OLAS 476 10th January 2010
If I wanted to see “A Comedy of Errors” I would have gone to Stratford upon Avon, but it seems that I managed to find it nevertheless just a stone’s throw from Stratford East London last Sunday.
Arsenal’s mainly second-string side were there for the taking. Whinger knows that with Man U and Chelsea sliding, they have got a serious chance of challenging for the league title. The F A Cup is one diversion they needed like a hole in the head. And they don’t have a terribly good cup record against West Ham.
For much of the game they spurned our generosity. We repeatedly handed them the ball on a plate, gave them all the space in the world to move from defence to attack, but when they got down our end of the pitch they opted to belt the ball over the bar, or crash it against our defenders. And for a side whose attacking game depends on precision passing, they often failed to make their last pass tell. With Arsenal’s profligacy, our patched up side were muddling through and occasionally threatening their goal through Diamianti and Junior Stan, but unfortunately we found their goalie, Fabianski in rather fab form. A goal out of nothing in the 45th minute provided the prefect platform to wrap the game up in the second half.
Halfway through the second half you could see the frustration on the faces of the Arsenal players and Whinger was clearly getting more and more twitchy and agitated. He started pacing quickly, then stopping to hold his hands out like a scarecrow. He’d be quite good as a scarecrow – he would frighten me and small children any day. The Arsenal crowd, very upbeat early on and taunting the home fans for being so hushed, had all gone rather quiet. We were still in front and it looked like staying that way.
To be honest neither team deserved to win, as the quality for much of the match was poor. But with 15 minutes to go I actually fooled myself into thinking it was going to happen for us, that despite a display full of huff and puff but hopelessly mistimed or panicked passes and needless mistakes, it was seriously looking as if effort rather than skill would see us through, that we would hang on.
My mind began to wander. Having very much enjoyed a two week break from the school where I teach in Islington which is, not surprisingly dominated by Arsenal supporters, I was imagining the scenario and looking forward to the pleasure that only a 52-year-old West Ham fan could get by winding up a few of the primary age kids who take it all too seriously. But within a few minutes, Arsenal’s substitutions had made the difference, comedy had turned to tragedy we were dumped out of the cup. Wembley has been officially struck off my list of exotic destinations this year.
Once Arsenal had equalised we all knew which way it was going to go. The only surprise was how quickly Arsenal grabbed their second. No doubt many of our supporters will be relieved that we won’t be adding a replay to our fixture list. After all, our players are dropping like flies, while others are getting ready to make themselves pretty for the shop window for the post Christmas sales to bigger and more ambitious clubs. We knew we were going to be without Franco (suspension), the injured Cole, Hines and Parker, and Noble, who took quite a knock against Portsmouth. But what about Jack Collisson? His non-appearance and therefore non-cup-tied status will certainly keep me worried until the end of the window.
Still it’s nice to know that Zola uses my column to help him with the team selection. I had proposed that Daprella was given a try out and made the case for Nouble to join him on the pitch against Arsenal. One of them made a big impression and I had been expecting it to be Nouble. As it was he seemed completely overawed with the occasion, frozen by nerves, and increasingly clumsy as he tried to get things right. There was so much expectation but he made a bit of a hash of it, and he must be kicking himself and feeling pretty low.
As fans we need to forget this performance, mark it down to inexperience, and treat his next start as his real debut. He looked desperate to do well but clueless as to how to go about it. Yet when he last had a proper run out – against Millwall earlier in the season – he showed considerable promise. So I think we need a bit of understanding and a bit of encouragement for a youngster who is physically mature but wasn’t really prepared psychologically for what he was going to be involved in during this cup tie. If Gary’s info on Cole’s injury is true – and with Franco no spring chicken – we may be seeing quite a lot of Nouble in the next two months.
Daprella – also a youngster – was far more prepared for the occasion and gave a fine display. He looked comfortable on the ball and was not afraid to burst forward. it was a performance that made me feel much less disturbed by Ilunga’s injury tendencies. Most importantly it proves we have adequate cover without having to resort to the piss-awful Spector – who is possibly the crappiest full back I’ve ever seen at Upton Park (or in any park come to that) - and I’ve been coming here since ’66.
