a terribly good cup record against West Ham.
For much of the game they spurned our generosity. We repeatedly handed them the ball on a plate, gave them all the space in the world to move from defence to attack, but when they got down our end of the pitch they opted to belt the ball over the bar, or crash it against our defenders. And for a side whose attacking game depends on precision passing, they often failed to make their last pass tell. With Arsenal’s profligacy, our patched up side were muddling through and occasionally threatening their goal through Diamianti and Junior Stan, but unfortunately we found their goalie, Fabianski in rather fab form. A goal out of nothing in the 45th minute provided the prefect platform to wrap the game up in the second half.
Halfway through the second half you could see the frustration on the faces of the Arsenal players and Whinger was clearly getting more and more twitchy and agitated. He started pacing quickly, then stopping to hold his hands out like a scarecrow. He’d be quite good as a scarecrow – he would frighten me and small children any day. The Arsenal crowd, very upbeat early on and taunting the home fans for being so hushed, had all gone rather quiet. We were still in front and it looked like staying that way.
To be honest neither team deserved to win, as the quality for much of the match was poor. But with 15 minutes to go I actually fooled myself into thinking it was going to happen for us, that despite a display full of huff and puff but hopelessly mistimed or panicked passes and needless mistakes, it was seriously looking as if effort rather than skill would see us through, that we would hang on.
My mind began to wander. Having very much enjoyed a two week break from the school where I teach in Islington which is, not surprisingly dominated by Arsenal supporters, I was imagining the scenario and looking forward to the pleasure that only a 52-year-old West Ham fan could get by winding up a few of the primary age kids who take it all too seriously. But within a few minutes, Arsenal’s substitutions had made the difference, comedy had turned to tragedy we were dumped out of the cup. Wembley has been officially struck off my list of exotic destinations this year.
Once Arsenal had equalised we all knew which way it was going to go. The only surprise was how quickly Arsenal grabbed their second. No doubt many of our supporters will be relieved that we won’t be adding a replay to our fixture list. After all, our players are dropping like flies, while others are getting ready to make themselves pretty for the shop window for the post Christmas sales to bigger and more ambitious clubs. We knew we were going to be without Franco (suspension), the injured Cole, Hines and Parker, and Noble, who took quite a knock against Portsmouth. But what about Jack Collisson? His non-appearance and therefore non-cup-tied status will certainly keep me worried until the end of the window.
Still it’s nice to know that Zola uses my column to help him with the team selection. I had proposed that Daprella was given a try out and made the case for Nouble to join him on the pitch against Arsenal. One of them made a big impression and I had been expecting it to be Nouble. As it was he seemed completely overawed with the occasion, frozen by nerves, and increasingly clumsy as he tried to get things right. There was so much expectation but he made a bit of a hash of it, and he must be kicking himself and feeling pretty low.
As fans we need to forget this performance, mark it down to inexperience, and treat his next start as his real debut. He looked desperate to do well but clueless as to how to go about it. Yet when he last had a proper run out – against Millwall earlier in the season – he showed considerable promise. So I think we need a bit of understanding and a bit of encouragement for a youngster who is physically mature but wasn’t really prepared psychologically for what he was going to be involved in during this cup tie. If Gary’s info on Cole’s injury is true – and with Franco no spring chicken – we may be seeing quite a lot of Nouble in the next two months.
Daprella – also a youngster – was far more prepared for the occasion and gave a fine display. He looked comfortable on the ball and was not afraid to burst forward. it was a performance that made me feel much less disturbed by Ilunga’s injury tendencies. Most importantly it proves we have adequate cover without having to resort to the piss-awful Spector – who is possibly the crappiest full back I’ve ever seen at Upton Park (or in any park come to that) - and I’ve been coming here since ’66.
Other players who can hold their head up high from the Arsenal game are Faubert (apart from a couple of lapses), Behrami who gave a high energy Billy Bonds- type performance and Junior Stanislas who drove forward whenever possible and was unlucky not to get on the scoresheet.
