OLAS 457 March 16th 2009
Geezers from the East End don’t get a chance to feature on telly too often. Wrong accent no doubt, but one who gets a bit more airtime than others is Bob Crow – General Secretary of the RMT trade union. Brought up in Shadwell, these days he lives in Woodford but his accent is unmistakably East End. A lot of people aren’t that keen on him; they see him as something akin to the hard-nosed, totally intransigent, stereotyped trade unionist in Peter Sellers’ “I’m All Right Jack”, but I had the chance to spend a few hours in his company last week – and reckon he’s actually a top guy. He’s sharp and witty, interesting and very well read.
When I’m not writing for OLAS, one of the things I do to earn a crust is lead historical walks of the East End. Last year I wrote to some trade unions to see if they were interested. After all, trade unions played a crucial role in raising the standard of living for many East Enders. Anyway, the RMT were the first ones to make a booking. So Bob C and around 20 crew from their office turned up. He’s very personable – and I assumed from where he grew up and his general manner, that he must be West Ham. I was wrong. Over a curry after the walk I asked him if he follows the footie. He said he was Millwall! He then tested me on which team I supported. When I told him West Ham, he came back quick as a flash: “I liked you up to that point, Dave!” Some of his crew though were definitely West Ham – with a perfectly acceptable soft spot for Dagenham and Redbridge too – a bit like my soft spot for Leyton Orient that goes back to the ‘60s.
Now I’ve only ever met two other decent Millwall fans. One is a really dedicated teacher at the comprehensive my kids went to, who is not impressed with the obsession with academic qualifications and goes the extra mile to ensure that non-academic kids get proper life opportunities and develop self-respect too. The other is a rat catcher called Paul who misspent his youth in the Young National Front before giving even more years of graft to the cause of anti-fascism. And here’s a connection. Because if there is one respect in which Bob Crow is certainly not like a lot of other Millwall tossers past and present, it is that he is a deadly serious anti-fascist. And he knows that the next couple of months are crucial for campaigns to keep the BNP from winning European seats – which unfortunately is looking on the cards. And a couple (or more) Euro seats will bring in much more money and prestige for these political numskulls.
Given the support they have had in Barking in recent years, it is surely the case that the other loyalty some BNP voters hold to is the same one as us –West Ham Football Club. Although you have to wonder what their West Ham support consists of, because they could hardly cheer for the players who are immigrants or children of immigrants such as our newest great prospect Savio, or Carlton Cole or Herita Ilunga, not to mention Keiron Dyer or some of our youth prospects coming through like Zavon Hines and Bondz N’Gala. And some of the white immigrants such as Lucas Neill, Valon Behrami, Jan Latuvska probably tax their analytical skills too. If you hate immigrants, what happens if their skin is not too dark? They are still bloody foreigners… Though you wonder where some of these BNP characters originally came from too. I don’t suppose their ancestors lived thousands of yeas ago in caves in Hornchurch or Romford. And I’m willing to bet a bob or two that some of them are no more solidly British than St George was. He is generally believed to be Turkish or Persian. So maybe if they ever do get to power they’ll chuck themselves out. We can’t afford to test that one though.
Our club is bang in the middle of Newham and Newham today is a really multicultural area. Living cheek by jowl with the older English and Irish communities you have families from Angola, Eritrea and Tanzania, Taiwan, Malaysia, India, Poland, Italy, Turkey, Albania the Caribbean, Pakistan and Bangladesh – and gradually our fan base will start to reflect that more and more. and maybe the players too. We certainly have a more internationally mixed squad than in previous decades so, in that sense, the BNP are already yesterday’s grumpy old bastards fighting for an imaginary purer past, rather than the party of the future. But it is the damage they can do in the present that worries me.
Back on the pitch we’ve had two great results and lots of drama. The victory over Bellend’s Citeh was richly deserved and incredibly hard-worked for. It was a performance of patience and determination crowned with a beautifully taken goal by Jack Collison. Bellend hardly got a look in and not surprisingly was substituted in the second half. If he thought he was moving up in the world, instead of just moving north, he got a serious reality check.
Behrami’s injury was a terrible blow but it meant that Savio entered the fray earlier than anticipated and he gave us that extra dimension going forward that we were lacking. He deserves to be in the starting line-up. If the quick and clever passing movement that led to Savio’s shot being parried and Collison’s cool chip typified the West Ham way, then what can you say about Carlton’s goal at Wigan? This was made in Chadwell Heath, 68 vintage. Mesmerising one touch passing, with the ball never leaving the ground, and a curling 20-yard shot. Quintessential West Ham. When I heard that Carlton had been sent off three minutes later I feared the worst, but once the boy in black sent off one of their’s too I was confident we would hold on.
If the referee of the Citeh game was atrocious to both teams, hardly getting one decision right, the refereeing at Wigan was completely farcical. Carlton’s first yellow was a legitimate tackle in which he made fair contact with the ball. You shouldn’t get booked just for having long legs. His second challenge was clumsy but without any malice. Mind you even if Carlton should have stayed on, Scotty Parker and Lucas Neill were rather lucky not to be sent for an early bath. Scotty seems to have lost al composure in theses situations, and as for Lucas, who strangely is playing some good football these days, those old fouling habits seem hard to shed.
So after the last league game we find ourselves in 7th place, a few points ahead of our rivals. And given which clubs are fighting out the F A Cup, a European place is beckoning. Not everyone wants it. For a club with a thin squad, a place in European football can be poisoned chalice. We have a thin squad (though less than thin fans – still who am I to talk?) but a European place might just be the bait that can lure quality players keen to play for Franco Zola. I hope that, despite the injury/suspensions list increasing, we really go for it. And most importantly, I hope we maintain a healthy lead over Spurs points tally.
Harry is targeting Europe too. He doesn’t realise, or at least publicly acknowledge, that half his players are talented and half of them are crap. He might think they are out the relegation dogfight. I don’t think they are yet. A European place would be a bonus given that we started this season under Turdishley and his same-old, same old, boring style. Last year Turdishley took us to mid table and his ambition seemed to be limited to keeping us there. Franco wants to push on, to compete with and learn from the best. We’ve got nearly 40 points and there are 10 games to go starting with tonight.
Franco’s been a bit reluctant to upset a settled team with too many changes but tonight he has no choice – no Cole, Behrami or Collison. Freddie Sears has been getting a lot of stick in these columns and on the fans websites but he just needs a goal to regain his self-confidence. A defence as generous as West Brom’s might afford him that opportunity. I’d rather have his energy and drive up front than Diego Tristan who reminds me of a waxwork statue, though with less mobility.
I feel a bit sorry for West Brom, who generally try to play attacking football, but with few players of premiership quality. The teams above them are enjoying a mini-revival and they are dropping off from the pack. They are going to have to try to win tonight and that will give us the opportunities we need. So, 3-1 tonight with Savio on the score-sheet landing one in the eye for those in Barking who are barking seriously up the wrong tree.
Monday, 16 March 2009
Tuesday, 3 March 2009
Love and hate
OLAS 456 March 1st 2009
From the moment that Craig Bellamy was out the exit door and scraping his knuckles along Green Street looking for the way north, no one has been waiting for his return to Upton Park in opposing colours more than the Upton Park faithful. We never ignore an ex-Hammer.
For those who gave their all for the club and chose to move on, but did so without acrimony, we are extraordinarily generous in our welcome and greetings. Just recently Carlos Tevez, Michael Carrick and Rio Ferdinand seemed quite overwhelmed by the warmth and degree of applause they received. When Bobby Zee returned with Fulham we applauded him as he stepped out, laughed as he blasted the ball into the Centenary stand (and remembered why we didn’t need him) but chanted his name with love as he eventually got substituted. Even when they have been gone ages – like Jimmy Bullard who recently stepped out for Hull - they have been remembered with total respect.
That doesn’t come from nowhere. It is part of the tradition of a club that, much later than most around it, could still boast some Stevie Potts, some Trevor Brookings - one-club players - and others who gave many, many years of service before ending their careers in lower divisions.
The revival of such club loyalty among 21st century premier league players would buck such an enormous trend in the game in general, and even at West Ham we have had to acknowledge that the present day reality is that players don’t stay with us very long. Young Mark Noble is our longest serving regular first teamer – which is bizarre. He’s still only about 11 years old. Nevertheless, you get the feeling now that many of the players who are currently to Upton Park want to commit their long-term future to the club, and in most cases not for the money.
In the good old days when we would score 80 goals a season but let in 84, beat top clubs and lose to all the crappy ones, and get dumped out of the F. A.Cup by nomarks from Division3, we had players who got all the pleasure they wanted just stepping out week on week in the claret and blue.
And for several of our players now you can feel that spirit returning. They can see the possibility of enjoying their football, relishing being part of a true team set-up and fulfilling their football ambitions by staying here. How many will actually be here in two years time is anybody’s guess but Zola and Clarke are reviving all the best traditions at Upton Park in the way we play, in the bond with the fans and the general feel about the place. Truly re-establishing that sense of absolute belonging among the players would be an enormous achievement for Little and Large.
But then, in the Beautiful Game, you have those who are steeped in the growing mercenary traditions pervading football outside of Upton Park – those who can only think of glory through their pay packet, who have been prepared to cynically turn their back on us, who claim they love the club one minute but show they only love themselves. Paul Ince did it years ago, then there was Jermaine Defoe and now we have today’s returnee – Craig Bellamy. Let’s make him know how we feel. (as if I needed to say that – people are already straining at the leash.)