Other players who can hold their head up high from the Arsenal game are Faubert (apart from a couple of lapses), Behrami who gave a high energy Billy Bonds- type performance and Junior Stanislas who drove forward whenever possible and was unlucky not to get on the scoresheet.
Diamanti was excellent for the first hour then faded. Jiminez gave a more committed performance, with some nice touches, but has not convinced me yet. Upson did well but looked as if he was going through the motions. He showed absolutely nothing as a captain who is supposed to be motivating the players around him. Tomkins won some crucial balls in the air but his distribution on the ground was very poor. Greeny made a couple of fine saves but his kicking was inconsistent and his ability on crosses was again left open to question. Kovac underperformed once more over the 90 minutes, though he had a better first half.
Despite being dumped out of the cup, one bright spot was the return of Freddie Sears who looked lively and confident, though his failure to hit the net on any occasion during his loan period at Palace does not bode well. But he seemed to be very glad to be back playing in the West Ham colours again. I was tempted to say he’s grown as a player but he still looks three foot six to me, so I won’t say it.
Today, it is back to the relegation dogfight. And for the benefit of any pedants out there, apparently you can have a dogfight with wolves on account of them being from the same species as dogs (Canis Lupus – if you really want to know). What did you think they were - some kid of angry short haired sheep? Some scientists claim that Dingos are a kind of missing link in the history of the connection between wolves and dogs. And I thought it was a game for bored grannies who had outlived their husbands – shows how much I know.
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Wolves at Upton Park (though I’ve seen a few dogs…) and I think Derek Dougan was playing last time out. Now that dates me. But I like Mick McCarthy with his mis-shapen nose and great northern drone when he’s interviewed. and if they weren’t in the diogfight with us I’d want them to stay up. But there can’t be any room at all for sentiment today.
We did a job on them in the first game of the season and we need to repeat that in our first home league encounter of 2010. January and February are all about points, and much as I hate the “targets” and “assessment” culture that is invading every aspect of our lives poisoning so many ordinary simple human interactions, I hope that Gianfranco has set the team some tough targets for the number of points to be in our possession come the end of February. We have to look at getting a minimum of 12 points from the 8 games between now and then – and if possible, more t help us climb away form the relegation zone.
So West Ham – what will you serve up today – comedy, tragedy – or - a spellbinding performance of what Alf Garnett described as “working class ballet”? The stage is set – don’t let us down.
Saturday 9 January 2010
Let's kick arse
OLAS 475 January 3rd 2010
Most people like new experiences. Who can forget the first time they tasted ice cream, flew on an aeroplane, or robbed a bank? For Robert Green, getting through 90 minutes of football without having to collect the ball from the back of the net would have been such a distant fading memory, that it must have felt like a totally new and unearthly experience. Though he had made a hash of a couple of clearances, he was unlucky to be beaten once by Chelsea – and then only from the penalty spot – but against Portsmouth he was much more commanding, especially after West Ham decided to sit back on their lead and surrender Pompey the initiative in the second half. So his clean sheet on Boxing Day could not have come at a more opportune moment.
If someone stopped you in the street and asked you, as a West Ham supporter, whether you would rather beat Chelsea or Portsmouth, well, nine times out of ten you would surely say Chelsea. The thought of getting one over those rich arrogant tossers is very appealing, while Portsmouth are quite cuddly really. But when you stop and think about our current predicament in the league and who we really need to be taking points from. You realise how valuable it was that, if we were taking four points from these encounters, it was so much better that we failed to beat Chelsea but succeeded in beating Portsmouth.
It was an odd game against Pompey, given how much urgency we had shown against Chelsea, as this one counted far more. It was played at a snail’s pace with neither team showing much adventure, though West Ham were good in parts, and deserved to be ahead at the interval if only for showing slightly more endeavour and purpose. We came good again towards the end and with more accurate finishing would have won by three or four goals. Collisson had three good attempts in the game and should have buried at least one. But that is the part of his game that he most needs to improve.