Diamanti was excellent for the first hour then faded. Jiminez gave a more committed performance, with some nice touches, but has not convinced me yet. Upson did well but looked as if he was going through the motions. He showed absolutely nothing as a captain who is supposed to be motivating the players around him. Tomkins won some crucial balls in the air but his distribution on the ground was very poor. Greeny made a couple of fine saves but his kicking was inconsistent and his ability on crosses was again left open to question. Kovac underperformed once more over the 90 minutes, though he had a better first half.
Despite being dumped out of the cup, one bright spot was the return of Freddie Sears who looked lively and confident, though his failure to hit the net on any occasion during his loan period at Palace does not bode well. But he seemed to be very glad to be back playing in the West Ham colours again. I was tempted to say he’s grown as a player but he still looks three foot six to me, so I won’t say it.
Today, it is back to the relegation dogfight. And for the benefit of any pedants out there, apparently you can have a dogfight with wolves on account of them being from the same species as dogs (Canis Lupus – if you really want to know). What did you think they were - some kid of angry short haired sheep? Some scientists claim that Dingos are a kind of missing link in the history of the connection between wolves and dogs. And I thought it was a game for bored grannies who had outlived their husbands – shows how much I know.
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Wolves at Upton Park (though I’ve seen a few dogs…) and I think Derek Dougan was playing last time out. Now that dates me. But I like Mick McCarthy with his mis-shapen nose and great northern drone when he’s interviewed. and if they weren’t in the diogfight with us I’d want them to stay up. But there can’t be any room at all for sentiment today.
We did a job on them in the first game of the season and we need to repeat that in our first home league encounter of 2010. January and February are all about points, and much as I hate the “targets” and “assessment” culture that is invading every aspect of our lives poisoning so many ordinary simple human interactions, I hope that Gianfranco has set the team some tough targets for the number of points to be in our possession come the end of February. We have to look at getting a minimum of 12 points from the 8 games between now and then – and if possible, more t help us climb away form the relegation zone.
So West Ham – what will you serve up today – comedy, tragedy – or - a spellbinding performance of what Alf Garnett described as “working class ballet”? The stage is set – don’t let us down.
Let's kick arse
OLAS 475 January 3rd 2010
Most people like new experiences. Who can forget the first time they tasted ice cream, flew on an aeroplane, or robbed a bank? For Robert Green, getting through 90 minutes of football without having to collect the ball from the back of the net would have been such a distant fading memory, that it must have felt like a totally new and unearthly experience. Though he had made a hash of a couple of clearances, he was unlucky to be beaten once by Chelsea – and then only from the penalty spot – but against Portsmouth he was much more commanding, especially after West Ham decided to sit back on their lead and surrender Pompey the initiative in the second half. So his clean sheet on Boxing Day could not have come at a more opportune moment.
If someone stopped you in the street and asked you, as a West Ham supporter, whether you would rather beat Chelsea or Portsmouth, well, nine times out of ten you would surely say Chelsea. The thought of getting one over those rich arrogant tossers is very appealing, while Portsmouth are quite cuddly really. But when you stop and think about our current predicament in the league and who we really need to be taking points from. You realise how valuable it was that, if we were taking four points from these encounters, it was so much better that we failed to beat Chelsea but succeeded in beating Portsmouth.
It was an odd game against Pompey, given how much urgency we had shown against Chelsea, as this one counted far more. It was played at a snail’s pace with neither team showing much adventure, though West Ham were good in parts, and deserved to be ahead at the interval if only for showing slightly more endeavour and purpose. We came good again towards the end and with more accurate finishing would have won by three or four goals. Collisson had three good attempts in the game and should have buried at least one. But that is the part of his game that he most needs to improve.