Today will be a big test of character. We seemed to have been unduly knocked off balance and deflated by the barely deserved defeat against Man U and some pretty careless displays have followed. Giving away unnecessary free kicks just outside the box is criminally stupid and we were deservedly punished both at Bolton and at Middlesbrough. At least against Bolton we made several chances and goal attempts. Against Borough we were absolute pants. And I pity the thousands who made it up there instead of sitting in their living rooms at home shouting ‘fuckbolloxfuckbollox” and throwing their cat/supper/youngest child at the telly.
If we registered any worthwhile attempts on target, I must have been blinking at the time. Our approach play was far too obvious and slow and, whereas a few weeks ago we were looking sharp and clever, on Wednesday night we just looked tired and uninspired. Just like our dreams…
But there is still a lot to play for in the league. This time last year the season was already over – safe from relegation and also safely out of the race for Europe we were seeing out the games knowing that we were unlikely to finish higher than 9th or lower than 12th. This year the battle for 7th or even 6th might still be on for several teams including us. Though, conversely, if our poor run continues we could soon find ourselves back among the teams fighting the drop, so today we’ve not only got to put in a good performance but get a result. Three points are needed but even one might steady things a bit and help us look forward with hope to the following four fixtures, mainly against lowly teams, where there are points for the taking.
The desire by fans to put one over that under-evolved creature - Craig Bellamy – will certainly be a huge motivating factor but we‘ve got to do the business on the pitch and Zola has to think hard about his team selection. Di Michele has gone off the boil and Freddie Sears deserves another start. Midfield is harder to call. With the exception of Scotty Parker, whose performances have picked up again, Behrami, Noble and Collison have all disappointed lately. Kovac looked solid but lacking match practice against Borough. Savio can play a midfield role and might give us the spark we need to recapture. I’d like to see him in the starting eleven.
Bellamy aside, I find it hard to hate Man City. Most of my hate in that part of the world is almost completely used up by Manure and Bolton. Poor Citeh have always had to live in the shadow of their big cousins, thereby prompting my natural support for the underdog. Nevertheless I’m old enough to remember them winning the league back in ’68 with players like Mike Summerbee, Tony Book and Colin Bell. I’m sad enough, too, in my infinite recall of events 40 years ago (while I can’t remember what I was doing last week), to remember Hurst and Peters setting up goals for each other and scoring against them as we stuffed them 2-1 at Upton Park the following season, while the Citeh fans plaintively sang their own version of “Those Were the Days My Friend” (Remember Mary Hopkin? No, of course you don’t).
So, love football, hate Bellamy. Enjoy the game! COYI!!!!
From the moment that Craig Bellamy was out the exit door and scraping his knuckles along Green Street looking for the way north, no one has been waiting for his return to Upton Park in opposing colours more than the Upton Park faithful. We never ignore an ex-Hammer.
For those who gave their all for the club and chose to move on, but did so without acrimony, we are extraordinarily generous in our welcome and greetings. Just recently Carlos Tevez, Michael Carrick and Rio Ferdinand seemed quite overwhelmed by the warmth and degree of applause they received. When Bobby Zee returned with Fulham we applauded him as he stepped out, laughed as he blasted the ball into the Centenary stand (and remembered why we didn’t need him) but chanted his name with love as he eventually got substituted. Even when they have been gone ages – like Jimmy Bullard who recently stepped out for Hull - they have been remembered with total respect.
That doesn’t come from nowhere. It is part of the tradition of a club that, much later than most around it, could still boast some Stevie Potts, some Trevor Brookings - one-club players - and others who gave many, many years of service before ending their careers in lower divisions.
The revival of such club loyalty among 21st century premier league players would buck such an enormous trend in the game in general, and even at West Ham we have had to acknowledge that the present day reality is that players don’t stay with us very long. Young Mark Noble is our longest serving regular first teamer – which is bizarre. He’s still only about 11 years old. Nevertheless, you get the feeling now that many of the players who are currently to Upton Park want to commit their long-term future to the club, and in most cases not for the money.
In the good old days when we would score 80 goals a season but let in 84, beat top clubs and lose to all the crappy ones, and get dumped out of the F. A.Cup by nomarks from Division3, we had players who got all the pleasure they wanted just stepping out week on week in the claret and blue.
And for several of our players now you can feel that spirit returning. They can see the possibility of enjoying their football, relishing being part of a true team set-up and fulfilling their football ambitions by staying here. How many will actually be here in two years time is anybody’s guess but Zola and Clarke are reviving all the best traditions at Upton Park in the way we play, in the bond with the fans and the general feel about the place. Truly re-establishing that sense of absolute belonging among the players would be an enormous achievement for Little and Large.
But then, in the Beautiful Game, you have those who are steeped in the growing mercenary traditions pervading football outside of Upton Park – those who can only think of glory through their pay packet, who have been prepared to cynically turn their back on us, who claim they love the club one minute but show they only love themselves. Paul Ince did it years ago, then there was Jermaine Defoe and now we have today’s returnee – Craig Bellamy. Let’s make him know how we feel. (as if I needed to say that – people are already straining at the leash.)
Today will be a big test of character. We seemed to have been unduly knocked off balance and deflated by the barely deserved defeat against Man U and some pretty careless displays have followed. Giving away unnecessary free kicks just outside the box is criminally stupid and we were deservedly punished both at Bolton and at Middlesbrough. At least against Bolton we made several chances and goal attempts. Against Borough we were absolute pants. And I pity the thousands who made it up there instead of sitting in their living rooms at home shouting ‘fuckbolloxfuckbollox” and throwing their cat/supper/youngest child at the telly.
If we registered any worthwhile attempts on target, I must have been blinking at the time. Our approach play was far too obvious and slow and, whereas a few weeks ago we were looking sharp and clever, on Wednesday night we just looked tired and uninspired. Just like our dreams…
But there is still a lot to play for in the league. This time last year the season was already over – safe from relegation and also safely out of the race for Europe we were seeing out the games knowing that we were unlikely to finish higher than 9th or lower than 12th. This year the battle for 7th or even 6th might still be on for several teams including us. Though, conversely, if our poor run continues we could soon find ourselves back among the teams fighting the drop, so today we’ve not only got to put in a good performance but get a result. Three points are needed but even one might steady things a bit and help us look forward with hope to the following four fixtures, mainly against lowly teams, where there are points for the taking.
The desire by fans to put one over that under-evolved creature - Craig Bellamy – will certainly be a huge motivating factor but we‘ve got to do the business on the pitch and Zola has to think hard about his team selection. Di Michele has gone off the boil and Freddie Sears deserves another start. Midfield is harder to call. With the exception of Scotty Parker, whose performances have picked up again, Behrami, Noble and Collison have all disappointed lately. Kovac looked solid but lacking match practice against Borough. Savio can play a midfield role and might give us the spark we need to recapture. I’d like to see him in the starting eleven.
Bellamy aside, I find it hard to hate Man City. Most of my hate in that part of the world is almost completely used up by Manure and Bolton. Poor Citeh have always had to live in the shadow of their big cousins, thereby prompting my natural support for the underdog. Nevertheless I’m old enough to remember them winning the league back in ’68 with players like Mike Summerbee, Tony Book and Colin Bell. I’m sad enough, too, in my infinite recall of events 40 years ago (while I can’t remember what I was doing last week), to remember Hurst and Peters setting up goals for each other and scoring against them as we stuffed them 2-1 at Upton Park the following season, while the Citeh fans plaintively sang their own version of “Those Were the Days My Friend” (Remember Mary Hopkin? No, of course you don’t).
So, love football, hate Bellamy. Enjoy the game! COYI!!!!
Saturday, 14 February 2009
having a nice break
OLAS 455 February 14th 2009
Last summer, after 50 years on Planet Earth, I did something for the first time in my life. I broke a bone. No, not just out of some mad desire to try new things borne of a mid-life crisis. If I wanted to do that well there’s plenty of things I could do, like, I don’t know, eat bacon or do naked water-skiing. No, it was an accident, you understand. And it was just one toe – my big one on my left peg, but fuck me was it painful! So Jermaine Defoe, you may have put your foot in it now, so to speak, but I want you to know I understand just how frustrating and maddening it is, especially at this stage of the season. I can really feel your pain…as if! Had it happened to anyone else I would sympathise but in this case I’m laughing my plums off!
When we were relegated you could hardly wait ten minutes to try and run away, but I notice you are not running anywhere now. I watched as you burst on to the scene at West Ham. You were the most talented striker we have produced for donkeys. With a bit of patience and humility (not qualities you are renowned for), you could have been a hero at Upton Park. But you were one of those mercenary Craig Bellamy types, so you upped and left. You broke our hearts and now you have broken your toe.
That’s karma, man.
And all you can do now, maybe for the rest of the season, is watch your mates struggle to beat the big, big drop (get the latest odds from Mr M Etherington at Stoke). You’ve got time to kill now, Jermaine. Enjoy. And, as they say, “have a nice break.”
So, last Sunday, for the benefit principally of the Sky TV mega-empire for world domination, we took on the mightiest team in Europe (the world?) and came second, but it was a close run thing. Disappointed? Only a little. Worried or depressed? Not at all. We gave a performance of guile, determination and commitment that left me coming away from the ground feeling convinced that something very special is being built here by our three musketeers, as Gary rightly called them last issue, (remembering that keen Kevin was just as much part of the team).
If you watched MOTD last weekend you would have seen a very professional and convincing win by the other team in claret and blue – Aston Villa who are now seriously challenging the big guns. If we continue to develop the exciting and effective style of play we are demonstrating now, and show the same determination next summer, as we did in January, to hold on to our best players while carefully adding to the squad, then that is where we can be, and that is what we can be doing in the next 2-4 years.