Collisson has the potential to be a West Ham great if we can hang on to him. He is the nearest thing I have seen over the years to another Trevor Brooking – extremely poised and unselfish, very thoughtful when the ball arrives at his feet, drifts nimbly past defenders, reads the game extremely well and ghosts into good positions. Clever Trevor also didn’t’ score many goals but then again he had Geoff Hurst/Clyde Best/Jimmy Greaves/Pop Robson to take responsibility for putting the ball in the back of the net. At this moment we have one ageing Mexican international and an injury list as long as a blue whale’s penis (which I have been assured on good authority, rather than personal experience, is pretty substantial)
After the Portsmouth game the friendly press were bigging up Kovac and Jiminez. Now many philosophers will argue that actuality as perceived by different individuals is a tricky thing and everyone sees things through their own window, but I honestly don’t know which window some of these characters are using. Yes Kovac took his goal superbly, and showed other premier-level strikers how to bury a header, but for a fella his size he should really be bossing the midfield. And Patrick Viera he isn’t. His tackles are often lightweight and half-hearted, his vision poor, his timing of passes frequently lacking in awareness. I don’t doubt his effort or commitment – just his ability – and cannot fathom how he captained Spartak Moscow, unless he won that title in a raffle. I hope he will prove me wrong in 2010 and show that my window on reality has the curtains drawn and that the plaudits he has received recently are totally merited.
When Jiminez first kicked a ball for the Hammers in the pre-season friendly against Napoli I was impressed but maybe it was another trick of the reality lens, with the other players being relatively less fit or bothered. In the cut and thrust of the Premier League he looks so pedestrian. Many of his passes come to nothing; and when he wants to receive a pass, if the ball doesn’t come right to his feet, he makes little effort to win it. He made two good contributions against Portsmouth and luckily for him they both ended with goals – getting bundled over for our penalty in the first instance and floating a superb curling free kick for Kovac to head in for the second. Between those moments I saw a rather indifferent performance from a player who either lacks confidence, commitment or ability. If I’m wrong, Luis, then prove it in the new year. I want you to succeed. But at the moment I would rather see Junior Stanislas in your place because he knows how to advance up the pitch rather than go square and how to strike a bit of fear into defences with his aggressive forward runs.
On a more positive note, the return of Upson has seen the defence beginning to operate again much more like a unit. Tomkins is developing extremely well given his age and experience and Faubert and Ilunga are playing more consistently, though with Ilunga picking up yet another injury that will be disrupted again. I hope we are not going to see the imposter Jonathan Spector out there today, trying to fool the public again that he is a professional footballer. Some players suffer from being one-footed – Spector suffers from being no-footed. Why not give Daprella a go?
The crucial aspect of the win over Portsmouth was that it lifted West ham out of the bottom three, a position that at the time of writing we have sustained despite the fairly inevitable setback against high-riding Spurs. We go into 2010 one point above the drop zone but only four points off 11th place and with a substantially better goal difference than four of the teams immediately above us, which at the end of the day is worth a point. so I’m less pessimistic than I was a few weeks ago.
I know how much the annual fixtures with Spurs mean to every West Ham fan, but I’m not too disheartened by our failure at Shite Hart lane. They have a much stronger squad than us, were able to bring in four players rested on boxing day, and we lost two key players to injury early on – so we need to keep it in perspective. Let’s hope we will have a stronger squad again by the time we face Wolves on January 10th.
But today we can put the league to one side anyway and savour what ought to be quite a spectacle in the FA Cup. Neither team will want to add more fixtures to their schedule unnecessarily so both will certainly be playing an attacking game to force a win. We have the psychological advantage of going into the game as underdogs on our home patch, with our home crowd as our 12th man, and in the knowledge that when Arsenal came here in the league game we gave them a mighty fright in the second half and they were the ones clinging on near the end for a point even though we were down to 10 men.
We need to start with our best team but be prepared, if we are clearly heading for defeat, to give a couple of subs a proper run out, to prepare them for league action, especially Nouble. With Franco struggling to maintain his strength as a lone striker, and Carlton and Zavon still sidelined we need more options up front and Nouble could be an important player for us in the second half of the season, but he needs to get the chance to play more than a couple of minutes at the end of a game.