Collisson has the potential to be a West Ham great if we can hang on to him. He is the nearest thing I have seen over the years to another Trevor Brooking – extremely poised and unselfish, very thoughtful when the ball arrives at his feet, drifts nimbly past defenders, reads the game extremely well and ghosts into good positions. Clever Trevor also didn’t’ score many goals but then again he had Geoff Hurst/Clyde Best/Jimmy Greaves/Pop Robson to take responsibility for putting the ball in the back of the net. At this moment we have one ageing Mexican international and an injury list as long as a blue whale’s penis (which I have been assured on good authority, rather than personal experience, is pretty substantial)
After the Portsmouth game the friendly press were bigging up Kovac and Jiminez. Now many philosophers will argue that actuality as perceived by different individuals is a tricky thing and everyone sees things through their own window, but I honestly don’t know which window some of these characters are using. Yes Kovac took his goal superbly, and showed other premier-level strikers how to bury a header, but for a fella his size he should really be bossing the midfield. And Patrick Viera he isn’t. His tackles are often lightweight and half-hearted, his vision poor, his timing of passes frequently lacking in awareness. I don’t doubt his effort or commitment – just his ability – and cannot fathom how he captained Spartak Moscow, unless he won that title in a raffle. I hope he will prove me wrong in 2010 and show that my window on reality has the curtains drawn and that the plaudits he has received recently are totally merited.
When Jiminez first kicked a ball for the Hammers in the pre-season friendly against Napoli I was impressed but maybe it was another trick of the reality lens, with the other players being relatively less fit or bothered. In the cut and thrust of the Premier League he looks so pedestrian. Many of his passes come to nothing; and when he wants to receive a pass, if the ball doesn’t come right to his feet, he makes little effort to win it. He made two good contributions against Portsmouth and luckily for him they both ended with goals – getting bundled over for our penalty in the first instance and floating a superb curling free kick for Kovac to head in for the second. Between those moments I saw a rather indifferent performance from a player who either lacks confidence, commitment or ability. If I’m wrong, Luis, then prove it in the new year. I want you to succeed. But at the moment I would rather see Junior Stanislas in your place because he knows how to advance up the pitch rather than go square and how to strike a bit of fear into defences with his aggressive forward runs.
On a more positive note, the return of Upson has seen the defence beginning to operate again much more like a unit. Tomkins is developing extremely well given his age and experience and Faubert and Ilunga are playing more consistently, though with Ilunga picking up yet another injury that will be disrupted again. I hope we are not going to see the imposter Jonathan Spector out there today, trying to fool the public again that he is a professional footballer. Some players suffer from being one-footed – Spector suffers from being no-footed. Why not give Daprella a go?
The crucial aspect of the win over Portsmouth was that it lifted West ham out of the bottom three, a position that at the time of writing we have sustained despite the fairly inevitable setback against high-riding Spurs. We go into 2010 one point above the drop zone but only four points off 11th place and with a substantially better goal difference than four of the teams immediately above us, which at the end of the day is worth a point. so I’m less pessimistic than I was a few weeks ago.
I know how much the annual fixtures with Spurs mean to every West Ham fan, but I’m not too disheartened by our failure at Shite Hart lane. They have a much stronger squad than us, were able to bring in four players rested on boxing day, and we lost two key players to injury early on – so we need to keep it in perspective. Let’s hope we will have a stronger squad again by the time we face Wolves on January 10th.
But today we can put the league to one side anyway and savour what ought to be quite a spectacle in the FA Cup. Neither team will want to add more fixtures to their schedule unnecessarily so both will certainly be playing an attacking game to force a win. We have the psychological advantage of going into the game as underdogs on our home patch, with our home crowd as our 12th man, and in the knowledge that when Arsenal came here in the league game we gave them a mighty fright in the second half and they were the ones clinging on near the end for a point even though we were down to 10 men.
We need to start with our best team but be prepared, if we are clearly heading for defeat, to give a couple of subs a proper run out, to prepare them for league action, especially Nouble. With Franco struggling to maintain his strength as a lone striker, and Carlton and Zavon still sidelined we need more options up front and Nouble could be an important player for us in the second half of the season, but he needs to get the chance to play more than a couple of minutes at the end of a game.
You don’t need me to tell you how important January is to the future of the club. We can do all the speculating we like but won’t really know what kind of shakedown will have been effected until January 31st. We may get hints today though – if certain of our stars don’t appear and we are fobbed off with excuses like “a cold”, “flu” or “a virus”. You don’t need to use a translation search engine like “babel fish” to know that this means “We’re selling them, despite any of Duckbrain’s promises, and we get more money if they are not cup-tied”.