The last time I felt like this was 2001, coincidentally also just after we played Man U. That was the time we undid them with Paulo di Canio’s cheeky goal while Barthez tried to put him off in an even cheekier way. But the true promise shown that day was not by some mad Italian footballing genius who buys up Mussolini first editions, but by the midfield trio of Lampard, Carrick and Cole, Kanoute up front (alongside di Canio), Hislop in goal, players that were just developing and improving since coming to the club like Schemmel and Tihinen and a crop of youngsters including Defoe and Anton Ferdinand coming through the youth team. If the club had made a proper investment then to build on that base there is every reason to believe that we could have turned into a top six club. But the board and management blew it. Big time.
It has taken a few years of ups and downs but now we have that opportunity again. Zola has trimmed the squad very well and gradually introduced competition for places. With a massive potential talent like Savio on the bench, getting used to West Ham and integrating into our style of play, and Sears desperate to be back on the pitch, di Michele is pulling out all the stops to show what an excellent player he still is. His recent performances have been outstanding. With Tomkins pushing for a place at the back, Upson and Colllins know they must maintain their current commanding form. And with that giant Kovac arriving. The midfield diamond know that any one of them is expendable and could soon be warming the bench if they are not performing to the best of their ability.
Carlton Cole’s development has been remarkable. I am still a little surprised he has made it into the England squad, but he has definitely made enormous strides (and not just because he has big feet). Come April, though, and he will be challenged for his place by Deano, the man with bionic ankles. But if Cole carries on playing with the confidence, skill and aggression he is now showing most of the time, Deano might struggle to dislodge him.
The surprise factor, and the true personification of our on-field progress has been Behrami. For so long we have been missing that kind of player who never gives up in the middle of the field, wins unwinnable tackles, drives forward, is happy to grow a beard, and can even score the odd goal. A Steve Lomas-Martin Allen-Billy Bonds rolled into one, although he is definitely not a south Londoner.
The only disappointment for me against the Mancs was Scotty Parker. He has been getting a lot of praise for his performances lately but last Sunday I thought he looked lethargic and was far too willing to go sideways or backwards instead of forward with the ball. Against a team like Man U, your chances of scoring diminish greatly if during an attack you give them a few minutes to regroup and that, I’m afraid, is what Scotty did most of the afternoon, despite often winning the ball impressively. I wouldn’t be surprised, or sorry, if he makes way for Kovac today.
Middlesbrough should be a less tough nut to crack, although teams struggling against relegation often produce surprising cup results. We should not, in the immortal worlds of the unlamented George Bush, “misundersestimate” them, but if we play anything like we did against Man United we ought to win comfortably. Middlesborough really are dull, dull, dull. My only connection with them (a tenuous one) is that my mate Clifford is a dead ringer for their manager Gareth Southgate. So much so that a few years ago at an airport in Guatemala he was approached by autograph hunters. Although its hard to believe that if Clifford appeared on a high street in Middlesbrough today that he’d get anyone seeking his signature. More likely they would throw things at him.
So, a chance to get into the quarter finals. I think Middlesbrough will come to frustrate – trying to take us way up North for a replay. We will need players willing to run at them and drag them out of position. And maybe Savio should start. If we get through today I don’t think we need to fear anyone we draw in the next round.
Jermaine, are you watching a cup game today? Oh no, I forgot Spurs were already dumped out of it. The Northern Lights are fading while the East is glowing.
Last summer, after 50 years on Planet Earth, I did something for the first time in my life. I broke a bone. No, not just out of some mad desire to try new things borne of a mid-life crisis. If I wanted to do that well there’s plenty of things I could do, like, I don’t know, eat bacon or do naked water-skiing. No, it was an accident, you understand. And it was just one toe – my big one on my left peg, but fuck me was it painful! So Jermaine Defoe, you may have put your foot in it now, so to speak, but I want you to know I understand just how frustrating and maddening it is, especially at this stage of the season. I can really feel your pain…as if! Had it happened to anyone else I would sympathise but in this case I’m laughing my plums off!
When we were relegated you could hardly wait ten minutes to try and run away, but I notice you are not running anywhere now. I watched as you burst on to the scene at West Ham. You were the most talented striker we have produced for donkeys. With a bit of patience and humility (not qualities you are renowned for), you could have been a hero at Upton Park. But you were one of those mercenary Craig Bellamy types, so you upped and left. You broke our hearts and now you have broken your toe.
That’s karma, man.
And all you can do now, maybe for the rest of the season, is watch your mates struggle to beat the big, big drop (get the latest odds from Mr M Etherington at Stoke). You’ve got time to kill now, Jermaine. Enjoy. And, as they say, “have a nice break.”
So, last Sunday, for the benefit principally of the Sky TV mega-empire for world domination, we took on the mightiest team in Europe (the world?) and came second, but it was a close run thing. Disappointed? Only a little. Worried or depressed? Not at all. We gave a performance of guile, determination and commitment that left me coming away from the ground feeling convinced that something very special is being built here by our three musketeers, as Gary rightly called them last issue, (remembering that keen Kevin was just as much part of the team).
If you watched MOTD last weekend you would have seen a very professional and convincing win by the other team in claret and blue – Aston Villa who are now seriously challenging the big guns. If we continue to develop the exciting and effective style of play we are demonstrating now, and show the same determination next summer, as we did in January, to hold on to our best players while carefully adding to the squad, then that is where we can be, and that is what we can be doing in the next 2-4 years.
The last time I felt like this was 2001, coincidentally also just after we played Man U. That was the time we undid them with Paulo di Canio’s cheeky goal while Barthez tried to put him off in an even cheekier way. But the true promise shown that day was not by some mad Italian footballing genius who buys up Mussolini first editions, but by the midfield trio of Lampard, Carrick and Cole, Kanoute up front (alongside di Canio), Hislop in goal, players that were just developing and improving since coming to the club like Schemmel and Tihinen and a crop of youngsters including Defoe and Anton Ferdinand coming through the youth team. If the club had made a proper investment then to build on that base there is every reason to believe that we could have turned into a top six club. But the board and management blew it. Big time.
It has taken a few years of ups and downs but now we have that opportunity again. Zola has trimmed the squad very well and gradually introduced competition for places. With a massive potential talent like Savio on the bench, getting used to West Ham and integrating into our style of play, and Sears desperate to be back on the pitch, di Michele is pulling out all the stops to show what an excellent player he still is. His recent performances have been outstanding. With Tomkins pushing for a place at the back, Upson and Colllins know they must maintain their current commanding form. And with that giant Kovac arriving. The midfield diamond know that any one of them is expendable and could soon be warming the bench if they are not performing to the best of their ability.
Carlton Cole’s development has been remarkable. I am still a little surprised he has made it into the England squad, but he has definitely made enormous strides (and not just because he has big feet). Come April, though, and he will be challenged for his place by Deano, the man with bionic ankles. But if Cole carries on playing with the confidence, skill and aggression he is now showing most of the time, Deano might struggle to dislodge him.
The surprise factor, and the true personification of our on-field progress has been Behrami. For so long we have been missing that kind of player who never gives up in the middle of the field, wins unwinnable tackles, drives forward, is happy to grow a beard, and can even score the odd goal. A Steve Lomas-Martin Allen-Billy Bonds rolled into one, although he is definitely not a south Londoner.
The only disappointment for me against the Mancs was Scotty Parker. He has been getting a lot of praise for his performances lately but last Sunday I thought he looked lethargic and was far too willing to go sideways or backwards instead of forward with the ball. Against a team like Man U, your chances of scoring diminish greatly if during an attack you give them a few minutes to regroup and that, I’m afraid, is what Scotty did most of the afternoon, despite often winning the ball impressively. I wouldn’t be surprised, or sorry, if he makes way for Kovac today.
Middlesbrough should be a less tough nut to crack, although teams struggling against relegation often produce surprising cup results. We should not, in the immortal worlds of the unlamented George Bush, “misundersestimate” them, but if we play anything like we did against Man United we ought to win comfortably. Middlesborough really are dull, dull, dull. My only connection with them (a tenuous one) is that my mate Clifford is a dead ringer for their manager Gareth Southgate. So much so that a few years ago at an airport in Guatemala he was approached by autograph hunters. Although its hard to believe that if Clifford appeared on a high street in Middlesbrough today that he’d get anyone seeking his signature. More likely they would throw things at him.
So, a chance to get into the quarter finals. I think Middlesbrough will come to frustrate – trying to take us way up North for a replay. We will need players willing to run at them and drag them out of position. And maybe Savio should start. If we get through today I don’t think we need to fear anyone we draw in the next round.
Jermaine, are you watching a cup game today? Oh no, I forgot Spurs were already dumped out of it. The Northern Lights are fading while the East is glowing.
Sunday, 8 February 2009
Regrets, I've had a few
OLAS 454 8th February 2009
One of my great regrets in life was giving in to the weather and packing up our tent at the Cambridge Folk Festival a few years ago hours before Joe Strummer was due to appear on stage with his Mescaleros band. It proved to be almost his last gig.
My other great regret was when I decided I couldn’t be bothered to come to a less than glamorous match at Upton Park in October 1983. I was probably washing my hair instead. It was the second leg of the League Cup or as it was known that year – the Milk Cup. We had won the first leg, 2-1, at Bury, and the second leg at home against inferior lower league opposition seemed a formality, so why bother? But what a formality! We buried poor Bury 10-0 that night, in front of less than 11,000 lucky fans. Tony Cottee scored four of the goals.