You don’t need me to tell you how important January is to the future of the club. We can do all the speculating we like but won’t really know what kind of shakedown will have been effected until January 31st. We may get hints today though – if certain of our stars don’t appear and we are fobbed off with excuses like “a cold”, “flu” or “a virus”. You don’t need to use a translation search engine like “babel fish” to know that this means “We’re selling them, despite any of Duckbrain’s promises, and we get more money if they are not cup-tied”.
Anyway, after the home game against Chelsea we have shown that we can play without fear against big clubs at Upton Park and I fancy that we’ll give Arsenal a run for their money today with Diamanti being our surprise package I haven’t been to Wembley for a while – and that’s been mainly to visit my dentist. I would love another trip there that doesn’t involve excruciating pain. And I’m old enough to remember seeing Billy Bonds holding the cup there. So come on West Ham, show us what you can do. Get out there and kick some arse! COYI!!!!!
Most people like new experiences. Who can forget the first time they tasted ice cream, flew on an aeroplane, or robbed a bank? For Robert Green, getting through 90 minutes of football without having to collect the ball from the back of the net would have been such a distant fading memory, that it must have felt like a totally new and unearthly experience. Though he had made a hash of a couple of clearances, he was unlucky to be beaten once by Chelsea – and then only from the penalty spot – but against Portsmouth he was much more commanding, especially after West Ham decided to sit back on their lead and surrender Pompey the initiative in the second half. So his clean sheet on Boxing Day could not have come at a more opportune moment.
If someone stopped you in the street and asked you, as a West Ham supporter, whether you would rather beat Chelsea or Portsmouth, well, nine times out of ten you would surely say Chelsea. The thought of getting one over those rich arrogant tossers is very appealing, while Portsmouth are quite cuddly really. But when you stop and think about our current predicament in the league and who we really need to be taking points from. You realise how valuable it was that, if we were taking four points from these encounters, it was so much better that we failed to beat Chelsea but succeeded in beating Portsmouth.
It was an odd game against Pompey, given how much urgency we had shown against Chelsea, as this one counted far more. It was played at a snail’s pace with neither team showing much adventure, though West Ham were good in parts, and deserved to be ahead at the interval if only for showing slightly more endeavour and purpose. We came good again towards the end and with more accurate finishing would have won by three or four goals. Collisson had three good attempts in the game and should have buried at least one. But that is the part of his game that he most needs to improve.
Collisson has the potential to be a West Ham great if we can hang on to him. He is the nearest thing I have seen over the years to another Trevor Brooking – extremely poised and unselfish, very thoughtful when the ball arrives at his feet, drifts nimbly past defenders, reads the game extremely well and ghosts into good positions. Clever Trevor also didn’t’ score many goals but then again he had Geoff Hurst/Clyde Best/Jimmy Greaves/Pop Robson to take responsibility for putting the ball in the back of the net. At this moment we have one ageing Mexican international and an injury list as long as a blue whale’s penis (which I have been assured on good authority, rather than personal experience, is pretty substantial)
After the Portsmouth game the friendly press were bigging up Kovac and Jiminez. Now many philosophers will argue that actuality as perceived by different individuals is a tricky thing and everyone sees things through their own window, but I honestly don’t know which window some of these characters are using. Yes Kovac took his goal superbly, and showed other premier-level strikers how to bury a header, but for a fella his size he should really be bossing the midfield. And Patrick Viera he isn’t. His tackles are often lightweight and half-hearted, his vision poor, his timing of passes frequently lacking in awareness. I don’t doubt his effort or commitment – just his ability – and cannot fathom how he captained Spartak Moscow, unless he won that title in a raffle. I hope he will prove me wrong in 2010 and show that my window on reality has the curtains drawn and that the plaudits he has received recently are totally merited.
When Jiminez first kicked a ball for the Hammers in the pre-season friendly against Napoli I was impressed but maybe it was another trick of the reality lens, with the other players being relatively less fit or bothered. In the cut and thrust of the Premier League he looks so pedestrian. Many of his passes come to nothing; and when he wants to receive a pass, if the ball doesn’t come right to his feet, he makes little effort to win it. He made two good contributions against Portsmouth and luckily for him they both ended with goals – getting bundled over for our penalty in the first instance and floating a superb curling free kick for Kovac to head in for the second. Between those moments I saw a rather indifferent performance from a player who either lacks confidence, commitment or ability. If I’m wrong, Luis, then prove it in the new year. I want you to succeed. But at the moment I would rather see Junior Stanislas in your place because he knows how to advance up the pitch rather than go square and how to strike a bit of fear into defences with his aggressive forward runs.