Anyway, after the home game against Chelsea we have shown that we can play without fear against big clubs at Upton Park and I fancy that we’ll give Arsenal a run for their money today with Diamanti being our surprise package I haven’t been to Wembley for a while – and that’s been mainly to visit my dentist. I would love another trip there that doesn’t involve excruciating pain. And I’m old enough to remember seeing Billy Bonds holding the cup there. So come on West Ham, show us what you can do. Get out there and kick some arse! COYI!!!!!
Most people like new experiences. Who can forget the first time they tasted ice cream, flew on an aeroplane, or robbed a bank? For Robert Green, getting through 90 minutes of football without having to collect the ball from the back of the net would have been such a distant fading memory, that it must have felt like a totally new and unearthly experience. Though he had made a hash of a couple of clearances, he was unlucky to be beaten once by Chelsea – and then only from the penalty spot – but against Portsmouth he was much more commanding, especially after West Ham decided to sit back on their lead and surrender Pompey the initiative in the second half. So his clean sheet on Boxing Day could not have come at a more opportune moment.
If someone stopped you in the street and asked you, as a West Ham supporter, whether you would rather beat Chelsea or Portsmouth, well, nine times out of ten you would surely say Chelsea. The thought of getting one over those rich arrogant tossers is very appealing, while Portsmouth are quite cuddly really. But when you stop and think about our current predicament in the league and who we really need to be taking points from. You realise how valuable it was that, if we were taking four points from these encounters, it was so much better that we failed to beat Chelsea but succeeded in beating Portsmouth.
It was an odd game against Pompey, given how much urgency we had shown against Chelsea, as this one counted far more. It was played at a snail’s pace with neither team showing much adventure, though West Ham were good in parts, and deserved to be ahead at the interval if only for showing slightly more endeavour and purpose. We came good again towards the end and with more accurate finishing would have won by three or four goals. Collisson had three good attempts in the game and should have buried at least one. But that is the part of his game that he most needs to improve.
Collisson has the potential to be a West Ham great if we can hang on to him. He is the nearest thing I have seen over the years to another Trevor Brooking – extremely poised and unselfish, very thoughtful when the ball arrives at his feet, drifts nimbly past defenders, reads the game extremely well and ghosts into good positions. Clever Trevor also didn’t’ score many goals but then again he had Geoff Hurst/Clyde Best/Jimmy Greaves/Pop Robson to take responsibility for putting the ball in the back of the net. At this moment we have one ageing Mexican international and an injury list as long as a blue whale’s penis (which I have been assured on good authority, rather than personal experience, is pretty substantial)
After the Portsmouth game the friendly press were bigging up Kovac and Jiminez. Now many philosophers will argue that actuality as perceived by different individuals is a tricky thing and everyone sees things through their own window, but I honestly don’t know which window some of these characters are using. Yes Kovac took his goal superbly, and showed other premier-level strikers how to bury a header, but for a fella his size he should really be bossing the midfield. And Patrick Viera he isn’t. His tackles are often lightweight and half-hearted, his vision poor, his timing of passes frequently lacking in awareness. I don’t doubt his effort or commitment – just his ability – and cannot fathom how he captained Spartak Moscow, unless he won that title in a raffle. I hope he will prove me wrong in 2010 and show that my window on reality has the curtains drawn and that the plaudits he has received recently are totally merited.
When Jiminez first kicked a ball for the Hammers in the pre-season friendly against Napoli I was impressed but maybe it was another trick of the reality lens, with the other players being relatively less fit or bothered. In the cut and thrust of the Premier League he looks so pedestrian. Many of his passes come to nothing; and when he wants to receive a pass, if the ball doesn’t come right to his feet, he makes little effort to win it. He made two good contributions against Portsmouth and luckily for him they both ended with goals – getting bundled over for our penalty in the first instance and floating a superb curling free kick for Kovac to head in for the second. Between those moments I saw a rather indifferent performance from a player who either lacks confidence, commitment or ability. If I’m wrong, Luis, then prove it in the new year. I want you to succeed. But at the moment I would rather see Junior Stanislas in your place because he knows how to advance up the pitch rather than go square and how to strike a bit of fear into defences with his aggressive forward runs.