Well, with a bit of luck and a less agile goalkeeper we could have repeated that score against Hull in our last home match. Not that Hull were that bad but this was West ham’s cleverest and classiest attacking performance this season. The ball was pinging around in neat triangles and diamonds and we created enough chances to win very handsomely. Their goalie was magnificent stopping four or five certain goals. He pulled off two wondrous saves from Mark Noble, the first a powerfully driven penalty, the second an exquisite Yossi Benayoun-style chip. We hit the woodwork three times and Di Michele and Cole – who played magnificently throughout – both missed a couple of sitters each.
The team spirit, with every player making runs for each other, appreciating and applauding each other’s efforts - was there for all to see. And, to be honest, it needed Bellamy’s huge ego to be displaced for this team spirit to reveal itself. His constant moaning at other players, never mind the ref, was actually very undermining. Now we are truly West ham “United”. And what cheered me up no end last weekend was knowing that although Bellamy scored on his debut for Citeh during the week, he also knows what it’s like to lose to 10 men at Stoke, while we were glowing after picking up a point at Arsenal!
And what a point that is. One to add to the points already chalked up at Liverpool and Chelsea. And given the way we are playing at the minute, it wasn’t a big surprise. That afternoon, when some of you were in the Emirates, I was over in poncey Chelsea – not to see football, but art. We took my mother in law to “Unveiled” – a very powerful exhibition of Middle Eastern art – at the new Saatchi gallery at the top of Kings Road. We eventually found a free parking space after declining the opportunity to leave our car in the car park for a mere £12.20 for two hours.
Anyway we got home around 4.40 and immediately I switched on my computer on the Sporting life site – my footie site of choice - to catch the score. It was 0-0 with less than 10 minutes to go. Magnificent. I was in no doubt we would hold on. Now either I was dreaming or, even the anally retentive Arsene Wenger praised West Ham’s resolute defensive display. Something must be happening here.
Well, like wiping your bum, playing Man U is rarely pleasant but is one of those things you just have to do. Their current form may be completely awesome but we have no reason to fear them. Can West Ham beat Manure today? Well, it depends whether the historians or philosophers are right.
Historians base their methods on inquiry, explanation and argument. They gather information and evidence from the past and look for patterns to explain what has happened. On that basis they can claim to make a fair judgement about what is likely to happen today.
And if you look at West Ham’s results at home to Man U since the beginning of the 1990s you would expect to find a pattern of victories by the superpower that is Man U over the mini-statelet of West Ham – but Upton Park has been the great leveller where Alex Ferguson has failed time and again. In 14 attempts during that period Man U have won only four times. On the other occasions we have won three (including last year and the year before) and every other game has been a draw. And they have never beaten us at Upton Park two years running throughout that time. So if you go in for historical patterns, then even if they win this year they won’t next year.
Philosophers would no doubt disagree. They concern themselves with the nature of truth, reality and meaning. And let’s look at the reality, player for player. We love our team to bits but if you were Alex the Red Nosed Alky, is there one player in the Man U team you would swap for their West Ham counterpart? Rooney or Berbatov for Cole? I don’t think so. Ronaldo for Noble? Gary Neville for Lucas Neil – nope? And take a look at truth. It is clearly true that despite Robert Green’s heroics we have conceded 31 times this season while Manure have let in only 10.
The meaning of all this, from a philosophical point of view, is surely that this weekend after a great run, we are well and truly fucked. We should look forward to it only as an opportunity to witness a glorious defeat by the best team in the land.
Fuck philosophy – lets be historians this weekend and continue the fight for a better past. Because history tells us that we can do it. In those dark days last autumn I made myself feel better by counting a few matches we might scrape points from before we had to play the likes of Arsenal and Man U again. I had no inkling that we would go into this game unbeaten in league and cup for two months. But that is what we have done – and when I say “we”, I mean we, the fans who have kept faith and kept positive as Zola and Clarke have attempted to improve the team, and we the players and coaches who have never let their heads drop when things were not going our way. it is also pleasing to know that whatever the result, at worst we’ll stay in 8th place this weekend.
In my column a few weeks back I prematurely described the top six as a closed shop in which none of those posh clubs were going to be dislodged by the lower classes. Now we are within spitting distance of Everton (and it would be nice to spit at them after their daylight robbery here when we dominated the game for 80 minutes). If we keep our heads high, whatever the result today, and stay free of injuries with what is, still. a relatively thin squad, we might catch them. That would be an enormous achievement. There are no easy games in the last third of the season – many of the teams we will face will be worrying about relegation but we have momentum. Let’s keep it going.
Today, let’s remember to give Carlos and Rio a warm welcome, but let’s also use our volume as fan to encourage the team and put pressure on our visitors. In all honesty, I don’t think we will win today, but neither do I think we will lose. A hard fought draw, 1-1 or 2-2.
A final comment. I’ve noticed a strange phenomenon on the inside pages of OLAS these days. A bit like the way the pollen count goes up at certain times of year, the “Dave” count has also gone up. A recent issue had 6 or 7 of us (I was disguised as David). Perhaps a philosopher might look at this and surmise that if you happen to be called Dave their is a certain inevitability that at some time in your life you will write for OLAS. Or they might suggest that, if you continue to write for OLAS, your name might change to Dave. Alternatively it could prove something I have suspected for some time – that the world is essentially divided between Daves and non-Daves, and that the proportion of Daves are growing.
One of my great regrets in life was giving in to the weather and packing up our tent at the Cambridge Folk Festival a few years ago hours before Joe Strummer was due to appear on stage with his Mescaleros band. It proved to be almost his last gig.
My other great regret was when I decided I couldn’t be bothered to come to a less than glamorous match at Upton Park in October 1983. I was probably washing my hair instead. It was the second leg of the League Cup or as it was known that year – the Milk Cup. We had won the first leg, 2-1, at Bury, and the second leg at home against inferior lower league opposition seemed a formality, so why bother? But what a formality! We buried poor Bury 10-0 that night, in front of less than 11,000 lucky fans. Tony Cottee scored four of the goals.
Well, with a bit of luck and a less agile goalkeeper we could have repeated that score against Hull in our last home match. Not that Hull were that bad but this was West ham’s cleverest and classiest attacking performance this season. The ball was pinging around in neat triangles and diamonds and we created enough chances to win very handsomely. Their goalie was magnificent stopping four or five certain goals. He pulled off two wondrous saves from Mark Noble, the first a powerfully driven penalty, the second an exquisite Yossi Benayoun-style chip. We hit the woodwork three times and Di Michele and Cole – who played magnificently throughout – both missed a couple of sitters each.
The team spirit, with every player making runs for each other, appreciating and applauding each other’s efforts - was there for all to see. And, to be honest, it needed Bellamy’s huge ego to be displaced for this team spirit to reveal itself. His constant moaning at other players, never mind the ref, was actually very undermining. Now we are truly West ham “United”. And what cheered me up no end last weekend was knowing that although Bellamy scored on his debut for Citeh during the week, he also knows what it’s like to lose to 10 men at Stoke, while we were glowing after picking up a point at Arsenal!
And what a point that is. One to add to the points already chalked up at Liverpool and Chelsea. And given the way we are playing at the minute, it wasn’t a big surprise. That afternoon, when some of you were in the Emirates, I was over in poncey Chelsea – not to see football, but art. We took my mother in law to “Unveiled” – a very powerful exhibition of Middle Eastern art – at the new Saatchi gallery at the top of Kings Road. We eventually found a free parking space after declining the opportunity to leave our car in the car park for a mere £12.20 for two hours.
Anyway we got home around 4.40 and immediately I switched on my computer on the Sporting life site – my footie site of choice - to catch the score. It was 0-0 with less than 10 minutes to go. Magnificent. I was in no doubt we would hold on. Now either I was dreaming or, even the anally retentive Arsene Wenger praised West Ham’s resolute defensive display. Something must be happening here.
Well, like wiping your bum, playing Man U is rarely pleasant but is one of those things you just have to do. Their current form may be completely awesome but we have no reason to fear them. Can West Ham beat Manure today? Well, it depends whether the historians or philosophers are right.
Historians base their methods on inquiry, explanation and argument. They gather information and evidence from the past and look for patterns to explain what has happened. On that basis they can claim to make a fair judgement about what is likely to happen today.
And if you look at West Ham’s results at home to Man U since the beginning of the 1990s you would expect to find a pattern of victories by the superpower that is Man U over the mini-statelet of West Ham – but Upton Park has been the great leveller where Alex Ferguson has failed time and again. In 14 attempts during that period Man U have won only four times. On the other occasions we have won three (including last year and the year before) and every other game has been a draw. And they have never beaten us at Upton Park two years running throughout that time. So if you go in for historical patterns, then even if they win this year they won’t next year.
Philosophers would no doubt disagree. They concern themselves with the nature of truth, reality and meaning. And let’s look at the reality, player for player. We love our team to bits but if you were Alex the Red Nosed Alky, is there one player in the Man U team you would swap for their West Ham counterpart? Rooney or Berbatov for Cole? I don’t think so. Ronaldo for Noble? Gary Neville for Lucas Neil – nope? And take a look at truth. It is clearly true that despite Robert Green’s heroics we have conceded 31 times this season while Manure have let in only 10.
The meaning of all this, from a philosophical point of view, is surely that this weekend after a great run, we are well and truly fucked. We should look forward to it only as an opportunity to witness a glorious defeat by the best team in the land.
Fuck philosophy – lets be historians this weekend and continue the fight for a better past. Because history tells us that we can do it. In those dark days last autumn I made myself feel better by counting a few matches we might scrape points from before we had to play the likes of Arsenal and Man U again. I had no inkling that we would go into this game unbeaten in league and cup for two months. But that is what we have done – and when I say “we”, I mean we, the fans who have kept faith and kept positive as Zola and Clarke have attempted to improve the team, and we the players and coaches who have never let their heads drop when things were not going our way. it is also pleasing to know that whatever the result, at worst we’ll stay in 8th place this weekend.