On a more positive note, the return of Upson has seen the defence beginning to operate again much more like a unit. Tomkins is developing extremely well given his age and experience and Faubert and Ilunga are playing more consistently, though with Ilunga picking up yet another injury that will be disrupted again. I hope we are not going to see the imposter Jonathan Spector out there today, trying to fool the public again that he is a professional footballer. Some players suffer from being one-footed – Spector suffers from being no-footed. Why not give Daprella a go?
The crucial aspect of the win over Portsmouth was that it lifted West ham out of the bottom three, a position that at the time of writing we have sustained despite the fairly inevitable setback against high-riding Spurs. We go into 2010 one point above the drop zone but only four points off 11th place and with a substantially better goal difference than four of the teams immediately above us, which at the end of the day is worth a point. so I’m less pessimistic than I was a few weeks ago.
I know how much the annual fixtures with Spurs mean to every West Ham fan, but I’m not too disheartened by our failure at Shite Hart lane. They have a much stronger squad than us, were able to bring in four players rested on boxing day, and we lost two key players to injury early on – so we need to keep it in perspective. Let’s hope we will have a stronger squad again by the time we face Wolves on January 10th.
But today we can put the league to one side anyway and savour what ought to be quite a spectacle in the FA Cup. Neither team will want to add more fixtures to their schedule unnecessarily so both will certainly be playing an attacking game to force a win. We have the psychological advantage of going into the game as underdogs on our home patch, with our home crowd as our 12th man, and in the knowledge that when Arsenal came here in the league game we gave them a mighty fright in the second half and they were the ones clinging on near the end for a point even though we were down to 10 men.
We need to start with our best team but be prepared, if we are clearly heading for defeat, to give a couple of subs a proper run out, to prepare them for league action, especially Nouble. With Franco struggling to maintain his strength as a lone striker, and Carlton and Zavon still sidelined we need more options up front and Nouble could be an important player for us in the second half of the season, but he needs to get the chance to play more than a couple of minutes at the end of a game.
You don’t need me to tell you how important January is to the future of the club. We can do all the speculating we like but won’t really know what kind of shakedown will have been effected until January 31st. We may get hints today though – if certain of our stars don’t appear and we are fobbed off with excuses like “a cold”, “flu” or “a virus”. You don’t need to use a translation search engine like “babel fish” to know that this means “We’re selling them, despite any of Duckbrain’s promises, and we get more money if they are not cup-tied”.
Anyway, after the home game against Chelsea we have shown that we can play without fear against big clubs at Upton Park and I fancy that we’ll give Arsenal a run for their money today with Diamanti being our surprise package I haven’t been to Wembley for a while – and that’s been mainly to visit my dentist. I would love another trip there that doesn’t involve excruciating pain. And I’m old enough to remember seeing Billy Bonds holding the cup there. So come on West Ham, show us what you can do. Get out there and kick some arse! COYI!!!!!
It's what you do next Saturday
OLAS 474 December 26th 2009
By the smiles at the end of the game you’d think we had won handsomely but psychologically the single point we gained from last Sunday’s 1-1 draw was worth as much as a victory. The extraordinary results on Saturday with Portsmouth winning comfortably against Liverpool and Fulham hammering Man U simply built up the pressure for our game against Chelsea. Portsmouth were now level with us on points at the bottom, on the same goal difference, but having scored fewer. So a defeat even by one goal against a free-scoring Chelsea side would have made us bottom at Christmas. The statisticians would be out in force gleefully telling us what almost inevitably happens to the team in that position. Meanwhile with Man U faltering but Arsenal keeping pace, Chelsea knew they could extend their lead at the top if they completed what looked on paper like a routine task of rolling over the team that had succumbed so meekly at Birmingham and Bolton recently.