On a more positive note, the return of Upson has seen the defence beginning to operate again much more like a unit. Tomkins is developing extremely well given his age and experience and Faubert and Ilunga are playing more consistently, though with Ilunga picking up yet another injury that will be disrupted again. I hope we are not going to see the imposter Jonathan Spector out there today, trying to fool the public again that he is a professional footballer. Some players suffer from being one-footed – Spector suffers from being no-footed. Why not give Daprella a go?
The crucial aspect of the win over Portsmouth was that it lifted West ham out of the bottom three, a position that at the time of writing we have sustained despite the fairly inevitable setback against high-riding Spurs. We go into 2010 one point above the drop zone but only four points off 11th place and with a substantially better goal difference than four of the teams immediately above us, which at the end of the day is worth a point. so I’m less pessimistic than I was a few weeks ago.
I know how much the annual fixtures with Spurs mean to every West Ham fan, but I’m not too disheartened by our failure at Shite Hart lane. They have a much stronger squad than us, were able to bring in four players rested on boxing day, and we lost two key players to injury early on – so we need to keep it in perspective. Let’s hope we will have a stronger squad again by the time we face Wolves on January 10th.
But today we can put the league to one side anyway and savour what ought to be quite a spectacle in the FA Cup. Neither team will want to add more fixtures to their schedule unnecessarily so both will certainly be playing an attacking game to force a win. We have the psychological advantage of going into the game as underdogs on our home patch, with our home crowd as our 12th man, and in the knowledge that when Arsenal came here in the league game we gave them a mighty fright in the second half and they were the ones clinging on near the end for a point even though we were down to 10 men.
We need to start with our best team but be prepared, if we are clearly heading for defeat, to give a couple of subs a proper run out, to prepare them for league action, especially Nouble. With Franco struggling to maintain his strength as a lone striker, and Carlton and Zavon still sidelined we need more options up front and Nouble could be an important player for us in the second half of the season, but he needs to get the chance to play more than a couple of minutes at the end of a game.
You don’t need me to tell you how important January is to the future of the club. We can do all the speculating we like but won’t really know what kind of shakedown will have been effected until January 31st. We may get hints today though – if certain of our stars don’t appear and we are fobbed off with excuses like “a cold”, “flu” or “a virus”. You don’t need to use a translation search engine like “babel fish” to know that this means “We’re selling them, despite any of Duckbrain’s promises, and we get more money if they are not cup-tied”.
Anyway, after the home game against Chelsea we have shown that we can play without fear against big clubs at Upton Park and I fancy that we’ll give Arsenal a run for their money today with Diamanti being our surprise package I haven’t been to Wembley for a while – and that’s been mainly to visit my dentist. I would love another trip there that doesn’t involve excruciating pain. And I’m old enough to remember seeing Billy Bonds holding the cup there. So come on West Ham, show us what you can do. Get out there and kick some arse! COYI!!!!!
It's what you do next Saturday
OLAS 474 December 26th 2009
By the smiles at the end of the game you’d think we had won handsomely but psychologically the single point we gained from last Sunday’s 1-1 draw was worth as much as a victory. The extraordinary results on Saturday with Portsmouth winning comfortably against Liverpool and Fulham hammering Man U simply built up the pressure for our game against Chelsea. Portsmouth were now level with us on points at the bottom, on the same goal difference, but having scored fewer. So a defeat even by one goal against a free-scoring Chelsea side would have made us bottom at Christmas. The statisticians would be out in force gleefully telling us what almost inevitably happens to the team in that position. Meanwhile with Man U faltering but Arsenal keeping pace, Chelsea knew they could extend their lead at the top if they completed what looked on paper like a routine task of rolling over the team that had succumbed so meekly at Birmingham and Bolton recently.