In my column a few weeks back I prematurely described the top six as a closed shop in which none of those posh clubs were going to be dislodged by the lower classes. Now we are within spitting distance of Everton (and it would be nice to spit at them after their daylight robbery here when we dominated the game for 80 minutes). If we keep our heads high, whatever the result today, and stay free of injuries with what is, still. a relatively thin squad, we might catch them. That would be an enormous achievement. There are no easy games in the last third of the season – many of the teams we will face will be worrying about relegation but we have momentum. Let’s keep it going.
Today, let’s remember to give Carlos and Rio a warm welcome, but let’s also use our volume as fan to encourage the team and put pressure on our visitors. In all honesty, I don’t think we will win today, but neither do I think we will lose. A hard fought draw, 1-1 or 2-2.
A final comment. I’ve noticed a strange phenomenon on the inside pages of OLAS these days. A bit like the way the pollen count goes up at certain times of year, the “Dave” count has also gone up. A recent issue had 6 or 7 of us (I was disguised as David). Perhaps a philosopher might look at this and surmise that if you happen to be called Dave their is a certain inevitability that at some time in your life you will write for OLAS. Or they might suggest that, if you continue to write for OLAS, your name might change to Dave. Alternatively it could prove something I have suspected for some time – that the world is essentially divided between Daves and non-Daves, and that the proportion of Daves are growing.
Monday, 2 February 2009
Wemb-er-ley
OLAS 453 28 January 2009
We’re on our way to Wembley! Don’t you feel the vibe too? Two solid wins against the lower league sides that are normally our big banana skin and a home draw in the 5th round while some of the premiership teams like Spuds and Portsmouth are slipping out of the competition. Gianfranco knows what the FA Cup means and he’s got the players psyched up for it. All we need is for Liverpool to meet us there at Wembley. We owe them.
Hartlepool lived up to their name and put their heart and soul into the game but I was never in doubt that we would win and it was a great team performance. The patches of possession football where we strung 20 passes together were exquisite and at the heart of this was Scotty Parker who played his best game since we drew at Chelsea. But I was also impressed with di Michele. He also had a cracker against Fulham where he had some big shoes to step into.
With Piltdown Man heading off to Citeh, despite giving it all the “I’ll never ask for a move” bollox, di Michele knew he had to impress and it took him just 6 minutes to get us singing “Who needs Craig Bellamy?” as he quickly and cleverly took advantage of John Paintsil pants defending. Di Michele was lively and intelligent throughout the Fulham game and even more so at Hartlepool. And with Carlton Cole’s confidence high (and his boots – careful Carlton), we’re going well and things are definitely looking up.
Bellamy of course is a talented player, but very injury prone and a total wanker constantly in danger of getting sent off as he mouths off to the refs. the refs are crap – always have been – but here at West Ham we deal with them with a bit of class. Bobby Moore often used to get his way with refs with a few quiet words here and there. We’ll live without Bellamy and his prognathous skull, but I dearly hope that by the time this comes out we’ll have a replacement. The media reckon we’re “this close” to signing the 19yar old Ugandan wonderkid whose been playing at Brescia, or as Nani would like to see them, our feeder club.
If we sign Nsereko then I’ll have every reason to come to West Ham in my Ugandan under-21 football shirt. So what’s a 51 year-old geezer, London born and bred, doing with such a shirt? Well spiritually, Uganda is my adopted second home. I spent five weeks working in a school there in 2001, revisited the school and surrounding area in 2005, know some great people there who I stay in touch with, saw crocodiles chilling out there near Murchison Falls, and love the place. The school was in Masindi region about 130 miles north west of Kampala – Nsereko’s birthplace. I lived there in the local community – no electricity, no running water, no telly, no computers with West Ham blogs – and loved every minute. I hope I’ll spend more time there at some point in the future and I’m continuing to learn Swahili to prepare for that. The words you need to know are “mpira ya miguu” - that’s “football” and “Ninaendelea kuvuma viputo milele” – which means “I’m forever blowing bubbles”. Don’t know how to say “Bellamy you total toerag” but I’ll find out. No, hold on, it’s “Bellamy, wewe ni toerag kabisa kabisa!”
The school I work in over here is an inner city concrete jungle where space is so tight we have our playground on the roof. And because they are Islington kids and don’t know how to play the West Ham way, the balls keep flying off the roof.
In Kizibu School, Masindi we had space, mango trees growing in the playground, chickens and goats running around, and a full size football pitch. The only problem with the pitch is that about 5 in the afternoon a guy would come with his cattle for them to do their grazing. And these cattle were serious cattle with huge horns in semi-circles that almost met. They munched the grass for half an hour then moved on but they left a big bare patch in one half of the footie field. Nor sure the FA would approve, though they would probably be cool about it if it was Man U.
Anyway I’ve seen the youtube video and Nsereko look like a real prospect. Before Brescia he played in Germany. It’s going to confuse the BNP herd in the crowd isn’t it? They’ll like him, well, ‘cos he’s German ain’t he, but he’s black as well. Hopefully he’ll give them something to think about.
So back in October and November when we were dropping points as frequently as tosspot Russell Brand drops his pants, did you think Zola was going to turn it around? Me, I was worried. Big time. But I’m so glad he has. No doubt we’ll have injuries and a dip in form at some point but I feel he has properly developed a system, a way of playing, an approach that the players seem very comfortable and confident with. And I’m sure that Steve Clarke has had a big hand in that too.
The Fulham game was a key one because when you are on a good run you need to beat the teams around you. And we have the same task tonight. Hull also had a sound cup result, though their league form has been very ropey. They know that if they don’t start picking up points soon they can go back down again to their natural home. For all their fantastic form at the beginning of the campaign they are just 6 points above the drop zone. I think they will be a hard to beat, but we’re playing with confidence and determination and I hope we might nick it.
Another player whose return to form has really made me chuffed is our local hero Mark Noble. He’s had an inconsistent season while a lot of eyes have been on the new kid in the block – Jack Collison. But at the moment we’re blessed with both of them playing well. and with Scotty Parker returning to form and Behrami playing like the new Billy Bonds, our midfield is formidable
So just a few days of the transfer window left and we’ve still got Noble, Collison, Upson and Green –I’m starting to feel hopeful we’ll retain them. After tonight we’ve got the Arse and Man U. Wouldn’t it be great to go into those matches on a high. We may not take points from them but if we can face them undefeated since early December then we can give them a run for their money. Meanwhile I don’t want to bring you down, or make you feel blue, but I’m sad to report that Glenn Roeder has been sacked again….Wehey!!!!!!!
We’re on our way to Wembley! Don’t you feel the vibe too? Two solid wins against the lower league sides that are normally our big banana skin and a home draw in the 5th round while some of the premiership teams like Spuds and Portsmouth are slipping out of the competition. Gianfranco knows what the FA Cup means and he’s got the players psyched up for it. All we need is for Liverpool to meet us there at Wembley. We owe them.
Hartlepool lived up to their name and put their heart and soul into the game but I was never in doubt that we would win and it was a great team performance. The patches of possession football where we strung 20 passes together were exquisite and at the heart of this was Scotty Parker who played his best game since we drew at Chelsea. But I was also impressed with di Michele. He also had a cracker against Fulham where he had some big shoes to step into.
With Piltdown Man heading off to Citeh, despite giving it all the “I’ll never ask for a move” bollox, di Michele knew he had to impress and it took him just 6 minutes to get us singing “Who needs Craig Bellamy?” as he quickly and cleverly took advantage of John Paintsil pants defending. Di Michele was lively and intelligent throughout the Fulham game and even more so at Hartlepool. And with Carlton Cole’s confidence high (and his boots – careful Carlton), we’re going well and things are definitely looking up.
Bellamy of course is a talented player, but very injury prone and a total wanker constantly in danger of getting sent off as he mouths off to the refs. the refs are crap – always have been – but here at West Ham we deal with them with a bit of class. Bobby Moore often used to get his way with refs with a few quiet words here and there. We’ll live without Bellamy and his prognathous skull, but I dearly hope that by the time this comes out we’ll have a replacement. The media reckon we’re “this close” to signing the 19yar old Ugandan wonderkid whose been playing at Brescia, or as Nani would like to see them, our feeder club.
If we sign Nsereko then I’ll have every reason to come to West Ham in my Ugandan under-21 football shirt. So what’s a 51 year-old geezer, London born and bred, doing with such a shirt? Well spiritually, Uganda is my adopted second home. I spent five weeks working in a school there in 2001, revisited the school and surrounding area in 2005, know some great people there who I stay in touch with, saw crocodiles chilling out there near Murchison Falls, and love the place. The school was in Masindi region about 130 miles north west of Kampala – Nsereko’s birthplace. I lived there in the local community – no electricity, no running water, no telly, no computers with West Ham blogs – and loved every minute. I hope I’ll spend more time there at some point in the future and I’m continuing to learn Swahili to prepare for that. The words you need to know are “mpira ya miguu” - that’s “football” and “Ninaendelea kuvuma viputo milele” – which means “I’m forever blowing bubbles”. Don’t know how to say “Bellamy you total toerag” but I’ll find out. No, hold on, it’s “Bellamy, wewe ni toerag kabisa kabisa!”
The school I work in over here is an inner city concrete jungle where space is so tight we have our playground on the roof. And because they are Islington kids and don’t know how to play the West Ham way, the balls keep flying off the roof.
