Honouring the past

OLAS 466 October 4th 2009

I have a strange recurring experience. I go to an absorbing game of football where West Ham play Liverpool and we lose a high-scoring game. And yet, as the whistle goes and I start to walk away, I feel almost elated, as if we have won. It first happened to me at Cardiff in 2006 and it happened again at Upton Park a couple of weeks ago.

I’ve always admired the way Liverpool play football, battling to win every 50/50 ball then driving forward very directly with quick crisp passes on the ground, lots of overlapping movement, clever balls into space for runners, quality crosses right into the danger area…and partly my elation is that we have battled them at their own game showing that we can also play this kind of game even though our players are younger, less experienced and much less valuable on the transfer market.

To be honest I felt Liverpool deserved to win last time round at Upton Park (not at Cardiff though!) but only just, and a draw would not have been an unfair result. At 25 minutes in, with two of our top players having departed the field (Upson and Behrami) and already a goal down we could have been in for a hammering but we never lost heart. Players such as Zavon Hines and Diamanti on his home debut, gave their all, and showed a lot of skilful touches. For most of the game Faubert was a revelation, though he occasionally remembered that he was the kind of player who wins a tackle well but then give the ball right back to the opposition. The midfield and defence blocked shot after shot, and when we came forward we looked threatening. Zavon was very unlucky with the shot that came back off the post just two minutes in. Most of the time they had to foul him to stop him surging forward, and we made Reina work hard all day.

Where we failed was in giving the ball away cheaply when we relied on playing over-long, over-hopeful passes, and in not having players keeping close enough to Cole to benefit when he won and held the ball in threatening positions in the final third. Our other failure was in allowing any team whether it was Liverpool or Leyton Orient, to get a free header for a goal direct from a corner. Good defending should always prevent that from happening.

The other plus was the atmosphere. The crowd responded to the effort being shown on the pitch and really got behind the team, willing them to stay in contention, and rightly applauded their efforts at half-time when we were level and at full time although we had lost.

The only really gutting moment for me was before the game as we applauded three ex-Hammers returning in Liverpool colours – Benayoun, Johnson and Mascherano. I stood reflecting on the lack of ambition, the poor decisions and the financial disasters and that have enabled us to lose such talents and many others in the last few years, but chuckled to myself that when we did have a talent like Mascherano here, he was kept on the bench by Hayden Mullins dull but consistent performances and Pards’ lack of imagination.

I would love to say, with the optimists, that if we play like that against lesser teams we won’t have too many problems this year, but the facts so far don’t bear this out. Crap performances at Wigan and Blackburn, without a goal to show, and being dumped out the cup by a team as uninspiring and lacking in talent as Bolton puts our performance against Liverpool into perspective. We always seem to raise our game against Liverpool but somehow Zola and Clarke need to ensure that level of performance is not kept as an occasional surprise but reveals itself consistently.

Which is why our tepid showing at Citeh was such a worry too. For all the hype and the points they have amassed so far I don’t regard them as one of the top teams. OK, they have a billionaire who managed not to lose all his gelt in the credit crunch, and they have splashed out on bringing some top players but they are riding on a feelgood factor rather than properly gelling as a team, and having Bellamy in the pack is sure to inflame dressing room rivalries when they suffer a couple of defeats – which they will. We had no reason to fear them but surrendered so meekly. We gifted them the goals, the killer third being the worst giveaway, coming as it did after City had stepped off the gas and we had looked the brighter team after the break and done most of the pressing.

As Citeh were about to float in the free kick that Tevez nodded home our defenders took no notice at all of where any of their forwards were standing, and if Tevez had missed it there were two other City players waiting in the queue with no one remotely near them to challenge. If ever there was a moment that underlined the sheer stupidity and myopia of letting the Ginger Pele go, this was it.

Not only was Ginge a tower of strength in the air but also he showed tenaciousness and a desire never to be beaten on the ground that was lacking almost throughout the team on Monday. Apart from Diamanti and Scotty Parker, who was showing any determination in 50/50 tackles?

There were so few positives to take from that game except the fact that we looked much more dangerous at set pieces than we have for donkeys. Noble’s corners and Diamanti’s free kicks put the ball right into the danger area and gave us chances to profit from them. We didn’t and the rest was shit to put it mildly.

I thought I was going to have to watch the game in a pub, and round where I live its mostly Arsenal and Spurs fans – who would have been gloating – but it seems that Virgin have upgraded our TV package, and I now have ESPN at home. So when I am watching the Hammers I can throw things at my own TV in the comfort of my own living room. I’ll start collecting some things to throw now because I suspect this will not be the last of our abject Monday night performances.

Makes a welcome change for Virgin to come up trumps for once. My experience of them in every other regard has been deeply unsatisfying, not least on their trains, leaving me to rue how, somewhat ironically, if you rely on Virgin, you are truly fucked.

And so to our first crucial relegation encounter, an East End - West End battle with Fulham on October 4th. I didn’t think I would be writing that sentence with the season just a few weeks old. But it is better to face reality early on than wait for it to smack you round the chops later.

October 4th is a day with a bit of history in the East End – a day when a great victory is celebrated. It was on October 4th 1936 that East Enders poured onto the streets to send Oswald Mosley and his fascist Blackshirts packing. Thoroughly humiliated, they scuttled back west to their sewers. United in adversity, East Enders worked tremendously hard for each other that day. Let’s hope that the East End can honour the past and bring about a united success today and send Fulham scuttling back west as miserable as old Ossie was that day.

Fulham surprised a lot of people last year with their successful push for Europe and they showed the dizzy heights could be achieved with limited budgets and a manager with a funny face (as opposed to Spurs who unfortunately are showing what can be done with unlimited budgets and a manager with a funny face). I won’t be quite so gutted at seeing Fulham’s trio of ex-hammers, as I think we have found able replacements for them. None of them were great footballers but I still feel positively towards them. Paintsil was often played out of position here and not surprisingly didn’t develop consistency. Bobby Z always gave 110% but was always happier with a Rugby goal. Paul Konchesky was given a hard time by the fans and not treated at all well by that halfwit Curbishley. I rated Konchesky and liked the fact that he looked like Al Murray the Pub Landlord. Lots of left backs we have had here over the years have suffered mainly from not being Julian Dicks or the original Frank Lampard. I like our current incumbent – Herita Illunga – especially for the way he goes forward, but I can’t pretend that he makes fewer mistakes than Konchesky.

I am guessing that my fellow scribblers will over-use the phrase “must-win game” about today’s encounter, and being a trend-setter rather than a follower of fashion you won’t catch me doing that. For me this is not so much a “must-win game” as “must-not-lose-under-any-circumstances-you-useless-arseholes”. Like picking your nose/belly-button/ears/between your toes (delete as appropriate) losing become s a nasty, smelly habit and the first step is to break the pattern. Of course winning would be sweeter and is well within our grasp. Outside Left’s three steps to victory are:
1. Defenders - keep at least one of your eyes open when wandering aimlessly around the penalty area especially at set pieces
2. Midfield - look for the players in claret with a hint of sky blue to pass to and make sure it reaches in front of them not behind them
3. Attackers – don’t wait 5 minutes or stop to adjust your hair when you have a chance but go for it straight away and make their goalie work for his wages.

How I never became a football coach I just don’t know. One of life’s mysteries. Anyway, we’ll see how much they respond to my advice. Enjoy the game and don’t pick your belly-button. COYI!!!