But the unexpected happened. The Hammers played as if their lives depended on it and were unlucky not to snatch all three points. The team kept its shape, was not fazed by losing a key defender early on (Tomkins was magnificent as substitute), worked for each other, ran off the ball to create passing options, harried Chelsea when they were in possession, tackled with fierceness and determination and even won some balls in the air. Most of Chelsea’s efforts were long range and they had few opportunities to plant dangerous crosses. When they did get through, Green was determined no to be beaten making two crucial saves. And going forward Diamanti was inspirational, Franco was always a threat and Noble, Collisson and Parker were outstanding.
And had it stayed at 1-0, I would have been in the money too. Gambling has been part of my family heritage. I always thought my dad should have been given some kind of “lifetime service” award from Ladbrokes, having crossed their threshold religiously every day for decades to make a small investment in their growing empire. When I was very young I would hear my mum ask him how he got on with the horses and he’d invariably answer – “I was winning but then I gave it back”, and for years I thought he was just such an honest decent guy he couldn’t even bear to take his winnings – it was just the idea of winning by forecasting the future that thrilled him. Then one day it dawned on me what “and then I gave it back” really meant! Though he was indeed a thoroughly decent and honest guy from whom I inherited not just a tendency to gamble but support for the underdog, an intolerance of racism, and a quirky sense of humour. Thanks.
My granddad too, on the other side of my family was smitten young with the gambling bug. One of this first jobs was helping to install one-arm-bandits in pubs and his contribution to the Home Front during World War 2 was managing an amusement arcade in East Ham. Throughout his life he couldn’t resist a bet. It got him into trouble in the late 1960s when he was working as a porter in Billingsgate Fish Market, and would sometimes go out on the van, delivering to fishmongers and bringing back their payments to his boss. He had this rather enterprising idea that this money, which was not his, might be used to make more money on the way back if it was invested on the right horse. Trouble is he knew fish better than he knew horses. He blew the money, and I guess his face would have been as red as smoked salmon as he tried to explain what happened to it. His boss took him to court and he was lucky to escape a custodial sentence.
Towards the end, in his mid to late 80s, he was beginning to suffer from dementia and my mum was pulling out all the stops to find him a place in a decent care home. She found one with a special secure unit for people suffering similarly who could easily get lost and confused. On the first day he absconded from the home’s secure unit. No one could find him but he was eventually tracked down in a bookie’s about half a mile away. Now what would be the odds on that? Not too steep I guess.
So as I was walking past William Hill near Queen’s Market on my way to the Chelsea game I had half a mind to have a little flutter on a correct score, but the correct scores going through my head that were most likely and were so unbearable I couldn’t put money on them and I started to walk away. But I was drawn back – as if under the family spell – and once inside I knew I couldn’t bet against West Ham so I wrote two bets – one for West Ham to draw 0-0 and one for West Ham to win 1-0. As you can imagine I got pretty good odds.
I was ecstatic as a pig in shit at half-time to see that not only were we winning but at least one bet was still on. I momentarily thought that it would be so West Ham to score another, trash Chelsea but fuck up my bet too! But I could live with that.
As I handed over my betting slip for West Ham to win or to draw, the guy behind the counter was visibly smiling to himself as if to say “Thanks, mug, do come again”. If you’re employed in that job you are supposed to be professional and look neutral when people put their bets on, however left-field. OK, so in the end they kept my money but it was a mightily close run thing.
As I came out of the ground though, beaming with delight not just at the score but at the manner in which we won that point, the words of one of the world’s great philosophers were in my ears. We‘re not talking Socrates, Descartes, Wittgenstein or Charlie Marx here but that true fount of wisdom, the great and revered Ron Greenwood, who told us:
“Football is a game of tomorrows. It’s what you do next Saturday that counts.”
That could not be more true. Our fantastically hard-worked for and richly deserved point at the expense the league leaders will only truly count if it spearheads an equally committed performance against our lowly rivals Portsmouth – who also head into this encounter on the back of a great result. We have home advantage and the knowledge that on the same weekend last year we ripped them to shreds 4-1 on their manor.
Portsmouth gave warning, though, that they are determined to pull off an unlikely escape and they have sharpshooters up front who can do the business, so it will clearly be a tight game, but we surely have the quality to win.