In Kizibu School, Masindi we had space, mango trees growing in the playground, chickens and goats running around, and a full size football pitch. The only problem with the pitch is that about 5 in the afternoon a guy would come with his cattle for them to do their grazing. And these cattle were serious cattle with huge horns in semi-circles that almost met. They munched the grass for half an hour then moved on but they left a big bare patch in one half of the footie field. Nor sure the FA would approve, though they would probably be cool about it if it was Man U.
Anyway I’ve seen the youtube video and Nsereko look like a real prospect. Before Brescia he played in Germany. It’s going to confuse the BNP herd in the crowd isn’t it? They’ll like him, well, ‘cos he’s German ain’t he, but he’s black as well. Hopefully he’ll give them something to think about.
So back in October and November when we were dropping points as frequently as tosspot Russell Brand drops his pants, did you think Zola was going to turn it around? Me, I was worried. Big time. But I’m so glad he has. No doubt we’ll have injuries and a dip in form at some point but I feel he has properly developed a system, a way of playing, an approach that the players seem very comfortable and confident with. And I’m sure that Steve Clarke has had a big hand in that too.
The Fulham game was a key one because when you are on a good run you need to beat the teams around you. And we have the same task tonight. Hull also had a sound cup result, though their league form has been very ropey. They know that if they don’t start picking up points soon they can go back down again to their natural home. For all their fantastic form at the beginning of the campaign they are just 6 points above the drop zone. I think they will be a hard to beat, but we’re playing with confidence and determination and I hope we might nick it.
Another player whose return to form has really made me chuffed is our local hero Mark Noble. He’s had an inconsistent season while a lot of eyes have been on the new kid in the block – Jack Collison. But at the moment we’re blessed with both of them playing well. and with Scotty Parker returning to form and Behrami playing like the new Billy Bonds, our midfield is formidable
So just a few days of the transfer window left and we’ve still got Noble, Collison, Upson and Green –I’m starting to feel hopeful we’ll retain them. After tonight we’ve got the Arse and Man U. Wouldn’t it be great to go into those matches on a high. We may not take points from them but if we can face them undefeated since early December then we can give them a run for their money. Meanwhile I don’t want to bring you down, or make you feel blue, but I’m sad to report that Glenn Roeder has been sacked again….Wehey!!!!!!!
Sunday, 18 January 2009
The Life of Brian
OLAS 452 January 18th 2009
How did that old Stranglers song go? “Whatever happened to Leon Trotsky? He got an ice pick that made his ears burn…”
What I want to know is whatever happened to that spherical super-striker dear old Brian Dear? If you think Frankie Lumpard is a tub of lard, well Brian Dear would have made him look like an anorexic supermodel.
Now why, all of a sudden, am I wondering about Brian Dear, my dear readers? Well it was a freezing cold day in February 1968 when I was getting ready to go to West Ham v Fulham and the sky turned white. Huge flakes of snow came down for about half an hour but miraculously didn’t settle. I had been worried that the game would be called off but it wasn’t – and what a game! Fulham scored first (Stevie Earle) but on 30 minutes West Ham got a corner, players jumped, the ball was propelled towards the goal but hit an immoveable obstacle right near the goal line. it was Brian Dear. The ball hit him on the chest, dropped to his feet, and he lifted a leg and back-heeled it in. Cheeky or what?
And that’s how it started. Twenty-five minutes later we were 5-1 up. And there was more to come. Martin Peters and Geoff Hurst added two further goals with Alan Clarke getting one more back for Fulham in between. The final score? 7-2. With Hurst soon to be joined by Clyde Best and Pop Robson, dear old Brian Dear didn’t get too many more outings. But I’ll always remember that cheeky goal, that incredible game, and think about the life of Brian. Apparently he still holds a record in the English game for the quickest five goals by one player – all in a 20 minute period against West Bromwich Albion in 1965.
So, Gianfranco, you are committed to attacking football, and here we are playing Fulham around this time of year again, and I’d like to see us tear them apart the way we did in ‘68. We’re certainly finding the net again – 11 in the last four games – and I have to say it, Carlton Cole’s goal against the barcodes was straight out of the Geoff Hurst copybook. Instead of his usual first-touch fumble and flop, he took the ball on his knee, made a quick turn then thump - a rising shot at lightning speed blasted into the roof of the net with his left peg. I thought I was dreaming at first, but it was true.
Going back to Fulham for a mo. The legendary Johnny Haynes captained the team that endured the 7-2 humiliation. He was a superb passer of the ball and Fulham legend who bawled his eyes out the one time he was booked. Now if Julian dicks behaved like that he would have run out of tears.
But Johnny Haynes was a great footballer and, when he retired, even though he wasn’t West Ham, I went to his testimonial match. You don’t get many chances to see the true greats. (I popped down to Fulham a few years later to see them play a friendly against Santos in which Pele was playing). Anyway getting to Johnny Haynes testimonial was a bit of a shlep for two young kids – my brother and me – so my mum took us. I don’t remember much about the game just that there were lots of guest players and even more goals. What stands out in my mind was walking up the Fulham Road after the game to get to the tube when we recognised a Fulham player – Stan Horne. we stopped him and got his autograph and he invited my mum to come and have a drink in the pub. Think he might have been getting Stan Horny. Anyway she turned him down, mumbled something about us having school in the morning. And to think I could have had a footballer going out with my mum…
So, anything interesting happening in your life since 2009? Certainly a lot has been happening here. Uncharacteristically, we have gone smoothly through the third round of the Cup. The first season I stated watching West Ham we lost 3-1 to 3rd division Swindon in a replay at this stage and it hasn’t got much better over the years (apart from 1975, 80 and 2006). I warned in the last OLAS that there might be some unexpected absences with “flu” against Baaarnsley and described how I was biting my nails waiting to see that Green, Noble and Bellamy would be on the field getting cup-tied. Well, there were all out there but dear, oh dear, where was Matthew Upson? He was out son. Down with “flu” or so they say… but as I write he is still with us, as are all our “stars” despite some silly money offers. Either the club is serious about a principled decision to hold on to its assets or they are waiting for offers in excess of £15million.
We have lost a couple of fringe players. I wonder if Mattie had a bet that he’s move on? He’s not been himself for a while so maybe a new start at Stoke will do him good. And Bowyer’s gone – but only on loan – to Brimingham. If it weren’t for the credit crunch I would have bought him myself and dumped him in the Midlands. Rumour has it that LBM may be on his way to Hull. Now readers of this column will know he is not my favourite player, but in the last few weeks he has shown more of what I thought he could do, and though I don’t really want to say it publicly, and please don’t tell anyone I said it, I think I want him to stay. But looking through the other end of the telescope I haven’t seen any stars heading this way either. We’re on a good run at the moment, sitting in the top half of the table. playing some sparkling football in patches, and this surely is the time to build in any way we can. I’ll be mighty disappointed if we can’t get another couple of players, even on loan, by the end of the month.
Next up in the cup, a trip to the North east again to Hartlepool famous for the hanging of a monkey during the Napoleonic wars, whoim they mistook for a French spy! (why couldn’t they just spank him?) and also notorious for its loathsome and haunting former MP, now Lord Mandelson. He was the one who, when he first stood for that constituency, popped into a chippie in Harlepool and asked for some guacamole having failed to recognise the gooey snot-like green formation as mushy peas! I used to eat this delicacy myself when I was a student in Leeds. I got them from our local chippie opposite the uni called “Sweaty Betty’s” which, for some odd reason. always made me think about sweaty balls. Anyway we have a great chance to progress to the fifth round and I fancy a home tie against a premiership team to spice things up.
Talking of the premiership, those august institutions - the Premier League and the FA want our bollox on a plate as Tevezgate re-opens. And this is serious. I guess a lot will depend on Kia who has wormed his way into the Upton Park set up. I think he is going to extract a lot of secret promises that are going to keep him quiet and earning a pretty penny for a long time for any assistance he can offer the club in keeping the FA sweet (note to readers: “FA sweet” is different to “sweet FA”). I suspect we may get hit for a further fine but I don’t think there will be a points reduction and this will almost be the end of the affair. Whatever outcome, it will force the Sheffield United claim to be dealt with. Let’s hope that no one at the club, whatever the temptation, is stupid enough to take us on that kind of adventure again.
But what are the guarantees? The only possible safeguard is accountability and transparency and that means a complete ovehaul of how the club is working at the moment. You wonder how much they even tell the chirpy little man, Zola. Still what Zola is getting the players to do on the pitch means that we are happy to focus there, and the players are apparently unfazed by it, but it will be a nagging worry until it is sorted.
So a tough game today. Welcome back to old faces, and welcome to Roy Hodgson who has a funny face. I always think he looks like a character from an old British movie. a kind of ordinary Joe who plods away saying ‘all right guv” when you pass. Bless him. The returning refugees and outcasts will be desperate to do well, none more so than Bobby Zamora. I won’t be surprised of he nabs a goal but I think we can nick it. It’s a New Year, time for a prediction. I’ll go 7-2. I should get good odds on that. Only joking. But a mini-goal fest ending 3-2 wouldn’t surprise me. with Bellers and Cole on target again. And maybe Collision too.
So on a cold Sunday in January I’ll be in the Doc Martens Upper waiting for, and expecting, every goal, And as the Stranglers also said “I can think of a lot worse places to be like down on the streets or down in the sewer, or even on the end of a skewer”...or up before the FA?
Let’s put that to one side today and remember East is East and West is West. Let’s show that East is the best. And by the way Leon Trotsky was murdered in Mexico in 1940 by agents of Stalin, though his book “Fascism what it is and how to fight it” remains a classic, and Brian Dear, the last I heard was running a pub. COYI!!!