But the unexpected happened. The Hammers played as if their lives depended on it and were unlucky not to snatch all three points. The team kept its shape, was not fazed by losing a key defender early on (Tomkins was magnificent as substitute), worked for each other, ran off the ball to create passing options, harried Chelsea when they were in possession, tackled with fierceness and determination and even won some balls in the air. Most of Chelsea’s efforts were long range and they had few opportunities to plant dangerous crosses. When they did get through, Green was determined no to be beaten making two crucial saves. And going forward Diamanti was inspirational, Franco was always a threat and Noble, Collisson and Parker were outstanding.
And had it stayed at 1-0, I would have been in the money too. Gambling has been part of my family heritage. I always thought my dad should have been given some kind of “lifetime service” award from Ladbrokes, having crossed their threshold religiously every day for decades to make a small investment in their growing empire. When I was very young I would hear my mum ask him how he got on with the horses and he’d invariably answer – “I was winning but then I gave it back”, and for years I thought he was just such an honest decent guy he couldn’t even bear to take his winnings – it was just the idea of winning by forecasting the future that thrilled him. Then one day it dawned on me what “and then I gave it back” really meant! Though he was indeed a thoroughly decent and honest guy from whom I inherited not just a tendency to gamble but support for the underdog, an intolerance of racism, and a quirky sense of humour. Thanks.
My granddad too, on the other side of my family was smitten young with the gambling bug. One of this first jobs was helping to install one-arm-bandits in pubs and his contribution to the Home Front during World War 2 was managing an amusement arcade in East Ham. Throughout his life he couldn’t resist a bet. It got him into trouble in the late 1960s when he was working as a porter in Billingsgate Fish Market, and would sometimes go out on the van, delivering to fishmongers and bringing back their payments to his boss. He had this rather enterprising idea that this money, which was not his, might be used to make more money on the way back if it was invested on the right horse. Trouble is he knew fish better than he knew horses. He blew the money, and I guess his face would have been as red as smoked salmon as he tried to explain what happened to it. His boss took him to court and he was lucky to escape a custodial sentence.
Towards the end, in his mid to late 80s, he was beginning to suffer from dementia and my mum was pulling out all the stops to find him a place in a decent care home. She found one with a special secure unit for people suffering similarly who could easily get lost and confused. On the first day he absconded from the home’s secure unit. No one could find him but he was eventually tracked down in a bookie’s about half a mile away. Now what would be the odds on that? Not too steep I guess.
So as I was walking past William Hill near Queen’s Market on my way to the Chelsea game I had half a mind to have a little flutter on a correct score, but the correct scores going through my head that were most likely and were so unbearable I couldn’t put money on them and I started to walk away. But I was drawn back – as if under the family spell – and once inside I knew I couldn’t bet against West Ham so I wrote two bets – one for West Ham to draw 0-0 and one for West Ham to win 1-0. As you can imagine I got pretty good odds.
I was ecstatic as a pig in shit at half-time to see that not only were we winning but at least one bet was still on. I momentarily thought that it would be so West Ham to score another, trash Chelsea but fuck up my bet too! But I could live with that.
As I handed over my betting slip for West Ham to win or to draw, the guy behind the counter was visibly smiling to himself as if to say “Thanks, mug, do come again”. If you’re employed in that job you are supposed to be professional and look neutral when people put their bets on, however left-field. OK, so in the end they kept my money but it was a mightily close run thing.
As I came out of the ground though, beaming with delight not just at the score but at the manner in which we won that point, the words of one of the world’s great philosophers were in my ears. We‘re not talking Socrates, Descartes, Wittgenstein or Charlie Marx here but that true fount of wisdom, the great and revered Ron Greenwood, who told us:
“Football is a game of tomorrows. It’s what you do next Saturday that counts.”
That could not be more true. Our fantastically hard-worked for and richly deserved point at the expense the league leaders will only truly count if it spearheads an equally committed performance against our lowly rivals Portsmouth – who also head into this encounter on the back of a great result. We have home advantage and the knowledge that on the same weekend last year we ripped them to shreds 4-1 on their manor.