For me personally it would be the perfect early birthday present. I was born on January 1st and West Ham stuffing Portsmouth will satisfy me more than any other present I might receive marking my 52 years on the planet.
On my actual birthday we are reviving a tradition in our household that has lapsed for a while, of visiting Highgate Cemetery for a walk with friends among the graves of some people who have inspired us. We’ll be among those of Claudia Jones – the American woman deported for political activities who was the moving force behind the Notting Hill Carnival, George Eliot, the female author who needed to adopt a man’s name to get published in Victorian England, Michael Faraday, who discovered electricity, the painter Henry Moore, and of course Karl Marx who knew a thing or two back then of what life promised for ordinary working people under the rule of the bankers and wankers.
What he would have made of those financiers whom OLAS writer Gary Portugal dubs the “Icelanpricks” would have been enlightening. Karl Marx described landlords, as those “who love to reap where they never sowed”, and capital in general as ‘dead labour, which, vampire-like, lives only by sucking living labour”.
We, and the team we love, have undoubtedly been sucked dry, but at least on the pitch last week we saw there is still some fight left. Just 7 points separate 11 teams at our end of the table, so despite the pessimism we have all been expressing there is everything to play for. And we can continue where we left off by winning 2-0 today. Three points and a clean sheet would be worth its weight in gold (and Sullivan).
The team showed in those 90 minutes against Chelsea that they have the wherewithal to rescue us on the pitch. But that is only half the battle. We, the fans, need to be more vocal and act collectively off the pitch, to win back the club that is so important in our lives. Enjoy the game. COYI!!!!!!
By the smiles at the end of the game you’d think we had won handsomely but psychologically the single point we gained from last Sunday’s 1-1 draw was worth as much as a victory. The extraordinary results on Saturday with Portsmouth winning comfortably against Liverpool and Fulham hammering Man U simply built up the pressure for our game against Chelsea. Portsmouth were now level with us on points at the bottom, on the same goal difference, but having scored fewer. So a defeat even by one goal against a free-scoring Chelsea side would have made us bottom at Christmas. The statisticians would be out in force gleefully telling us what almost inevitably happens to the team in that position. Meanwhile with Man U faltering but Arsenal keeping pace, Chelsea knew they could extend their lead at the top if they completed what looked on paper like a routine task of rolling over the team that had succumbed so meekly at Birmingham and Bolton recently.
But the unexpected happened. The Hammers played as if their lives depended on it and were unlucky not to snatch all three points. The team kept its shape, was not fazed by losing a key defender early on (Tomkins was magnificent as substitute), worked for each other, ran off the ball to create passing options, harried Chelsea when they were in possession, tackled with fierceness and determination and even won some balls in the air. Most of Chelsea’s efforts were long range and they had few opportunities to plant dangerous crosses. When they did get through, Green was determined no to be beaten making two crucial saves. And going forward Diamanti was inspirational, Franco was always a threat and Noble, Collisson and Parker were outstanding.
And had it stayed at 1-0, I would have been in the money too. Gambling has been part of my family heritage. I always thought my dad should have been given some kind of “lifetime service” award from Ladbrokes, having crossed their threshold religiously every day for decades to make a small investment in their growing empire. When I was very young I would hear my mum ask him how he got on with the horses and he’d invariably answer – “I was winning but then I gave it back”, and for years I thought he was just such an honest decent guy he couldn’t even bear to take his winnings – it was just the idea of winning by forecasting the future that thrilled him. Then one day it dawned on me what “and then I gave it back” really meant! Though he was indeed a thoroughly decent and honest guy from whom I inherited not just a tendency to gamble but support for the underdog, an intolerance of racism, and a quirky sense of humour. Thanks.
My granddad too, on the other side of my family was smitten young with the gambling bug. One of this first jobs was helping to install one-arm-bandits in pubs and his contribution to the Home Front during World War 2 was managing an amusement arcade in East Ham. Throughout his life he couldn’t resist a bet. It got him into trouble in the late 1960s when he was working as a porter in Billingsgate Fish Market, and would sometimes go out on the van, delivering to fishmongers and bringing back their payments to his boss. He had this rather enterprising idea that this money, which was not his, might be used to make more money on the way back if it was invested on the right horse. Trouble is he knew fish better than he knew horses. He blew the money, and I guess his face would have been as red as smoked salmon as he tried to explain what happened to it. His boss took him to court and he was lucky to escape a custodial sentence.