How did that old Stranglers song go? “Whatever happened to Leon Trotsky? He got an ice pick that made his ears burn…”
What I want to know is whatever happened to that spherical super-striker dear old Brian Dear? If you think Frankie Lumpard is a tub of lard, well Brian Dear would have made him look like an anorexic supermodel.
Now why, all of a sudden, am I wondering about Brian Dear, my dear readers? Well it was a freezing cold day in February 1968 when I was getting ready to go to West Ham v Fulham and the sky turned white. Huge flakes of snow came down for about half an hour but miraculously didn’t settle. I had been worried that the game would be called off but it wasn’t – and what a game! Fulham scored first (Stevie Earle) but on 30 minutes West Ham got a corner, players jumped, the ball was propelled towards the goal but hit an immoveable obstacle right near the goal line. it was Brian Dear. The ball hit him on the chest, dropped to his feet, and he lifted a leg and back-heeled it in. Cheeky or what?
And that’s how it started. Twenty-five minutes later we were 5-1 up. And there was more to come. Martin Peters and Geoff Hurst added two further goals with Alan Clarke getting one more back for Fulham in between. The final score? 7-2. With Hurst soon to be joined by Clyde Best and Pop Robson, dear old Brian Dear didn’t get too many more outings. But I’ll always remember that cheeky goal, that incredible game, and think about the life of Brian. Apparently he still holds a record in the English game for the quickest five goals by one player – all in a 20 minute period against West Bromwich Albion in 1965.
So, Gianfranco, you are committed to attacking football, and here we are playing Fulham around this time of year again, and I’d like to see us tear them apart the way we did in ‘68. We’re certainly finding the net again – 11 in the last four games – and I have to say it, Carlton Cole’s goal against the barcodes was straight out of the Geoff Hurst copybook. Instead of his usual first-touch fumble and flop, he took the ball on his knee, made a quick turn then thump - a rising shot at lightning speed blasted into the roof of the net with his left peg. I thought I was dreaming at first, but it was true.
Going back to Fulham for a mo. The legendary Johnny Haynes captained the team that endured the 7-2 humiliation. He was a superb passer of the ball and Fulham legend who bawled his eyes out the one time he was booked. Now if Julian dicks behaved like that he would have run out of tears.
But Johnny Haynes was a great footballer and, when he retired, even though he wasn’t West Ham, I went to his testimonial match. You don’t get many chances to see the true greats. (I popped down to Fulham a few years later to see them play a friendly against Santos in which Pele was playing). Anyway getting to Johnny Haynes testimonial was a bit of a shlep for two young kids – my brother and me – so my mum took us. I don’t remember much about the game just that there were lots of guest players and even more goals. What stands out in my mind was walking up the Fulham Road after the game to get to the tube when we recognised a Fulham player – Stan Horne. we stopped him and got his autograph and he invited my mum to come and have a drink in the pub. Think he might have been getting Stan Horny. Anyway she turned him down, mumbled something about us having school in the morning. And to think I could have had a footballer going out with my mum…
So, anything interesting happening in your life since 2009? Certainly a lot has been happening here. Uncharacteristically, we have gone smoothly through the third round of the Cup. The first season I stated watching West Ham we lost 3-1 to 3rd division Swindon in a replay at this stage and it hasn’t got much better over the years (apart from 1975, 80 and 2006). I warned in the last OLAS that there might be some unexpected absences with “flu” against Baaarnsley and described how I was biting my nails waiting to see that Green, Noble and Bellamy would be on the field getting cup-tied. Well, there were all out there but dear, oh dear, where was Matthew Upson? He was out son. Down with “flu” or so they say… but as I write he is still with us, as are all our “stars” despite some silly money offers. Either the club is serious about a principled decision to hold on to its assets or they are waiting for offers in excess of £15million.
We have lost a couple of fringe players. I wonder if Mattie had a bet that he’s move on? He’s not been himself for a while so maybe a new start at Stoke will do him good. And Bowyer’s gone – but only on loan – to Brimingham. If it weren’t for the credit crunch I would have bought him myself and dumped him in the Midlands. Rumour has it that LBM may be on his way to Hull. Now readers of this column will know he is not my favourite player, but in the last few weeks he has shown more of what I thought he could do, and though I don’t really want to say it publicly, and please don’t tell anyone I said it, I think I want him to stay. But looking through the other end of the telescope I haven’t seen any stars heading this way either. We’re on a good run at the moment, sitting in the top half of the table. playing some sparkling football in patches, and this surely is the time to build in any way we can. I’ll be mighty disappointed if we can’t get another couple of players, even on loan, by the end of the month.
Next up in the cup, a trip to the North east again to Hartlepool famous for the hanging of a monkey during the Napoleonic wars, whoim they mistook for a French spy! (why couldn’t they just spank him?) and also notorious for its loathsome and haunting former MP, now Lord Mandelson. He was the one who, when he first stood for that constituency, popped into a chippie in Harlepool and asked for some guacamole having failed to recognise the gooey snot-like green formation as mushy peas! I used to eat this delicacy myself when I was a student in Leeds. I got them from our local chippie opposite the uni called “Sweaty Betty’s” which, for some odd reason. always made me think about sweaty balls. Anyway we have a great chance to progress to the fifth round and I fancy a home tie against a premiership team to spice things up.
Talking of the premiership, those august institutions - the Premier League and the FA want our bollox on a plate as Tevezgate re-opens. And this is serious. I guess a lot will depend on Kia who has wormed his way into the Upton Park set up. I think he is going to extract a lot of secret promises that are going to keep him quiet and earning a pretty penny for a long time for any assistance he can offer the club in keeping the FA sweet (note to readers: “FA sweet” is different to “sweet FA”). I suspect we may get hit for a further fine but I don’t think there will be a points reduction and this will almost be the end of the affair. Whatever outcome, it will force the Sheffield United claim to be dealt with. Let’s hope that no one at the club, whatever the temptation, is stupid enough to take us on that kind of adventure again.
But what are the guarantees? The only possible safeguard is accountability and transparency and that means a complete ovehaul of how the club is working at the moment. You wonder how much they even tell the chirpy little man, Zola. Still what Zola is getting the players to do on the pitch means that we are happy to focus there, and the players are apparently unfazed by it, but it will be a nagging worry until it is sorted.
So a tough game today. Welcome back to old faces, and welcome to Roy Hodgson who has a funny face. I always think he looks like a character from an old British movie. a kind of ordinary Joe who plods away saying ‘all right guv” when you pass. Bless him. The returning refugees and outcasts will be desperate to do well, none more so than Bobby Zamora. I won’t be surprised of he nabs a goal but I think we can nick it. It’s a New Year, time for a prediction. I’ll go 7-2. I should get good odds on that. Only joking. But a mini-goal fest ending 3-2 wouldn’t surprise me. with Bellers and Cole on target again. And maybe Collision too.
So on a cold Sunday in January I’ll be in the Doc Martens Upper waiting for, and expecting, every goal, And as the Stranglers also said “I can think of a lot worse places to be like down on the streets or down in the sewer, or even on the end of a skewer”...or up before the FA?
Let’s put that to one side today and remember East is East and West is West. Let’s show that East is the best. And by the way Leon Trotsky was murdered in Mexico in 1940 by agents of Stalin, though his book “Fascism what it is and how to fight it” remains a classic, and Brian Dear, the last I heard was running a pub. COYI!!!
Saturday, 3 January 2009
The circus comes to town
OLAS 451 January 3rd 2009
People do have irrational fears. For some it’s spiders or earwigs. For others it’s facial hair or talking babies in films. Some people fear certain situations – like confined spaces or darkness. But one that I’ve always found it hard to get my head around is “Coulrophobia” – a fear of clowns. I love them but I know that not everyone does. And I’m well aware that one of the great voices of our times, Bart Simpson, famously said: “Can’t sleep, clown will eat me.”
After the Stoke game I feel I ought to issue a loud and clear warning to any coulrophobics out there to avoid Upton Park. The match was a 90-minute circus. End to end yes, but a circus nevertheless. Shambolic defending in both areas; promising moves breaking down by pathetically misplaced passes behind rather than in front of players; the referee sliding over; shots that would go anywhere but on target, Slowbear Faubert grinning inanely as he overlapped and even went round defenders only to plant his crosses somewhere in the upper stand; Carlton Cole at his profligate worst, then turning on a sixpence to plant a beautiful goal in the corner; and, of course, Stoke City’s unique contribution – players on the same team slapping and shoving each other (which the ref failed to see the funny side of). all they needed were some cakes to push in each other’s faces.
Clowns walk that tightrope and swing that trapeze between the extremes of happiness and sadness. Apparently this is the root cause of some of the fears about them. Their smile is not real but painted on (bet some of you didn’t know that) and you can only guess their “real” emotions. Well West Ham’s clowns confused and upset me a little bit against Stoke, and I don’t think I was the only one in the ground who, for most of the game, didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
At the final whistle though I was laughing like a drain. Three bizarre points popped into the bag. A player whose glittering international reputation was built on a series of spectacular strikes fell to his knees in joy after the ball bounced off him into the goal in the 88th minute. And suddenly we were back in the top half of the table. The news that Tottenham had lost 2-0 to the bottom club crowned the day. I laughed till the tears rolled down my legs.
Over the years I’ve become accustomed to West Ham, looking like a bunch of Christmas puds, struggling to pick up any points over the Christmas period, so 6 points from the two games this year is a real bonus and I’m pleased and relieved for Zola and Clarke. Even better, the points were gained at the expense of the right teams. It would have certainly been a wheeze to have won at Liverpool and Chelsea then drawn with Portsmouth and Stoke, but Liverpool and Chelsea are not our rivals in any meaningful sense, and it is much more useful to take points off the other teams struggling to pull clear of relegation worries.
