None shall escape the judgement

OLAS 460 9th May 2009

Diego Tristan – way past his sell-by date, less mobility than a statue or a corpse, a complete waste of space; Lucas Neill – slow as a snail, constantly out of position and obviously only here for the cash; Luis Boa Morte, a clown, a brainless goof, doesn’t know his arse from his el-boa…Well if I got it right all the time I would only get smug and I’m sure you discerning OLAS readers wouldn’t want your writers getting all smug, would you?

The great Irish writer James Joyce reckoned that “a man’s errors are his portals of discovery”, and I like to think that my portals are in fine fettle and that generally I can make the same claim that the late John Peel made, when he said, “I never make stupid mistakes, only very, very clever ones.”

it looks like I’ve got to ‘fess up to being far too hasty making some harsh judgements earlier this year. It has taken a while but Tristan’s goal against Stoke and his performance in general gave more than a hint as to why Zola has been willing to place faith in him. It could be argued that both his first two goals for the club were merely accidental collisions between his body and the ball, just random phenomena of time and space, but his free kick at Stoke was a marvellous piece of execution by someone who you sense could once do that kind of trick on a regular basis – and could do so again.

If that goal restores his confidence and self-belief and motivates him to increase his work-rate as he seeks to get his contract extended, then it couldn’t have come at a better time. And the same goes for our other two current heroes that I’ve been running down, with abuse and harsh words over the season. LBM is probably in the best spell of form for us that he has enjoyed since he got here on the back of an expensive foray into the transfer kitty that rarely ever looked remotely justified. In the last few games he’s been winning crucial tackles without murdering or stamping on his opponents, he has been driving forward in style, going past players, and placing accurate passes that motivate attacks. And Lucas Neill has been marshalling the defence, sweeping up in a defensive midfield position when required as well as helping to launch attacks with long cross field passes. Small wonder that in the last 9 league games we’ve only conceded four goals.

Some of the credit for that defensive record must also be given to James Tomkins who is growing in stature every game (in a metaphorical sense of course – the geezer started off about 9 foot tall already). Having Mattie Upson steady as a rock beside him, and Greenie in terrific form behind him, obviously helps. But with Lucas playing his best too and Ilunga enjoying his game, you’ve got to feel that we have a chance of remaining unbeaten and picking up points in all our three remaining games, starting with what must be on paper the toughest one, when we pit our wits against Liverpool today.

Facing Chelsea we were completely outclassed and spent much of the game elusively chasing the ball, knowing that every time we won it, one stray pass and we might not touch it for another five minutes. Yet we kept our shape, and our solidity at the back ensured that most of Chelsea’s opportunities were from a distance. We were never out of the game, even after conceding, and in contrast to their attempts mainly from outside the box, we actually had the clearer chances. If just one of them, including a penalty, had been put away, we could have come out with an unlikely point. And that was despite ending the game with half the team under 21 years of age and some of them barely out of school.

Today, I expect more of the same – Liverpool will outclass us, they will dominate, but we have to match them for effort, keep our shape and expose their defensive frailties. If one player can score four goals against them in one game imagine what a whole team could do! We won’t get anywhere today by being too clever and patient in our build up, it is the quick incisive pass, the clever dummy run that pulls defenders out of position, the first time effort…that could undo Liverpool today.

Let’s hope Savio has recovered – he had to pull out of the squad against Stoke, but it’s his quick thinking we need, or Keiron Dyer’s, or Junior Stan-man’s, to make an impact on Liverpool’s rearguard.

When Tom Jones sang “It’s not unusual” he probably did not have in mind “for West Ham to be desperately seeking points at this stage of the season”. It doesn’t even scan, but let’s imagine he did. How many times have we gone into the last few games needing points for survival? But here we are, this year, seeking those end of season points to propel us back into European football. it’s hard to believe and, under Curbishley, it would have been as unlikely as me growing an extra leg.

It’s a big ask given the resources of at least two of the three clubs that are competing with us, but I have to admit I’ll feel a bit disappointed now if we don’t do it, especially as two of them – Citeh and Spuds – have to play each other, and hopefully will reach a stalemate from which we can benefit. Citeh also have to face their local neighbours who want to hold on to the title and take revenge for recent defeats at the hands of Citeh. Whatever happens today I fancy us to get at least four if not five or 6 points from these last three games. Some pundits believe four will be sufficient. I’m not so sure. Of the four competing teams I still have a sneaking feeling that Fulham will grab it, but since we go into those last thee games one point ahead of the chasing pack, it is at least on our own hands.

Whatever the final outcome we’ve got to acknowledge that our little Italian and his dour Scottish assistant have done a fantastic job here against the odds. Protecting the players from all the shenanigans going on about Tevezgate and the Icelandic aspect of the global banking crisis, instilling them with a team ethos and self-belief, and the resilience to pick themselves up after setbacks, bringing out the best from players who had been coasting, not letting injuries become any kind of excuse a la Redflap and his bare bones, shipping Lee Bowyer far away, and showing faith in the mental maturity of youth players…that is why we’re heading for exciting times.

And so am I over the next few days. Yes, I’m excited about playing Liverpool this afternoon but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’m looking forward even more to Monday when I’m heading south of the river to see the Specials at Brixton Academy. I always loved their music and saw a lot of their contemporaries – the Beat, the Selecter, Elvis Costello, the Jam, the Clash, but never saw The Specials playing live. In recent years I’ve seen some of the individuals from the Specials – Roddy Radiation, Neville Staples but not all together – so I can’t wait, especially for that song for that Rude Boy, Louis Boa Morte: “Stop your messing around, better think of your future, time you straighten right out, creating problems in town…”

Let’s hope that the result is a bit special today too. COYI!!!!