Towards the end, in his mid to late 80s, he was beginning to suffer from dementia and my mum was pulling out all the stops to find him a place in a decent care home. She found one with a special secure unit for people suffering similarly who could easily get lost and confused. On the first day he absconded from the home’s secure unit. No one could find him but he was eventually tracked down in a bookie’s about half a mile away. Now what would be the odds on that? Not too steep I guess.
So as I was walking past William Hill near Queen’s Market on my way to the Chelsea game I had half a mind to have a little flutter on a correct score, but the correct scores going through my head that were most likely and were so unbearable I couldn’t put money on them and I started to walk away. But I was drawn back – as if under the family spell – and once inside I knew I couldn’t bet against West Ham so I wrote two bets – one for West Ham to draw 0-0 and one for West Ham to win 1-0. As you can imagine I got pretty good odds.
I was ecstatic as a pig in shit at half-time to see that not only were we winning but at least one bet was still on. I momentarily thought that it would be so West Ham to score another, trash Chelsea but fuck up my bet too! But I could live with that.
As I handed over my betting slip for West Ham to win or to draw, the guy behind the counter was visibly smiling to himself as if to say “Thanks, mug, do come again”. If you’re employed in that job you are supposed to be professional and look neutral when people put their bets on, however left-field. OK, so in the end they kept my money but it was a mightily close run thing.
As I came out of the ground though, beaming with delight not just at the score but at the manner in which we won that point, the words of one of the world’s great philosophers were in my ears. We‘re not talking Socrates, Descartes, Wittgenstein or Charlie Marx here but that true fount of wisdom, the great and revered Ron Greenwood, who told us:
“Football is a game of tomorrows. It’s what you do next Saturday that counts.”
That could not be more true. Our fantastically hard-worked for and richly deserved point at the expense the league leaders will only truly count if it spearheads an equally committed performance against our lowly rivals Portsmouth – who also head into this encounter on the back of a great result. We have home advantage and the knowledge that on the same weekend last year we ripped them to shreds 4-1 on their manor.
Portsmouth gave warning, though, that they are determined to pull off an unlikely escape and they have sharpshooters up front who can do the business, so it will clearly be a tight game, but we surely have the quality to win.
For me personally it would be the perfect early birthday present. I was born on January 1st and West Ham stuffing Portsmouth will satisfy me more than any other present I might receive marking my 52 years on the planet.
On my actual birthday we are reviving a tradition in our household that has lapsed for a while, of visiting Highgate Cemetery for a walk with friends among the graves of some people who have inspired us. We’ll be among those of Claudia Jones – the American woman deported for political activities who was the moving force behind the Notting Hill Carnival, George Eliot, the female author who needed to adopt a man’s name to get published in Victorian England, Michael Faraday, who discovered electricity, the painter Henry Moore, and of course Karl Marx who knew a thing or two back then of what life promised for ordinary working people under the rule of the bankers and wankers.
What he would have made of those financiers whom OLAS writer Gary Portugal dubs the “Icelanpricks” would have been enlightening. Karl Marx described landlords, as those “who love to reap where they never sowed”, and capital in general as ‘dead labour, which, vampire-like, lives only by sucking living labour”.
We, and the team we love, have undoubtedly been sucked dry, but at least on the pitch last week we saw there is still some fight left. Just 7 points separate 11 teams at our end of the table, so despite the pessimism we have all been expressing there is everything to play for. And we can continue where we left off by winning 2-0 today. Three points and a clean sheet would be worth its weight in gold (and Sullivan).
The team showed in those 90 minutes against Chelsea that they have the wherewithal to rescue us on the pitch. But that is only half the battle. We, the fans, need to be more vocal and act collectively off the pitch, to win back the club that is so important in our lives. Enjoy the game. COYI!!!!!!
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