So just over the halfway mark we find ourselves in 10th place, still only five points above the drop zone, but at the same time able to set our sights on dislodging the teams immediately above us – Fulham, Hull and Wigan – two of whom will visit Upton Park in January. Fulham are pulling off some impressive results, but player for player we should at least match them, and we won at Craven Cottage back in September. Hull are in a false position, still propelled by the adrenalin of promotion but running out of juice and they face a tough, tough second half of the season. Wigan are an enigma, a yo-yo side, capable of testing the best and struggling against the worst (bit like us really) but again we’ve already turned them over once this season.
The top six are established now and their mini-league is probably closed off to others for the rest of the campaign. Some people may be mildly interested who wins the title – I’m not, but I’d like to see Villa and Everton push the Arse into 6th place. Below them is one huge free-for-all where just 10 points separate 14 teams. And with the bottom team on 18 points at this stage, reaching 40 points may not prove enough to keep a team in the top flight. Every match from here on in, when any of these 14 teams face each other, is a relegation battle.
On the field, despite the dodgy win against Stoke, West Ham are definitely on an upward trajectory. Eleven points from the last seven games compares favourably with just two points from the previous seven. And with a bit of luck we might have got more. Unfortunately, it is off the field though that our fate will most likely be decided and here is where we might indulge in some collective coulrophobia – because who knows what stunts the clowns running this club of ours will pull next? Unlike cases of true coulrophobia, our fears are totally, totally rational.
If Gary’s source is accurate and every single player we possess is potentially up for sale during January, then all the efforts of the last few weeks to turn it around will come to nought. Our squad is lacking in quality, not blessed with an abundance of it, and letting go of any of our top players now for a quick buck would be suicidal.
The first indication of whether our fears are accurate will come today in the distraction of the F.A. Cup. If a couple of our star players are missing, don’t be fooled by the rationalisation that the Cup offers the chance to give some other squad players a run-out; and don’t believe any tales of players laid down low by flu or viruses. It’s bollox - because essentially it translates to: “These players are being transferred and the buyers refuse to meet the asking price if they are cup-tied.” Which is why I will be mighty relieved to see Bellend, Nobes and Greeny out there today, and why I suspect that at least one of them, possibly more, will mysteriously not appear.
Leaving my paranoia aside, a cup run would be a major boost during a difficult season. As Portsmouth showed last year, and we ourselves showed under Pardew, the cup can be a great leveller. Barnsley did well against top-flight sides last year and will be no pushovers. I’ve got a soft spot for Baaaaarnsleee – nothing to do with football though. It was the birthplace of great comedians like Harry Worth and Charlie Williams (ask your mum – she’ll remember them), singer/songwriter Kate Rusby and trade unionist/serial Thatcher-hater Arthur Scargill, which makes it a top location in my view.
Scargill may be a fanatical Leeds supporter and, yes, he did that annoying Bobby Charlton thing with his hair, but he knew what Thatcher was doing with the mines from day one. The mines have gone, and in many of the desolated villages left behind the only expanding industry today is selling heroin. Young empty lives lost to escapism from misery and unemployment while the demented old bat is still flitting about.
Now Charlie Williams was actually a professional footballer playing centre half for Doncaster Rovers before becoming a comedian. With great honesty he described his footballing prowess: “I was never a fancy player but I could stop them buggers that were.” He would have seen the irony last Sunday at Upton Park, where several comedians were masquerading as footballers. Let’s hope that today the emphasis is on serious fun and that we ensure a place in the fourth round draw. So here’s to a great 2009 where all our fears prove unfounded and our dreams don’t fade or die. See you at Wembley. COYI!!!
People do have irrational fears. For some it’s spiders or earwigs. For others it’s facial hair or talking babies in films. Some people fear certain situations – like confined spaces or darkness. But one that I’ve always found it hard to get my head around is “Coulrophobia” – a fear of clowns. I love them but I know that not everyone does. And I’m well aware that one of the great voices of our times, Bart Simpson, famously said: “Can’t sleep, clown will eat me.”
After the Stoke game I feel I ought to issue a loud and clear warning to any coulrophobics out there to avoid Upton Park. The match was a 90-minute circus. End to end yes, but a circus nevertheless. Shambolic defending in both areas; promising moves breaking down by pathetically misplaced passes behind rather than in front of players; the referee sliding over; shots that would go anywhere but on target, Slowbear Faubert grinning inanely as he overlapped and even went round defenders only to plant his crosses somewhere in the upper stand; Carlton Cole at his profligate worst, then turning on a sixpence to plant a beautiful goal in the corner; and, of course, Stoke City’s unique contribution – players on the same team slapping and shoving each other (which the ref failed to see the funny side of). all they needed were some cakes to push in each other’s faces.
Clowns walk that tightrope and swing that trapeze between the extremes of happiness and sadness. Apparently this is the root cause of some of the fears about them. Their smile is not real but painted on (bet some of you didn’t know that) and you can only guess their “real” emotions. Well West Ham’s clowns confused and upset me a little bit against Stoke, and I don’t think I was the only one in the ground who, for most of the game, didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
At the final whistle though I was laughing like a drain. Three bizarre points popped into the bag. A player whose glittering international reputation was built on a series of spectacular strikes fell to his knees in joy after the ball bounced off him into the goal in the 88th minute. And suddenly we were back in the top half of the table. The news that Tottenham had lost 2-0 to the bottom club crowned the day. I laughed till the tears rolled down my legs.
Over the years I’ve become accustomed to West Ham, looking like a bunch of Christmas puds, struggling to pick up any points over the Christmas period, so 6 points from the two games this year is a real bonus and I’m pleased and relieved for Zola and Clarke. Even better, the points were gained at the expense of the right teams. It would have certainly been a wheeze to have won at Liverpool and Chelsea then drawn with Portsmouth and Stoke, but Liverpool and Chelsea are not our rivals in any meaningful sense, and it is much more useful to take points off the other teams struggling to pull clear of relegation worries.
So just over the halfway mark we find ourselves in 10th place, still only five points above the drop zone, but at the same time able to set our sights on dislodging the teams immediately above us – Fulham, Hull and Wigan – two of whom will visit Upton Park in January. Fulham are pulling off some impressive results, but player for player we should at least match them, and we won at Craven Cottage back in September. Hull are in a false position, still propelled by the adrenalin of promotion but running out of juice and they face a tough, tough second half of the season. Wigan are an enigma, a yo-yo side, capable of testing the best and struggling against the worst (bit like us really) but again we’ve already turned them over once this season.
The top six are established now and their mini-league is probably closed off to others for the rest of the campaign. Some people may be mildly interested who wins the title – I’m not, but I’d like to see Villa and Everton push the Arse into 6th place. Below them is one huge free-for-all where just 10 points separate 14 teams. And with the bottom team on 18 points at this stage, reaching 40 points may not prove enough to keep a team in the top flight. Every match from here on in, when any of these 14 teams face each other, is a relegation battle.
On the field, despite the dodgy win against Stoke, West Ham are definitely on an upward trajectory. Eleven points from the last seven games compares favourably with just two points from the previous seven. And with a bit of luck we might have got more. Unfortunately, it is off the field though that our fate will most likely be decided and here is where we might indulge in some collective coulrophobia – because who knows what stunts the clowns running this club of ours will pull next? Unlike cases of true coulrophobia, our fears are totally, totally rational.
If Gary’s source is accurate and every single player we possess is potentially up for sale during January, then all the efforts of the last few weeks to turn it around will come to nought. Our squad is lacking in quality, not blessed with an abundance of it, and letting go of any of our top players now for a quick buck would be suicidal.
The first indication of whether our fears are accurate will come today in the distraction of the F.A. Cup. If a couple of our star players are missing, don’t be fooled by the rationalisation that the Cup offers the chance to give some other squad players a run-out; and don’t believe any tales of players laid down low by flu or viruses. It’s bollox - because essentially it translates to: “These players are being transferred and the buyers refuse to meet the asking price if they are cup-tied.” Which is why I will be mighty relieved to see Bellend, Nobes and Greeny out there today, and why I suspect that at least one of them, possibly more, will mysteriously not appear.
Leaving my paranoia aside, a cup run would be a major boost during a difficult season. As Portsmouth showed last year, and we ourselves showed under Pardew, the cup can be a great leveller. Barnsley did well against top-flight sides last year and will be no pushovers. I’ve got a soft spot for Baaaaarnsleee – nothing to do with football though. It was the birthplace of great comedians like Harry Worth and Charlie Williams (ask your mum – she’ll remember them), singer/songwriter Kate Rusby and trade unionist/serial Thatcher-hater Arthur Scargill, which makes it a top location in my view.
Scargill may be a fanatical Leeds supporter and, yes, he did that annoying Bobby Charlton thing with his hair, but he knew what Thatcher was doing with the mines from day one. The mines have gone, and in many of the desolated villages left behind the only expanding industry today is selling heroin. Young empty lives lost to escapism from misery and unemployment while the demented old bat is still flitting about.
Now Charlie Williams was actually a professional footballer playing centre half for Doncaster Rovers before becoming a comedian. With great honesty he described his footballing prowess: “I was never a fancy player but I could stop them buggers that were.” He would have seen the irony last Sunday at Upton Park, where several comedians were masquerading as footballers. Let’s hope that today the emphasis is on serious fun and that we ensure a place in the fourth round draw. So here’s to a great 2009 where all our fears prove unfounded and our dreams don’t fade or die. See you at Wembley. COYI!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
