SELF RESPECT

OLAS 442 30th August 2008

Sometimes you can look at something from a distance and think it looks really special, only to find as you get much closer that it’s not what you thought and you return disappointed. If anyone sees in the distance a score line, which shows West Ham winning 4-1, don’t be fooled. We were atrocious but lucky.

So, how can you be lucky when you win by such a margin? Well, over 90 minutes, West Ham were fortunate to be on level terms with a team languishing at the bottom of League 2 who are yet to score this season. After needlessly giving a corner away from a lack of communication between Davenport and Green, and with Davenport off the field getting attention while the corner was taken, we got mugged by a simple header from the corner on the six-yard box.

Macclesfield held on until the 74th minute when Bowyer equalised. We barely deserved it. Up to then our play had been slow and predictable, and completely lacking in any bite. We were so dull, in fact, that I managed to read most of OLAS during the game without missing much of the action. And that’s no reflection on OLAS – which was as good a read as ever. Macclesfield were well-organised, quick to break and would have been perfectly good value for the win.

Earlier that day the Evening Standard carried headlines claiming that morale was at an all-time low at Upton Park, and the players seemed to express that with their insipid performance for 90 minutes. Maybe the crowd didn’t lift them enough, but then it was hardly a crowd. As I walked to my seat there was no need to say, “excuse me” to anyone. I could stretch my arms and legs. It was like a private party – with West Ham waiting for me to arrive and playing just for me (though within a few minutes it had the atmosphere of a private funeral).

I haven’t seen a stand so empty since I used to go to Leyton Orient back in the day, when you used to phone them to check what time the game was, and they’d reply, “What time can you get here?” Well, it was almost like that. And we know whose fault it was that Upton Park was a sea of empty seats. I opened my last OLAS piece fulminating at the outrageous prices we were made to pay of this lowly fixture. It seems that a lot of you dedicated fans who come week after week watching us play shite for most of the game, were better than me at saying “enough is enough”. You voted with your feet to tell our greedy landlords what you thought of their complete and utter chutzpah.

Now, I already have lots of reasons for hating Lee Bowyer, and I won’t rehearse them again here, and I didn’t think I would need to stack up any more, but I’ve got one now. Without his late goal, with barely a quarter of an hour to go, I don’t think we would have drawn level. We would have been out of the Carling Cup; one of our few chances of any success this year – and to a team several leagues below us on our home turf. Had that happened I have no doubt that Alan Curbishley would have been shown the door. He might even have had the self-respect to open the door himself and wave goodbye. As it is, he lives to bore us and drag us down a little longer, and who knows what state we will be in when the inevitable finally happens?

I don’t want to get all Shakespearian, though I know you OLAS readers are a cultured crowd, but as Lady Macbeth says “If it were done when 't is done, then 't were well ‘t were done quickly.” Wonder if she’s available for the post of manager…

The papers on Thursday morning described the crowd singing for Curbishley, before Bowyer’s goal, “Your gonna be sacked in the morning”. Then they quoted Curbs saying he “enjoys” his job (well I guess he might, in a Max Mosley sort of way).

But really it’s beyond a joke now. And on the subject of humiliation and beatings, one of West Ham’s greatest (that is to say, worst) humiliations was when Blackburn arrived at Christmas 1964 and their Christmas surprise was to thump West Ham 8-2 at Upton Park. Well, it looks like that kind of Christmas may be coming early here when Blackburn return today. On our Carling cup performance over 90 minutes I can see Blackburn putting eight past us, though I can’t see us getting two. Two bookings maybe, but goals? I don’t think so. And when you know who will be gloating with that plastic smile on Match of the Day, after they thump us that is not an enticing prospect.

On the KUMB website the other day I noticed one commentator compared Alan Curbishley with Gordon Brown. Using the pseudonym “Harry Redflap” I observed: “Except that Gordon Brown lacks Curbishley's charisma and sense of humour. What's the odds on who's getting relegated first - West Ham or Labour? Actually we could do with a bit of peoples' power in both these institutions.''

And now the good news…because there is some. As the players left the field, ultimately to applause at the end of the Macclesfield marathon, there were four players who could emerge with their heads held high from this game, and three of them were substitutes. Of the 11 that started, only Deano looked as if he wanted to be there and make an impact. He was unfortunate not to get on the scoresheet himself, had a hand in two of the goals and especially in that extra-time period, after lowly Macclesfield had managed to get a player sent off to make it an even game and give us a fighting chance, Deano showed a lot of nice touches.

Carlton Cole looked sharp when he came on and was determined to get a goal, which he did. But the two brightest stars were Kyel Reid and Zavon Hines. Kyel has worked hard to earn his chance at West Ham. When he had occasional opportunities in the past to show what he could do, he looked determined but very one-footed and quite predictable. He’s obviously been working at his game and loan periods have done him no harm at all. He’s come back a more balanced, skilful and powerful player. Not only did he show that he has the ability to go past players to the by-line but also that he could pack a powerful and accurate shot. And in a side that shows an almost pacifistic aversion to shooting, that’s coming at just the right time.

Kyel Reid needs to be placed above Mattie Etherington in the pecking order now and be given some proper opportunities. Mattie, you scored a great goal for us a few years back against Ipswich, but you are pretty second rate now and you are fulfilling the role that I had been reluctant to mark you down as – essentially, you are a Spurs reject. You might think you can still do it, and if you are still on the gambling crack, you might want to bet on making a comeback, but if we are determined to play our strongest team I don’t see it happening. When we need a strong left-sided midfielder I would plump for Kyel every time now.

The other good news is Zavon Hines, who looks quite a prospect – quick, comfortable on the ball, inventive, competitive – why, I can almost see him going to Aston Villa now. Let’s hope he stays and we can turn him into one of our next academy graduates. With Noble below his best, Parker faffing around, Faubert showing moments of great ability and promise but not consistently, we should be prepared to give Zavon some opportunities on the bigger stage. And it wouldn’t do any harm to those who have hugged the midfield places this year to know there is serious competition.

Meanwhile, another of the bright stars from our academy firmament has departed. As I predicted he would last year, Anton Ferdinand has gone. He was a quality player whose emotional maturity was a bit lacking but that would come in time. Of course, the Board have got a good price for him, but they have also confirmed that we are a selling, not a buying club. With several of our defenders of less quality still injured, this transfer smacks of financial desperation and severely weakens our defensive options. If Upson or Davenport gets injured what are we going to do – play Luis Boa Morte in central defence? And what message does it send to the best of our academy players? To Zavon, Kyel and Freddie? As the transfer widow is half-shut, I suspect there will be more movement out than in, though I wouldn’t rule out us picking up some league 2 player on loan and have them talked up by Curbishley as the new Ronaldo.

Let’s hope that whichever players are picked today have enough self-respect, and respect for us fans to put in a big performance. Enjoy the game. COYI!!!