Portsmouth gave warning, though, that they are determined to pull off an unlikely escape and they have sharpshooters up front who can do the business, so it will clearly be a tight game, but we surely have the quality to win.
For me personally it would be the perfect early birthday present. I was born on January 1st and West Ham stuffing Portsmouth will satisfy me more than any other present I might receive marking my 52 years on the planet.
On my actual birthday we are reviving a tradition in our household that has lapsed for a while, of visiting Highgate Cemetery for a walk with friends among the graves of some people who have inspired us. We’ll be among those of Claudia Jones – the American woman deported for political activities who was the moving force behind the Notting Hill Carnival, George Eliot, the female author who needed to adopt a man’s name to get published in Victorian England, Michael Faraday, who discovered electricity, the painter Henry Moore, and of course Karl Marx who knew a thing or two back then of what life promised for ordinary working people under the rule of the bankers and wankers.
What he would have made of those financiers whom OLAS writer Gary Portugal dubs the “Icelanpricks” would have been enlightening. Karl Marx described landlords, as those “who love to reap where they never sowed”, and capital in general as ‘dead labour, which, vampire-like, lives only by sucking living labour”.
We, and the team we love, have undoubtedly been sucked dry, but at least on the pitch last week we saw there is still some fight left. Just 7 points separate 11 teams at our end of the table, so despite the pessimism we have all been expressing there is everything to play for. And we can continue where we left off by winning 2-0 today. Three points and a clean sheet would be worth its weight in gold (and Sullivan).
The team showed in those 90 minutes against Chelsea that they have the wherewithal to rescue us on the pitch. But that is only half the battle. We, the fans, need to be more vocal and act collectively off the pitch, to win back the club that is so important in our lives. Enjoy the game. COYI!!!!!!
By the smiles at the end of the game you’d think we had won handsomely but psychologically the single point we gained from last Sunday’s 1-1 draw was worth as much as a victory. The extraordinary results on Saturday with Portsmouth winning comfortably against Liverpool and Fulham hammering Man U simply built up the pressure for our game against Chelsea. Portsmouth were now level with us on points at the bottom, on the same goal difference, but having scored fewer. So a defeat even by one goal against a free-scoring Chelsea side would have made us bottom at Christmas. The statisticians would be out in force gleefully telling us what almost inevitably happens to the team in that position. Meanwhile with Man U faltering but Arsenal keeping pace, Chelsea knew they could extend their lead at the top if they completed what looked on paper like a routine task of rolling over the team that had succumbed so meekly at Birmingham and Bolton recently.
But the unexpected happened. The Hammers played as if their lives depended on it and were unlucky not to snatch all three points. The team kept its shape, was not fazed by losing a key defender early on (Tomkins was magnificent as substitute), worked for each other, ran off the ball to create passing options, harried Chelsea when they were in possession, tackled with fierceness and determination and even won some balls in the air. Most of Chelsea’s efforts were long range and they had few opportunities to plant dangerous crosses. When they did get through, Green was determined no to be beaten making two crucial saves. And going forward Diamanti was inspirational, Franco was always a threat and Noble, Collisson and Parker were outstanding.
And had it stayed at 1-0, I would have been in the money too. Gambling has been part of my family heritage. I always thought my dad should have been given some kind of “lifetime service” award from Ladbrokes, having crossed their threshold religiously every day for decades to make a small investment in their growing empire. When I was very young I would hear my mum ask him how he got on with the horses and he’d invariably answer – “I was winning but then I gave it back”, and for years I thought he was just such an honest decent guy he couldn’t even bear to take his winnings – it was just the idea of winning by forecasting the future that thrilled him. Then one day it dawned on me what “and then I gave it back” really meant! Though he was indeed a thoroughly decent and honest guy from whom I inherited not just a tendency to gamble but support for the underdog, an intolerance of racism, and a quirky sense of humour. Thanks.
My granddad too, on the other side of my family was smitten young with the gambling bug. One of this first jobs was helping to install one-arm-bandits in pubs and his contribution to the Home Front during World War 2 was managing an amusement arcade in East Ham. Throughout his life he couldn’t resist a bet. It got him into trouble in the late 1960s when he was working as a porter in Billingsgate Fish Market, and would sometimes go out on the van, delivering to fishmongers and bringing back their payments to his boss. He had this rather enterprising idea that this money, which was not his, might be used to make more money on the way back if it was invested on the right horse. Trouble is he knew fish better than he knew horses. He blew the money, and I guess his face would have been as red as smoked salmon as he tried to explain what happened to it. His boss took him to court and he was lucky to escape a custodial sentence.
Towards the end, in his mid to late 80s, he was beginning to suffer from dementia and my mum was pulling out all the stops to find him a place in a decent care home. She found one with a special secure unit for people suffering similarly who could easily get lost and confused. On the first day he absconded from the home’s secure unit. No one could find him but he was eventually tracked down in a bookie’s about half a mile away. Now what would be the odds on that? Not too steep I guess.
So as I was walking past William Hill near Queen’s Market on my way to the Chelsea game I had half a mind to have a little flutter on a correct score, but the correct scores going through my head that were most likely and were so unbearable I couldn’t put money on them and I started to walk away. But I was drawn back – as if under the family spell – and once inside I knew I couldn’t bet against West Ham so I wrote two bets – one for West Ham to draw 0-0 and one for West Ham to win 1-0. As you can imagine I got pretty good odds.
I was ecstatic as a pig in shit at half-time to see that not only were we winning but at least one bet was still on. I momentarily thought that it would be so West Ham to score another, trash Chelsea but fuck up my bet too! But I could live with that.
As I handed over my betting slip for West Ham to win or to draw, the guy behind the counter was visibly smiling to himself as if to say “Thanks, mug, do come again”. If you’re employed in that job you are supposed to be professional and look neutral when people put their bets on, however left-field. OK, so in the end they kept my money but it was a mightily close run thing.
As I came out of the ground though, beaming with delight not just at the score but at the manner in which we won that point, the words of one of the world’s great philosophers were in my ears. We‘re not talking Socrates, Descartes, Wittgenstein or Charlie Marx here but that true fount of wisdom, the great and revered Ron Greenwood, who told us:
“Football is a game of tomorrows. It’s what you do next Saturday that counts.”
That could not be more true. Our fantastically hard-worked for and richly deserved point at the expense the league leaders will only truly count if it spearheads an equally committed performance against our lowly rivals Portsmouth – who also head into this encounter on the back of a great result. We have home advantage and the knowledge that on the same weekend last year we ripped them to shreds 4-1 on their manor.
Portsmouth gave warning, though, that they are determined to pull off an unlikely escape and they have sharpshooters up front who can do the business, so it will clearly be a tight game, but we surely have the quality to win.
For me personally it would be the perfect early birthday present. I was born on January 1st and West Ham stuffing Portsmouth will satisfy me more than any other present I might receive marking my 52 years on the planet.
On my actual birthday we are reviving a tradition in our household that has lapsed for a while, of visiting Highgate Cemetery for a walk with friends among the graves of some people who have inspired us. We’ll be among those of Claudia Jones – the American woman deported for political activities who was the moving force behind the Notting Hill Carnival, George Eliot, the female author who needed to adopt a man’s name to get published in Victorian England, Michael Faraday, who discovered electricity, the painter Henry Moore, and of course Karl Marx who knew a thing or two back then of what life promised for ordinary working people under the rule of the bankers and wankers.
What he would have made of those financiers whom OLAS writer Gary Portugal dubs the “Icelanpricks” would have been enlightening. Karl Marx described landlords, as those “who love to reap where they never sowed”, and capital in general as ‘dead labour, which, vampire-like, lives only by sucking living labour”.
We, and the team we love, have undoubtedly been sucked dry, but at least on the pitch last week we saw there is still some fight left. Just 7 points separate 11 teams at our end of the table, so despite the pessimism we have all been expressing there is everything to play for. And we can continue where we left off by winning 2-0 today. Three points and a clean sheet would be worth its weight in gold (and Sullivan).
The team showed in those 90 minutes against Chelsea that they have the wherewithal to rescue us on the pitch. But that is only half the battle. We, the fans, need to be more vocal and act collectively off the pitch, to win back the club that is so important in our lives. Enjoy the game. COYI!!!!!!
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